Your bottles' almost empty You know this can't go on
Oh my gosh. Lately things have been shit for me (figuratively speaking). My grade in math and art dropped from an A to a B which really pisses me off because I know I can do better. I think I am just getting too tired with all the things I have going on to even get my grades up. Plus the end of my junior year is creeping up on me like a hairy venomous spider. I hope I don't get too lazy for my senior year though because that is my most important year.
Yesterday, I was really getting pissed off at my mom (LINDA---The Monster) because she is a control feakis self centered bitch who doesn't give a damn about anyone but herself and what she wants. Man if you had the faintest idea what she was like you would be running away screaming. I think my patients for her are running very thin now. for the past 6 some years, ever since I moved back in with my dad, I have been trying to see if she really can change and to see if there really is hope for her. After what happened yesterday, I don't think there is. She was arguing with me on the phone about my vocabulary--which i obviously have a better one then her. Yeah, I called her a pessimist because she always thinks so negatively. She actually tried to tell me that that was coming form dad because dad was always the one to throw big words at her. Like that is really an insult. I am happy I am more like my dad then the monster. Its like she is telling me "Why can you be stupid and selfish like me?" Ha yeah right. I am really getting sick of her shenanigans and all her bull shit she brings to me every time i see her. I am her last link to the kids as what dad said, and I don't think I am going to be around her for very much longer. I think someday soon I am going to explode on her and make her realize I was only around her to make her believe I still cared for her. My love for her had ran to its last drop, and once that drop falls, there will be no more. Why should I love here anyways, she never contributed anything to Lili, Heather or my existence. She is just an egg donner according to Lilis words. She has no meaning. She will have no meaning. An you know, I think she really loves to act too. Because when we are at church and with other people she acts like the nicest person, but once we are in private all hell breaks lose. Damn, I wish I would have ran out of Patienceearlier so I wouldn't have to deal with all this shit going on in my head.
So, After that little episode... I went to Gulnaz's "Good-Bye" Party yesterday. She is going back to Her home country in Europe to finish school stuff. I wish she could have stayed longer I was just bearly getting to know her. Yes, its sad she is leaving, but its also kind of good to. Like its the right time for her to go because of family stuff and school. I told her I would write her every month, which I will. She is my favorite exchange student.
Summer is coming close woo! That means Creation Fest. I am so stoked!
Yesterday, I was really getting pissed off at my mom (LINDA---The Monster) because she is a control feakis self centered bitch who doesn't give a damn about anyone but herself and what she wants. Man if you had the faintest idea what she was like you would be running away screaming. I think my patients for her are running very thin now. for the past 6 some years, ever since I moved back in with my dad, I have been trying to see if she really can change and to see if there really is hope for her. After what happened yesterday, I don't think there is. She was arguing with me on the phone about my vocabulary--which i obviously have a better one then her. Yeah, I called her a pessimist because she always thinks so negatively. She actually tried to tell me that that was coming form dad because dad was always the one to throw big words at her. Like that is really an insult. I am happy I am more like my dad then the monster. Its like she is telling me "Why can you be stupid and selfish like me?" Ha yeah right. I am really getting sick of her shenanigans and all her bull shit she brings to me every time i see her. I am her last link to the kids as what dad said, and I don't think I am going to be around her for very much longer. I think someday soon I am going to explode on her and make her realize I was only around her to make her believe I still cared for her. My love for her had ran to its last drop, and once that drop falls, there will be no more. Why should I love here anyways, she never contributed anything to Lili, Heather or my existence. She is just an egg donner according to Lilis words. She has no meaning. She will have no meaning. An you know, I think she really loves to act too. Because when we are at church and with other people she acts like the nicest person, but once we are in private all hell breaks lose. Damn, I wish I would have ran out of Patienceearlier so I wouldn't have to deal with all this shit going on in my head.
So, After that little episode... I went to Gulnaz's "Good-Bye" Party yesterday. She is going back to Her home country in Europe to finish school stuff. I wish she could have stayed longer I was just bearly getting to know her. Yes, its sad she is leaving, but its also kind of good to. Like its the right time for her to go because of family stuff and school. I told her I would write her every month, which I will. She is my favorite exchange student.
Summer is coming close woo! That means Creation Fest. I am so stoked!