Trapped: Chapter 14
Title: Trapped
Pairings: Yoochun/Junsu, implied Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Drama, Humor, Angst
Warnings: Language, sexual content, suggested anxiety/panic disorder, mentioning of death (none of the main characters).
Length: 14/17
Summary: With his entire future planned out for him Yoochun has lead a predictable life until the day he met Junsu, a shut-in who hasn’t left his room for many years in a row. Throw in some excessively random colleagues, insane friend and growing forbidden feelings and all of a sudden Yoochun’s life seems to get more complicated than it has ever been.
Just teasing, I was totally just… fucking… teasing!
Yoochun sat in his old room in his uncle’s house, searching for an appropriate location for the wedding, that was now only three weeks away. He already knew the search would be futile. There just wasn't a palm tree beach location in Korea with hopping bunnies, white pigeons and a church. But Taeyeon had demanded he search for it anyway, which of course he did. For who was he to have his own opinion?
Denial, denial, denial~
He had hoped the job would distract him, maybe make him realize it was Taeyeon who he was supposed to be thinking about, but it didn’t work. On the contrary, with every wedding picture that came by it was not Taeyeon but Junsu he’d imagine standing there in a wedding dress, which was rather disturbing really.
Aish, this is not going to work. Frustrated, he shut all the internet pages and re-opened the search machine, contemplating what to type.
Slowly his mind went into space mode again, trailing towards the night sky. It wasn’t sprinkled with stars like it had been two days ago, but raining, like in his dreams; Junsu’s wet shirt clinching to his body like a second skin, hot steamy breath on his lips while he pressed in closer…
“Oh my god, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Yoochun cursed out loud as he rubbed over his now half-hard crotch. Annoyed with himself he clicked the search bar and typed: ‘how to get rid of unwanted sexual frustrations’.
He skipped past all the meditation and long-term therapies and went straight towards the direct solutions.
- Try to think of things that turn you off and combine them with the subject of your sexual desire. -
Hm, he thought, should be able to do that. Let’s see, what turns me off… a filthy gross obese truck driver with warts and serious a sweat problem. Now, combine it with… Yoochun clasped his hands over his face, furiously rubbing up and down to get rid of the mental images he had just created for himself. Definitely not that!
… what about… dirt! Yeah, that’d totally work, combine Junsu with a mud pool and just mess him up real well… and let him… roll around…
“What the hell, this is just making things worse,” he exclaimed indignantly and decided to change tactics and continue searching instead. He was obviously too much of a lost cause for this strategy. Let’s see, what do we have here… he opened a page with very clear advise on it:
- Have sex with yourself and make sure you give yourself a bl**dy good orgasm! -
Yoochun blinked. Well, it was worth a try right? He rolled his chair backwards a little and just when he pulled the fly of his zipper down Taeyeon walked in.
“I think I found a location, here look at this!” she said happily as she slammed a magazine down in front of him, not even realizing Yoochun’s rather wild attempt to hide what he was doing. “What do you think?”
“It’s… it’s lovely,” Yoochun replied quickly as he scooted his chair closer to his desk. “Stunning, now if you don’t mind…”
“Look, it even has a beach nearby. Maybe we could ask someone to move he church and… your phone is ringing.”
“My pho… oh yeah, just… wait a second.” Still praying Taeyeon hadn’t seen what he had been doing, he picked up his phone, the number unfamiliar. “Hello, Park Yooch…”
“Why the hell did you go around harassing my best friend you twisted pervert!”
“… ok, I’m confused, who is this I’m speaking to?” Yoochun blinked, Taeyeon glanced him slightly annoyed with the interruption before returning to her magazine. Well, at least he was no longer turned on.
“I’m HyukJae, and you are going down mister!”
“Well, HyukJae,” he said as he closed the still opened internet screen while eying Taeyeon carefully, “I’m very sorry but I think you’ve got the wrong number.”
“No I don’t, you went around kissing and groping Junsu two days ago. Don’t deny it, I know all about it!”
“You… I… what? … how?” He was a little too aware of Taeyeon’s presence, who was still unknowingly scimming through the magazine.
“He told me. Now explain yourself.”
“And what was it he told you exactly,” Yoochun frowned. It annoyed him that Junsu had decided to go to this guy instead of telling him directly what he felt. It hadn’t been that bad right? On the other hand, he had been all over him barely minutes after his emotional breakdown when he had been outside for the first time e in years. Yoochun’s eyes grew wide. He really was the worst friend ever.
“He told me… you kissed him and… all!”
“Yeah, got that part, I want to know about the harassm-“ he trailed of as he saw Taeyeon looking up at him curiously.
“Well he didn’t literally… but I could totally hear by the tone of his voice that you were touching him all over!”
“Ok, I’m going to hang up now and talk to Junsu in person if you don’t mind.” He saw Taeyeon frowning.
“Yes I do mind! You will not come anywhere ne…”
“Bye,” and he hung up the phone.
“Who’s Junsu?” Taeyeon asked.
“Just a friend of mine.” Yoochun suddenly had the bad feeling that Taeyeon hadn’t only heard his part of the conversation, but when he held his phone back to his ear, Junsu’s number now dialled, she returned to her magazine, seemingly still unaware.
“Hey.”
“Hey, may I ask you why HyukJae is calling me saying…” he looked at Taeyeon, “saying I… harassed you?”
To his pleasant surprise Taeyeon didn’t look up, too occupied with reading about the dangers of the sun to the skin.
“… I… don’t know?”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I swear I didn’t say anything like that! I just… told him what happened and… he gets his own ideas… are you mad at me?”
“No, I’m not mad,” Yoochun sighed, “just worried.”
“Oh, well, if that’s it, you don't have to worry! He’s probably just afraid that I’ll get hurt and…”
Yoochun was just about to interrupt Junsu’s rambling when Taeyeon did it for him. She ripped the phone out of his hands and hold it to her ear before he was able to stop her.
“Hello, is this Junsu?” she asked, her attitude completely changed all of a sudden. “Yes, I’m his fiancé, what I wonder is who you are!”
“Taeyeon, can you please give me back my phone,” Yoochun said as he tried to be gentle, but she refused.
“His friend, right, do you even believe it yourself with the amount of text messages you send to each other?!”
“Taeyeon! Give me back my…”
“Shut up, Park,” she snapped, “now listen Junsu, I… what? … You expect me to believe that…” Taeyeon looked very unconvinced and glared at Yoochun like she could see right through him. “Right, well if that’s the case I’m sure you wouldn’t mind for us to meet up. How about this Friday? You can’t? Well what about…”
“Ok that’s enough,” Yoochun snapped and pulled the phone out of her hand, causing her to cry out, displeased.
“Yah, you pushed me!”
“You still there?” He asked over the phone.
“… I am…”
He had expected Junsu’s voice to sound panicked, trembling maybe, but it was uncharacteristically icy. “You don’t have to come.”
“Yes he does!” Taeyeon cried and tried to take back the phone.
“No, he doesn’t,” Yoochun spat back, his voice so full of authority even Taeyeon was momentarily taken aback before starting to pout at him instead.
“That’s ok, I want to meet up with her,” Junsu said, his voice slightly more like his own.
“Are you… sure?” Yoochun knew he himself wasn’t.
“Yes, she obviously needs the reassurance,” some of the icyness was still there, or was he only imagining things? “You can come to the hospital’s lobby tonight. I’m pretty sure I can get it convince my therapists.”
“Ok, if you’re sure… we’ll be there,” Yoochun said, and before he had the time to say goodbye Junsu had already hung up the phone. Taeyeon looked up at him with teary eyes. “He says we can visit him tonight,” Yoochun sighed, and Taeyeon’s face changed immediately.
“Really?”
“Yes…” Yoochun felt like kicking something, mainly himself. But maybe it was better to get this over with as soon as possible. If he could only figure out what it was that he wanted to get over with.
---
Restlessly Junsu paced back and forth in the hospital’s entrance hall. Even after taking two extra pills to calm him, scolding Hyukjae thoroughly and discussing the matter with his therapist he still felt nervous as hell. What was he going to say? He knew he was a terrible liar, so telling Taeyeon straight out he had no interest in Yoochun could be problematic. Not that he was interested, of course not! … Oh hell, who was he kidding.
To calm his nerves he took out his phone and typed Hyukjae a simple ‘if I die from a heart attack it’s your fault!’ and send it.
It didn’t really help though. He knew now was the time to find out how serious Yoochun was about this wedding, and more importantly, how serious Yoochun was about him. The problem was, Junsu had no idea how he would react if it turned out Yoochun cared more about Taeyeon. Or even worse, what would happen if the man cared more about him. The thought alone made him bouncing hyper with nerves.
Just when he was about to call Hyukjae, simply to scold him some more, he saw Yoochun and a young woman walk inside. He felt something uncomfortable clench inside his stomach; she was so pretty.
He waved at Yoochun who, as soon as he had spotted him, smiled and walked towards him, the girl right behind him. He barely had the time to say a proper hello before Taeyeon intervened.
“Wanna go get something to drink?” she asked, making feel Junsu feel a little uneasy as she because she had fully directed her question at Yoochun.
“Sure,” Yoochun smiled. Junsu felt like pouting, or rather throwing a fit. Why was he smiling like that? Maybe he should have taken one more calming pill.
“So…” Yoochun started as they walked towards the canteen. “Junsu, this is my fiancé Taeyeon, Taeyeon this is my… friend Junsu,” he grinned a little stupidly, obviously just as uneasy as Junsu was. “I hope… you can get along well?” he eyed Taeyeon insecurely, almost like a puppy who was about to get beaten. Junsu felt his irritation grow, but was not really sure whom he was irritated with.
Taeyeon smiled coolly at Junsu before turning her attention towards a table.
Yoochun sat down first, Junsu on the safe opposite side of him, realizing all too well this wasn’t the best time to show too much affection. Curious, he looked up at Taeyeon, who seemed to be in deep thought for a while before she moved forward and promptly sat down in Yoochun’s lap. As if that wasn’t bad enough she finished the whole thing by wrapping her arms closely around Yoochun.
“So,” she said, a very pleased-with-herself smile on her face, “you’re my Yoochun-ah’s friend right? Why are you in the hospital? Are you sick?”
“Taeyeon, that’s a little too much,” Yoochun sounded calm but stern as he nudged Taeyeon off his lap onto the chair next to him, still too close. Junsu only realized his hand had become a fist when it started to hurt from clenching too tight. “That’s a little personal don’t you think?” Yoochun joked.
“I have a panic disorder,” Junsu said, completely ignoring Yoochun as he was obviously of no use anyway.
Whoa, this medication really is epic… he thought. A few weeks ago he wouldn’t even have thought about telling his closest friends what was wrong with him.
“Oh,” Taeyeon said, surprised, and for a moment looking sincerely interested. “So you’re like a retard?” and the moment was gone.
“Yah, Taeyeon,” Yoochun snapped, offended, before Junsu even had the chance.
“Yes, honey?” she smiled sweetly, resting her hand on his leg. “What? He is, isn’t he?” she looked back at Junsu, disapproval obvious in her tone.
Why did he get the feeling she knew more than she was supposed to all of a sudden. “I’m not,” Junsu said, his voice lacking emotions, a tone he had mastered by now as it was usually the tone he had used with his parents whenever they had so much as dared to speak to him, or to his brother whenever he tried to convince him of… don’t go there!
“You’re not?” Taeyeon eyed him empathetically, as if to say ‘oh look at the poor guy, doesn’t even realize how mentally disabled he is’.
“Nope,” Junsu said as he folded his hands together on top of the table, “my brother died because of me a few years ago and because of my twisted relationship with my parents I never had the ability to properly process it all. But I’m doing better now,” he smiled coolly at them. Taeyeon was just staring at him, taken aback, while Yoochun eyed him weirdly, almost offended. Well what did you expect me to do, he felt like shouting at him, and get that damn bitch to take her hands of you!
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Taeyeon whispered after a few seconds. “Were you guys close?”
“Not really,” Junsu said, now looking at his hands on the table rather than at anyone else. “He could do something I never could, and… you could say I was jealous because of that.”
“What was it?” Yoochun asked, his voice sounding just as out of it as his face looked. Junsu really had a difficult time reading his emotions, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Yoochun was feeling right now.
“When he was fourteen,” Junsu started hesitantly, for a moment unsure if he wanted to go there, but then deciding that at the moment he couldn’t care less. They wanted to know right? He might as well tell them. “When he was fourteen he told our parents he was attracted to a boy.” He was sure as hell going to regret this tomorrow. “Even though I found out at the same time, I never could tell them I had the same feelings. Even now I still can’t.”
He looked up at Yoochun, wanting to meet his eyes, longing to see the comfort in there. Even with Taeyeon close he just wanted Yoochun to smile at him warmly and tell him it didn’t matter to him. But Yoochun wasn’t looking at him, he was looking at the ground, obviously refusing to meet his eyes. Junsu swallowed, feeling slightly disgusted with himself as he looked back at Taeyeon, whose eyes were large like teacups.
“W-wait, are you… gay?”
“I suppose,” Junsu sighed, he felt extremely tired all of a sudden.
Junsu could practically hear her thinking out loud as she moved her gaze to Yoochun. “Did you… are you guys…?
Junsu looked at Yoochun, maybe for support, maybe waiting for a clear answer as well, but Yoochun still refused to look anywhere but at that damned spot on the floor.
“We didn’t,” while Junsu said it he realized something. He could tell Taeyeon… no… lie to her that he didn’t have feelings for Yoochun, that there never had been anything between them, maybe run off crying like a drama queen to top it, but where would it get him? If he was lucky, the two of them would just get married. If he was unfortunate, and his life so far seemed to lean towards that side, he would lose Yoochun permanently with that marriage. He might be annoying and in need of a royal kick in the butt right now, but there was no way that was going to happen.
“So are you guys like… in love, or what?” The disgust in Taeyeon’s voice was very clear.
“Hm, I don’t know about Yoochun,” Junsu said doubtfully, a strange kind of excitement running through his body as he stood up, “but…” he moved around the table and eyed Taeyeon’s hand on Yoochun’s legs disapprovingly. After ripping his eyes away from it he averted his gaze towards Yoochun’s face, who was still looking at the ground, and smiled a little. The wicked little Junsu inside his head hopped around and cheered at the thought of what he was about to do.
“But I know I like him as more than friends,” Junsu said. Yoochun looked up this time, his face a mixture of maybe a dozen different emotions. “And I said we didn’t,” he said sincerely as he placed his hand on Yoochun’s cheek. “But if it’s up to me, we will,” he whispered and at that moment didn’t give a shit about anyone’s reaction as he kissed Yoochun full on the lips.
A/N: The day after tomorrow I'll be flying to Barcelona filled with culture and sophisticatedness (= flailing over JYJ like my freaking life depends on it) so the next update'll might take a little longer. Hope you'll enjoy this one though ^^ Junsu hwaiting!!
A/N2: In case anyone wonders, yes I typed the exact same search terms as Yoochun did and the results are literally copy pasted from Yahoo xD Ah, the sweet subtlety of some people~