The One That Got Away
Title Is Not Mine
Pairing : Yunho/ Changmin (Homin)
Genre : Angst, Bittersweet Ending
Summary :
Changmin hate his brother and always wishing him to die, one day he had a dream that his brother is death. But when he wakes up, he realized that whole this time yunho never exists in reality.
God..
I know .. he didn’t mean it when he say it
But it breaks my heart knowing that I’m the one
Who caused his pain
If only my existence just suffered him
Then please..
Please.. make me disappear ...
Changmin watched his brother yunho, through his window as his brother parked his car in the garage. Bastard! Why did he come here! He cursed his brother silently, he doesn’t know what the reason but he so damn hate his older brother, yunho, so much. Well maybe because the fact that their parents love yunho more than him, or because the fact that yunho always be the great son who always get the best thing from their parents.
They are became too opposite, yunho always be the best son, best brother, best in everything and changmin always be the spoiled son, the trouble maker, the bad ones.
When changmin grown up he start to hate his older brother even more, he always tried to start the fight, swore at yunho. But never at once yunho said some cruel words at changmin.
Even if they fight, their parents always take side on yunho. It was never fair, it had been this way since they were kids.
So in order to get his parents attention, changmin show his protest. He let his hair grow and dyed it blond. His parents and yunho, were shocked when they saw his new look. And changmin gave them satisfied smirk. Days by days he added more new style, he piercing his ear and adds another in his lips, when his mother find out about tattoo in his arm he got the first slap from her. He touched his cheek and smirked, owh yeah that got your attention don’t you mom? The later days he starts smoking in school.
***
Yunho went in the house and hoped not to meet into his younger brother. He didn’t hate him, he just don’t want to fight with him. He never understand why changmin hate him so much and treated him like enemy. His heartache when he remembered how changmin look at him with so much anger and pain. But even after everything, even how much changmin hate him, yunho still loved him.
When yunho entered the house, he could hear the loud music blasting from changmin’s room. He ignored the noise and entered to living room. Yunho sighed, how come they became like this? He wants to get everything better between them. Two days later he will move to Hongkong, he got new job there with better salary. He wanted to stay in his parents house before he go away leaving them.
He rested his body in the sofa when suddenly some pictures on the table beside him get his attention. It was an old picture when they still young.
Yunho was fifteen and changmin is thirteen at that time. It was taken when their family tripped to beach on summer holiday eight years ago. His brother clutching at his arms like koala, they smiled happily together. Changmin used to be his baby brother, he cried when the storms came, he used running to yunho when sound of thunder booming in the rain.
Where did his baby brother go?
Yunho hold the tears not to running down his cheek and he smiled bitterly at the memories.
He walked to changmin’s room and knocked on the door. Changmin wasn’t coming out of his room, well he probably couldn’t hear him knocking on the door with his hard music playing.
“Changmin..?” He knocked again, he needs to talk with changmin to set everything right before he go. Finally after two minutes, yunho heard the music fade and changmin opened the door.
“What the fuck is all the knocking for!” He asked pissed off.
Yunho gulped as he heard another cursed words throwing at him. “Look, I really want to talk with you changmin”
Changmin narrowed his eyes at his brother and crossed his arms "What!"
“Changmin, I’m going away to Hongkong in two days and I don’t know when will i come back here, let’s make up. I don’t want to leave you on bad terms”
“For fuck sake! Is that what you want to say? Good! Now fuck off!” Changmin ready to slam the door but yunho hold him.
“Changmin.. i..i don’t understand, why you hate me so much? We’re an adults now changmin, if I did something hurts you please tell me. What did I’ve done? You hate me for years! And I never know the reason!”
“The reason..?” Changmin asked with mockery tone “The reason is because you always been the better me! The reason is because you always been superior in everything! The reason is because I never been anybody around here!”
Changmin shouted with fury, eyes red with tears ready to explode from his eyes. Yunho walked closer to his brother, he wanted to hug him. The threat of physical contact was enough to make changmin out of his efforts to control his emotions and he harshly smacked his brother’s hand away and pushing him back hard making his older brother almost fall to the ground. “Don’t,” he warned in an even tone, “Don’t you dare touch me”
Yunho didn’t answer him, he was having too much trouble controlling his breathing to speak. Changmin looked at yunho still full of anger and pain in his eyes.
“I don’t need your pity you asshole!” Changmin wiped his tears with the back of his hand. He hate his brother, and it seem it was the time in his life he felt so angry in his entire life until he need to let it out of him. “It was because of you! If only you didn’t exist, mom will love me! She will never compare me with you! I hope you die!” Changmin slammed the door hard.
Yunho doesn’t know how long he stand in the front door, he probably still standing there if it not because his mother.
“Yunho? When did you come? Why don’t you tell me if you want to come here?” His mother stared at him and for a moment she stared at changmin door “What are you doing in changmin’s room? Did you fight again with him?”
“Ah.. No..nothing happen mom.. I just.. want to talk with him but..but I forget what I want to talk to” yunho pushed to smiled.
“Really?” His mother narrowed his eyes suspiciously “You look so pale yunho, are you well?”
“I..i’m fine mother.. I just need to rest” and yunho left his mother.
Soon after yunho go to his room, his mother knocking on changmin’s door. There was something happened, as a mom, she just knew. “Changmin?” His youngest son didn’t answer. “ I know you hear me changmin..” The boy still didn’t say anything nor opened the door but she just continued “No matter how much you hate him, you’re going to be brother for the rest of your lives. Your brother love you changmin, if only you knew it.”
***
Changmin laid on his bed still finding it hard that he just fought with his brother. They fought a lot but this time is different. He can’t believe that he just asked his brother death!
Guilt washed over him as he lay on his bed, he would have to go apologize to his brother before he go
and hoped yunho would forgive him.
***
What is this? Something is wrong, something that changmin had no idea of
What?
What?
The room is so bright, he saw his parents stood beside the bed, “mom.. dad..what ha-“ the words died in his throat as he saw the body lying on the bed. Changmin stepped forward, mouth hanging open and tears can’t stop flowing from his eyes.
Yunho, his brother, lay there, bleeding all over the face. There was dried blood staining in his lips, his body.. burnt.
Oh my God..oh God
Changmin looked up at his father “What happened?”
His mother just cried and cried..
God..
God..
Tell me this just a dream, I just need to wake up
Changmin just think he will faint immediately, his body sweating, his body can’t stop shaking
His father looking pale, his face is grieved, he held his crying wife in his embrace.
“Changmin.. your brother,” he said slowly “…he’s dead, his car crashed when he went into the city today”
Changmin stared at him and shook his head “ No..it can’t be! It can’t be!”
He screamed in horror. Changmin kneeling beside the bed, he stared at his brother’s lifeless body. For years he wished his brother death and now the fate granted it for him.
“hyung..” he said holding his brother hand “I’m not serious, I really never want you to die, please wake up” But yunho made no sound or movement, he still closed his eyes.
“Please wake up, I don’t want you to died believing me hated you, I’m so sorry for everything hyung, I’m just jealous of you”
Nothing. Yunho is still not breathing. “Wake up hyung!” Changmin said more insistently.
Changmin looking up at his parents, tense, angry and fear. “Father tell him to wake up!” he growled. His father didn’t answer. Changmin looked at his mother helplessly. “Mom! He will listen to you! Tell him to wake up!”
She took a ragged breath and more tears spilled down her cheek. She walked towards changmin and held his head in her embrace. “Your brother.. love us so much”she said sadly “But right now, he can’t be with us anymore, let him go changmin. At least..” she paused her breath”He died happily knowing that you cared about him…that you love him” she wiped his tears.
Changmin closed his eyes and cried in agony “I’m sorry..” he murmured, gripping his brother’s hand “I’m sorry for hating you, I’m sorry for blaming you for everything..I’m sorry..i’m sorry”
***
The sound of alarm woke him up, changmin woke up in cold sweat. He looked around and relieved that he is in his bedroom. It’s almost six, the sun already shinning over and peaking through the curtain.
It’s a dream.. Oh god it just a dream
He pushed the blanket aside and walked to his brother room. He knocked on the door softly but there was no answer. When he opened the door, he was frowned when the room is empty, no bed, no chair, no clothes, is as if no one ever stay in this room.
What happen with this room? Did mother clean it? Did he already move to Hongkong?
“Changmin?” he heard his mother voice calling him “Are you awake? Come here I made you breakfast”
He walked to the kitchen where his mother calling him, his father reading newspaper like always.
“Mom.. did hyung already gone to Hongkong?”
Both of his parents change the stare at each other before they looked back at changmin. “Are you okay son?”
“W..what do you mean? I’m fine really” changmin is confused with the way his parents looking at him. “When did he go?” he asked, his eyes darting from his father to his mother. He took another bite of omelet and put it in his mouth.
“Honey who is “he” do you mean?” changmin nearly choked after heard his mother words.
“What..?” he asked disbelieve. “Mom it’s not funny! Of course I’m asking about my broher!”
“Honey you don’t have any brother nor sister, you’re our only child.” Changmin dropped his spoon, the sounds is loud enough and both of his parent looking at him worriedly. His face gone pale immediately, his body shivered.
“Mom..i’m your second son, I do have brother, his name is yunho” Changmin looks up, eyes widened “Mom..” He said desperately, he needs to know that it was just a cruel joke from their parents.
“Son,” his father says, his voice gentle “As your father I guarantee you that I don’t have any other son or daughter”
Changmin shook his head, he get up from his chair. His mom follow him from behind “Honey what are you doing” Changmin chooses to ignore her, turning on his feet and heading to the direction of the book shelves where his mother save the family albums portrait.
He picked up a picture “N-no it can’t be true..” his voice is lost in words. There is him, and his parents, but none of them have his brother picture.
His mother can see him scrambling to pick up the other photos that spilled from other album “No..no” Changmin burying his face in his hands “No..no it’s not real!” he says sounding as if he’d been assigned a reality worse than death.
“What’s going on here?” his father whispers to his mother.
“I don’t know, he still believe that he did have brother and now he searching his “brother” picture” Her eyes showing concerned for changmin who’s still sitting on the floor as if his entire life is coming to an end.
“I-i must be dreaming” whispers changmin, his voice breaking. "This has to be the God’s cruelest joke on me yet,"
Changmin catches the sight of himself in the mirror beside the shelves. He blinks in shock and steps out once again, moving closer to the full length looking glass. He runs one hand over his hair, it’s black-not dyed blond as he supposed to be. He staring at his lips and no piercing there, he realized that there was no tattoo in his right arm. He run his palm over his mouth .
It’s not him.. it can’t be him..
“Honey.. is everything okay?” his mom standing beside him. Changmin didn’t answer, he just nodded. Tears falling freely down his face, he turned his body and hugged his mother “Sshh it’s gonna be okay honey.. it’s gonna be okay”
***
The next day started out as normal. He started to accept that he is the only son that his parents proud of and he has no other siblings. He loved by his parents, his friends, by everyone. But something is missing. Something his believed for his never born brother.
Is it true that everything he remembered about his life when his brother around was just a dream?
But why..
Why he still can remember his face, his smile, his laughter.
It’s haunting him everyday.. everynight …
Years has passed, Changmin grown up as mature man. He finished his college, got job offered as manager and now lives separately from his parents. But the linger feeling of him having “brother” still stuck in heart. Something he knew it was there but now is gone.
And he still searches for him
~Fin~
Sorry i edited this story again .. i don't like the ending so i make a little changes