Heartbeat

[cozyjeans]

I’m going to try to keep this short, because I’m tired and I wanna go to bed. But I wanted to update you all on my freak out about going to the midwife and the thoughts that were running through my head that she would tell me I was nuts, totally not pregnant, and to go home. Well, I had my appointment today, and I was terrified. She totally understood, and put off all the other routine stuff til later, and immediately had me lie on the bed. She felt my uterus, told me I was right on track for 13 weeks. Then she got out the nifty Doppler thing, and after finding my heartbeat and getting me all excited thinking it was the baby’s, she found another one. It was louder and swishier, and had us all thinking it was the baby. She stuck around there for a minute, and decided it was the placenta, not the baby. She moved on, and a couple minutes later, she found a faint, but strong and fast heartbeat way down low. Unmistakeably a baby heartbeat, 150 bpm. I was so thrilled, relieved, excited, every emotion rolled into one. My husband just kept saying wow over and over again. It was amazing. So now I feel connected to this baby, this pregnancy in general, but it still doesn’t quite feel real. Does that make sense? I no longer fear for my sanity though. At least not til the next thing comes along that I worry incessantly about. Haha.

13w
PS-I posted something similar in my DDT, so if you see it more than once, sorry about that.