(no subject)
It's a cold September,its as cold as I can ever remember September being.The rain and the wind make it bearable,they remind me that Im alive.But the cold is unbearable,it feels like my mind and my thoughts have died,or been removed,or been taken.No longer close to me,no longer a part of me.
I feel torn apart,and I dont know the source,I feel blind and yet I am forced to see,I feel so much...I cant sort through the feelings and the hit me like a wave of stone,hard and intense.
I dont know where this is coming from,I...dont know where I am or what Im doing,I am covered in this skin that doensnt feel like mine.
God please,why is this thing in my head?
Why am i.here..or what?
I dont know,and typing this,helps what??
It helps me that I write,If I didnt write I wouldnt be able to exist anymore,at least not by how I define alive.
MY MMMIND IS A TANGLE OF THOUGHTS THAT I CANT...seee...hear...understand.
I,feel,like I died,I feel like I am not alive,I feel like I am slave to this world that I cant escape,that I...am not,or should not,or could not,or shall not.
Help me.
But I should help myself
But I cant.
Then you should stop praveen,stop thinking
But its what keeps me sane,my thoughts and my words
Is this sane,youre talking to yourself...
Youre insane and you know it,you dont have the ability to function as a normal human.
But I do,all I have to do is write it out and I feel human again.
And,how long does that last...
HERE YOU ARE AGAIN!
I know,but its all I can do...
STOP THINKING,STOP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND,ITS UNRAVELING WHAT LITTLE MIND YOU HAVE LEFT.STOP THE NIETCZHE,STOP THE KAFKA,STOP IT!
YOU CANT TAKE IT!
I cant take it,I need a break,I need a break from myself,from my questions and my answers.
I need to stop this or I wont...cant...be normal anymore.
I hope you understand
I do.
I feel torn apart,and I dont know the source,I feel blind and yet I am forced to see,I feel so much...I cant sort through the feelings and the hit me like a wave of stone,hard and intense.
I dont know where this is coming from,I...dont know where I am or what Im doing,I am covered in this skin that doensnt feel like mine.
God please,why is this thing in my head?
Why am i.here..or what?
I dont know,and typing this,helps what??
It helps me that I write,If I didnt write I wouldnt be able to exist anymore,at least not by how I define alive.
MY MMMIND IS A TANGLE OF THOUGHTS THAT I CANT...seee...hear...understand.
I,feel,like I died,I feel like I am not alive,I feel like I am slave to this world that I cant escape,that I...am not,or should not,or could not,or shall not.
Help me.
But I should help myself
But I cant.
Then you should stop praveen,stop thinking
But its what keeps me sane,my thoughts and my words
Is this sane,youre talking to yourself...
Youre insane and you know it,you dont have the ability to function as a normal human.
But I do,all I have to do is write it out and I feel human again.
And,how long does that last...
HERE YOU ARE AGAIN!
I know,but its all I can do...
STOP THINKING,STOP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND,ITS UNRAVELING WHAT LITTLE MIND YOU HAVE LEFT.STOP THE NIETCZHE,STOP THE KAFKA,STOP IT!
YOU CANT TAKE IT!
I cant take it,I need a break,I need a break from myself,from my questions and my answers.
I need to stop this or I wont...cant...be normal anymore.
I hope you understand
I do.