ick, ouch and bla,, bla,, bla.....
as i sit very still to avoid puking, i realize that its probably inevitable with the way the million thoughts in my head are jumping around and assisting in making me "woozy"....im not quite sure which thought is going to cause the end result,, at this point it could be any one of them, but someone's 'bound to win it.
physically sick, emotionally sick....it is what it is,, who knows, most likely both....i just want "it" to find someone its own size to pick on...apparently, its more than i can handle at this point.
Ive got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and a bad taste in my mouth....I dont know which taste is worse, the anger or the hurt. (someone pass me a toothbrush....i promise to scrub till it bleeds.)
Typically, im pretty optimistic and have the mind-set that behind every dark cloud there is sun fighting to break free.....,, (warmth cures you know) but lately im beginning to realize that the cloud over my head is officially attached. PERMANENT. I pray for the winds of "give me a damn break" to come and blow the cloud away, but nope. nada.
im gonna go take a big swig of goodbye and hope i can keep THAT down....
ha...this is last year's entry on today's date....it makes me laugh, apparently i was in a better place last year around this time (it sure brings back alot of memories-ae)
so,, the music never seems to stop. it grabs a spot in the grass in my head and never gets up....its almost too green.
so many steps forward,, someone screaming from behind. i see you ahead,, its not the same voice. stop. go. fast. slow.
my stomach knots up...the sound of your voice untangles me...,, as another emotion wraps in cirles...constricting my every breath. too familiar..., i smile from within. ha.
blank....,, yet SO full. i dont even have the want to sort it all out. ::shrugs::
and so it is.....
physically sick, emotionally sick....it is what it is,, who knows, most likely both....i just want "it" to find someone its own size to pick on...apparently, its more than i can handle at this point.
Ive got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and a bad taste in my mouth....I dont know which taste is worse, the anger or the hurt. (someone pass me a toothbrush....i promise to scrub till it bleeds.)
Typically, im pretty optimistic and have the mind-set that behind every dark cloud there is sun fighting to break free.....,, (warmth cures you know) but lately im beginning to realize that the cloud over my head is officially attached. PERMANENT. I pray for the winds of "give me a damn break" to come and blow the cloud away, but nope. nada.
im gonna go take a big swig of goodbye and hope i can keep THAT down....
ha...this is last year's entry on today's date....it makes me laugh, apparently i was in a better place last year around this time (it sure brings back alot of memories-ae)
so,, the music never seems to stop. it grabs a spot in the grass in my head and never gets up....its almost too green.
so many steps forward,, someone screaming from behind. i see you ahead,, its not the same voice. stop. go. fast. slow.
my stomach knots up...the sound of your voice untangles me...,, as another emotion wraps in cirles...constricting my every breath. too familiar..., i smile from within. ha.
blank....,, yet SO full. i dont even have the want to sort it all out. ::shrugs::
and so it is.....