Another Wedding
Yeah. More friends getting married.
Yippie skip.
It occured to me at some point that I expected myself to feel a little different about it than I did. It was enjoyable, sat with friends and ate lunch at the reception. The ceremony was nice. Quick. Maybe 20 minutes I think. Not really important.
They've know each other for a while. The bride and groom I mean. Didn't date long though. Got engaged within six months. Two months into the relationship the bride was asking me how soon was too soon to get married... I told her to ask someone else.
Clearly these matters are not Darryl's strong suit.
Weddings over the last 7 years have been frequent and usually provoke some kind of question from within me. When or if I'll get married? Why aren't I married? Are any of the bridesmaids single? But not today. Wasn't thinking about much of that. This wasn't about me. Not even for a moment. They love each other, or at the very least believe that they do for this moment in time, and I was happy to be there to witness the event. Weddings are fun, but I am also secretly feeling rather confident on the inside, that I will never be a groom. Just not in the cards.
But then I begin to think of relationships. I look around in the crowd at some of the other couples there, some who's weddings I was present for. I see they they are still married. I wonder if they are happy. What kinds of arguments have they had?
So interesting to me, and always has been, that everyone defines each of their marriages so differently. Some are emotionally responsible enough to outlast the really ugly arguments that are sure to come with the most passionate of relationships. The higher the highs, the lower the lows unfortunately. Making it work with what is commonly called the "Love of Your Life" can be a rare accomplishment so we found out this week, as it was claimed by some random radio program that some random study done by some random group of whoever ... anyway; it was claimed that three out of four individuals are not married to the person they consider to be the love of their life.
75%.
I am not surprised.
I am not going to sit here and tell you why this makes sense to me. It's just not worth the effort. It's a long explanation, and nobody cares.
After the love of my life left me, I figured it would be just like the last love of my life and I would eventually get over it. Maybe. Maybe not. It's been over four years and I still can't see myself ever loving anyone as passionately as I loved her. That's not to say I won't love again. Or that I can't be happy without Elyse. It simply means that Elyse will probably be the only one to ever occupy that space in my life that I met when I was young, and loved without reserve. The youthful idea of passion. The Hollywood version of love. The heightened sense of everything.
The high Highs.
The low Lows.
The lows of which were ultimately too low for her to bear. In the modern world this is seen as self abuse. To withstand the low Lows in a relationship, married or not, is viewed by many as self-abuse, too hard, not worth it.
*******
Auto recovery ensues.
*******
(I have no idea when I wrote all of the above... but it never got posted. it must have been a while ago and was auto saved. So I'm going to leave it the way it is and move on.)
Yippie skip.
It occured to me at some point that I expected myself to feel a little different about it than I did. It was enjoyable, sat with friends and ate lunch at the reception. The ceremony was nice. Quick. Maybe 20 minutes I think. Not really important.
They've know each other for a while. The bride and groom I mean. Didn't date long though. Got engaged within six months. Two months into the relationship the bride was asking me how soon was too soon to get married... I told her to ask someone else.
Clearly these matters are not Darryl's strong suit.
Weddings over the last 7 years have been frequent and usually provoke some kind of question from within me. When or if I'll get married? Why aren't I married? Are any of the bridesmaids single? But not today. Wasn't thinking about much of that. This wasn't about me. Not even for a moment. They love each other, or at the very least believe that they do for this moment in time, and I was happy to be there to witness the event. Weddings are fun, but I am also secretly feeling rather confident on the inside, that I will never be a groom. Just not in the cards.
But then I begin to think of relationships. I look around in the crowd at some of the other couples there, some who's weddings I was present for. I see they they are still married. I wonder if they are happy. What kinds of arguments have they had?
So interesting to me, and always has been, that everyone defines each of their marriages so differently. Some are emotionally responsible enough to outlast the really ugly arguments that are sure to come with the most passionate of relationships. The higher the highs, the lower the lows unfortunately. Making it work with what is commonly called the "Love of Your Life" can be a rare accomplishment so we found out this week, as it was claimed by some random radio program that some random study done by some random group of whoever ... anyway; it was claimed that three out of four individuals are not married to the person they consider to be the love of their life.
75%.
I am not surprised.
I am not going to sit here and tell you why this makes sense to me. It's just not worth the effort. It's a long explanation, and nobody cares.
After the love of my life left me, I figured it would be just like the last love of my life and I would eventually get over it. Maybe. Maybe not. It's been over four years and I still can't see myself ever loving anyone as passionately as I loved her. That's not to say I won't love again. Or that I can't be happy without Elyse. It simply means that Elyse will probably be the only one to ever occupy that space in my life that I met when I was young, and loved without reserve. The youthful idea of passion. The Hollywood version of love. The heightened sense of everything.
The high Highs.
The low Lows.
The lows of which were ultimately too low for her to bear. In the modern world this is seen as self abuse. To withstand the low Lows in a relationship, married or not, is viewed by many as self-abuse, too hard, not worth it.
*******
Auto recovery ensues.
*******
(I have no idea when I wrote all of the above... but it never got posted. it must have been a while ago and was auto saved. So I'm going to leave it the way it is and move on.)