Seriously Hormonal, Help!
I'm having a terrible time with mood swings lately. I'm 27 weeks along today. It's so bad that I'm just screaming at my family for every little thing, I can tell it's starting to strain my marriage. We've been together for 14 years and we're just under 3 months away from our ten year wedding anniversary--and today I made him so mad he had to go out for a drive, and he told me I'd be lucky if he doesn't leave me (I seriously don't blame him. He's put up with a LOT over the years but a person can only take so much).
I WOULD be lucky if he doesn't--I'm just terrible to live with right now. Everything sets me off into a terrible rage and I don't think my sanity or my marriage can survive another 3 months of this. Edit: I should add that I can completely tell that the level of my bad temper lately is completely not normal for me. I really think it's pregnancy related.
For context I've had mental health issues in the past, but am currently not on medication. I probably should be on something, if only a low-level dose (I have some issues that are clearly not normal functioning-in-society level), but my general practitioner physician won't prescribe psychiatric meds for insurance reasons, and it's pretty impossible for me to meet with a psychiatrist regularly with no day-care and a 2 year old to care for. I also have a sleep disorder that needs to be regulated with Klonopin (I'm psychotic in my sleep--I see hallucinations, hear things, think people are trying to hurt me, etc. I am not dangerous but it's hard to deal with and it means I can't sleep in the same room as my husband or he'd never get any rest for work), but that medication is harmful while pregnant. Last time I was pregnant I saw a sleep doctor about my disorder who basically told me to sleep on the floor at 8 months pregnant to minimize the damage I do when I throw myself out of bed. That was the sum total of her advice.
My question for you, pregnant members, is this: is there something I can do about the mood swings? I need to do something drastic and FAST, because right now I'm pretty much a shitty person to be around and I don't want to permanently damage the relationships I have with the people that mean the most to me, my husband and my daughter. I'm legit terrified I've already messed them up beyond repair.
EDIT: LOL okay I didn't want to do this but I think my post is getting derailed:
I seriously sleep with a motherfucking flashlight on a bracelet around my wrist because I need it multiple times a night to prove to myself the room is empty and not filled with people trying to hurt me. I can't sleep with it on the nightstand anymore because when I'm half asleep I'm convinced the people that aren't actually in the room are TRYING TO STEAL IT. Potty training is not the problem with my sleep, I swear. I know you're trying to help but I probably personally get up to pee more than I get up to help my daughter pee! I know this is probably disturbing and believe me if I could fix it I would, but the only reliable thing to make the sleep psychosis go away is a medicine I can't take while pregnant. I was looking for advice on how the other issue that's a *new* issue for me might be solved. I truly, 100% appreciate the helpful comments, but I can't fix the sleep issue right now. If that makes me a jerk or ungrateful, so be it.
I WOULD be lucky if he doesn't--I'm just terrible to live with right now. Everything sets me off into a terrible rage and I don't think my sanity or my marriage can survive another 3 months of this. Edit: I should add that I can completely tell that the level of my bad temper lately is completely not normal for me. I really think it's pregnancy related.
For context I've had mental health issues in the past, but am currently not on medication. I probably should be on something, if only a low-level dose (I have some issues that are clearly not normal functioning-in-society level), but my general practitioner physician won't prescribe psychiatric meds for insurance reasons, and it's pretty impossible for me to meet with a psychiatrist regularly with no day-care and a 2 year old to care for. I also have a sleep disorder that needs to be regulated with Klonopin (I'm psychotic in my sleep--I see hallucinations, hear things, think people are trying to hurt me, etc. I am not dangerous but it's hard to deal with and it means I can't sleep in the same room as my husband or he'd never get any rest for work), but that medication is harmful while pregnant. Last time I was pregnant I saw a sleep doctor about my disorder who basically told me to sleep on the floor at 8 months pregnant to minimize the damage I do when I throw myself out of bed. That was the sum total of her advice.
My question for you, pregnant members, is this: is there something I can do about the mood swings? I need to do something drastic and FAST, because right now I'm pretty much a shitty person to be around and I don't want to permanently damage the relationships I have with the people that mean the most to me, my husband and my daughter. I'm legit terrified I've already messed them up beyond repair.
EDIT: LOL okay I didn't want to do this but I think my post is getting derailed:
I seriously sleep with a motherfucking flashlight on a bracelet around my wrist because I need it multiple times a night to prove to myself the room is empty and not filled with people trying to hurt me. I can't sleep with it on the nightstand anymore because when I'm half asleep I'm convinced the people that aren't actually in the room are TRYING TO STEAL IT. Potty training is not the problem with my sleep, I swear. I know you're trying to help but I probably personally get up to pee more than I get up to help my daughter pee! I know this is probably disturbing and believe me if I could fix it I would, but the only reliable thing to make the sleep psychosis go away is a medicine I can't take while pregnant. I was looking for advice on how the other issue that's a *new* issue for me might be solved. I truly, 100% appreciate the helpful comments, but I can't fix the sleep issue right now. If that makes me a jerk or ungrateful, so be it.