02
Okay so apparently it’s not a dream, I haven’t suffered a knock on the head or I’ve gone insane and I'm living out my delusions in some loony bin. This is it! you have me convinced, this is a spooky ass town, there are living dead and most brilliant of the lot is there are ghost children running around.
So like all sane people I give you my rules for surviving this mess. I’ve seen enough movies, played enough games and read too many comics to not know what I’m talking about so here’s my own personal top 10 of what to do should you fail to do the most intelligent thing you can do and run like hell.
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
2. If you find a town that looks deserted, it's probably that way for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
3. When approaching a room with a door that hasn't been opened in decades, and the knob begins to slowly turn back and forth on its own, back away! Do NOT ask loudly, "Who's there?"
4. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go it alone.
5. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
6. Unless you are in the company of Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and their talking dog, the creature/ghost coming at you is most likely REAL.
7. When confronted by the walking dead, aim for the head.
8. If you see a town that looks deserted except for children, do not try to "help" them - they will eat you.
9. If it seems as though you have just woken up from a horrible nightmare, chances are you are still in grave danger.
10. DON'T HAVE SEX!!!
And thanks to whoever stole my jacket, it was warm and toasty and I miss it. Please be returning it.
So like all sane people I give you my rules for surviving this mess. I’ve seen enough movies, played enough games and read too many comics to not know what I’m talking about so here’s my own personal top 10 of what to do should you fail to do the most intelligent thing you can do and run like hell.
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
2. If you find a town that looks deserted, it's probably that way for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
3. When approaching a room with a door that hasn't been opened in decades, and the knob begins to slowly turn back and forth on its own, back away! Do NOT ask loudly, "Who's there?"
4. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go it alone.
5. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
6. Unless you are in the company of Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and their talking dog, the creature/ghost coming at you is most likely REAL.
7. When confronted by the walking dead, aim for the head.
8. If you see a town that looks deserted except for children, do not try to "help" them - they will eat you.
9. If it seems as though you have just woken up from a horrible nightmare, chances are you are still in grave danger.
10. DON'T HAVE SEX!!!
And thanks to whoever stole my jacket, it was warm and toasty and I miss it. Please be returning it.