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I've learned far too late that it isn't who you are. No one cares. It's what you do. The things I do don't come close to reflecting who I am. I need to change. I've known this for awhile. I don't know if it's been laziness or if I just haven't realized the importance of it until now. Probably a combination of the two. I know I have the will....I now need to find a means. I need to be better for everyone. You're all so good to me...I never pay it back. I apologize too much and I know your sick of hearing it by now. I need to make it so I won't have to apologize. I can't stand me right now. I know I'm a good person and also know, too well, that my actions don't show it. Not in the least. This journal entry doesn't even matter. These are just pretty words until I find out what the hell I'm going to do. How am I going to change? Is it just so simple a thing and I'm over thinking like I always do? Any small change would be nice. Just tell me if you can help me. I don't care if it's negative or positive. I know it's weird asking something like this in a livejournal entry but I'll try most anything at this point. I don't like sounding like I'm begging but I'm on my hands and knees right now. I know I can help myself, I just need to know how.