(no subject)
4am.
i woke from a dream.
a horrible one.
my mother had died.
i couldn't find her.
no one had told me she had died.
I felt like her ghost was following me everywhere
but i couldn't see her
or talk to her
and i just started screaming and crying.
i woke up shaking and crying.
it was one of those dreams that you feel in your core
and you almost can't tell if it's subconcious or reality.
i haven't talked to my mom in a while
but i picked up my phone and called her.
crying that i had dreamt she had died.
i felt kind of stupid telling her
fearing that she would think i was selfish.
her father was shot when she was 16.
at least i still have my mother.
but i cried and cried.
i felt like a little child.
she didn't care.
actually i think she felt bad
and was happy that i had called her.