My mom has been similar, she hasn't seen a birth in at least 18 years, and still believes in using lots of drugs (epidurals,pain killers), inductions, pelvic exams..etc etc. No matter what I try to explain to her, she goes "uh huh", like just because I haven't had a baby means I have no idea what's best for my child.
I've learned to brush it off...because I know that I DO know whats best for me and my daughter. It'll be ok. Take everything they say with grain of salt.
That's what I've been doing up to this point but I guess having to argue with all three at nearly the same time made me feel overwhelmed and kinda ganged up on. Part of it too is that they all have this hard headed anything I tell them is ignored attitude that makes me nuts. These are not decisions I made arbitrarily, I have put in a lot of thought and research and chose this way because I feel it is most beneficial to me and my child. They all act as though, as you said because I have not done it yet I am entirely incompetent, far be it from me to mention that at one point they had yet to do it too. Now that they've been separated I'll deal with it without losing my head, I just couldn't take all of them at once.
Understandably... I couldn't wait for my shower to be over for the same reasons. Unfortunately I have had to avoid some family members, because of their beliefs about childbirth, and I just got so sick of arguing.
All you have to do is prove them wrong. I know it's frustrating, because I was so there when I was pregnant. My mom was super supportive, but my MIL sat at my baby shower and told everyone that I would cave and get an epidural, just like my SIL. When my husband called her after my son was born, I shouted across the room, "Make sure you tell her it was DRUG FREE." And you know what? She now tells people how I recovered much faster than my SIL and how breastfeeding was easier (even though she's against that, too), so there must be something to going natural.
I can't wait till I come out of that room with my baby and a clear un-drug addled head and show them that it can be done. Them telling me I can't only pokes my stubborn bone and makes me more determined.
That's how I was! I obviously originally wanted to do it for all the benefits of natural childbirth, but toward the end, I was like, I don't CARE how much this hurts, I'm refusing anything just to prove my MIL wrong!
I was the same way. At the worst moments, the one thing that kept me from transferring to the hospital for an epidural was "There is no way in hell I'm letting them think they're right" haha.
Yeah, because as a first time mom what I REALLY need now is someone telling me how bad it is and that I am too weak to handle it. Gee thanks, I am so reassured!
I've even had MEN at my workplace make comments about labor and how "i have no idea what it's like" wellll i'm pretty sure I have JUST AS GOOD of an idea as you buddy!
OOMGGG! My boss does this and it makes me sooo mad! It's like your wife does NOT equal every pregnant woman in the universe and even if she did, she probably minimized her vocalization of her pain so you would shut up!!
i get that too! especially the "oh its your first, you dont know". grr! i dont mind when its worded "if you can make it, right on" that seems less doubting and condescending.
when people give me crap about it i usually reply that fear causes stress and that causes tension and that makes labor harder. or i tell them the negatives to epidurals, which makes me sad bc so many women were never told them. the thought of something messing with my spine freaks me out worse than the idea of a baby popping out my lady parts.
i get crap from people telling me that im being selfish for only wanting my mother and husband in the room and no visitors the first day. if only people would let you be pregnant in peace!
Yeah me and my MIL have already had issues because the only ones I want in delivery with me are my mom hunny and either dad of sis depending on if my dad chickens out or not. She is very adamant that she be there. Frankly I don't give a whit. I also stipulated that I want as few in labor as possible, honestly being around my MIL makes me tense so she'll have to deal.
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My mom has been similar, she hasn't seen a birth in at least 18 years, and still believes in using lots of drugs (epidurals,pain killers), inductions, pelvic exams..etc etc. No matter what I try to explain to her, she goes "uh huh", like just because I haven't had a baby means I have no idea what's best for my child.
I've learned to brush it off...because I know that I DO know whats best for me and my daughter. It'll be ok. Take everything they say with grain of salt.
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Unfortunately I have had to avoid some family members, because of their beliefs about childbirth, and I just got so sick of arguing.
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when people give me crap about it i usually reply that fear causes stress and that causes tension and that makes labor harder. or i tell them the negatives to epidurals, which makes me sad bc so many women were never told them. the thought of something messing with my spine freaks me out worse than the idea of a baby popping out my lady parts.
i get crap from people telling me that im being selfish for only wanting my mother and husband in the room and no visitors the first day. if only people would let you be pregnant in peace!
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I'm sorry you have to put up with that bull from everyone :(
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