Hi guys
I feel like I've let you all down. I don't post in this thing nearly enough. It's not that I don't want to, I just find it hard to articulate what's going on in my life. In all honesty there's a lot that's the same but other things have changed drastically.
Zack moved out and next door because he needed some space and we got another roommate I work with named Cindy. She's a nice girl but she talks more than a parrot with just about as much sensibility. She's not a bad person, so please don't mistake what I say, but she's frustrating and kind of ditzy and I feel myself turning into my father every single time we talk. (My father was eternally frustrated by everyone around him when I was growing up, a product of being a man who sees simple ways to solve problems that apparently everyone else overlooks)
Anyway she's bringing a boyfriend back here this week and hopefully it'll give her a chance to...you know...not bother me for the week that he's here. That'll be nice. I can't handle all the words. She has to play-by-play getting glasses of water. I don't even think she's speaking to me in particular but she speaks AT me a lot and it gets annoying.
Jon took some stuff and had a really bad trip from it about a month ago. He was dumb and didn't tell me he was going to take anything, and it was new, and it screwed with his head, and I didnt KNOW he had taken anything. He was yelling he was in pain and I took him at his word and called zack over to look at him. We ended up taking him to the hospital in an ambulance and it was terrifying. I've banned all drug use in the house for now. Maybe forever. I don't know. I do know that I can't ever go through that again. I dont' think he understands how scared I was but he's at least been wise enough to not push the issue. He was pretty freaked out anyway.
Aside from that, Ive decided to make changes I've always wanted to make in the way I look and I"m not regretting that even a little. Ive dyed my hair pink and cut it short. I'm working on stretching my ear lobes to a few sizes bigger than they are now. I havent decided where i want to stop but yeah.
Also I've got my nipples pierced and I'm going to get some other piercings, probably labret, septum, eyebrow, and tongue. And also, Jon and I have decided to get a couples' tattoo soon. We've been together five years, and it'll be six in November and...we just want to commemorate that. So he's getting a bee and i'm getting a flower. I think he's as excited at the concept as I am. We spent all night last night looking through bee and flower tattoos. It's not a traditional couple's tattoo but we both think that's a good thing because getting names or whatever tattoo'd on you pretty much is a kiss of death to that relationship. This at least is kind of like we are. It's a tattoo of devotion but it's not an over the top and in your face declaration of true love forever. Even though that's precisely what it's going to symbolize.
Anyway so, We were laying in bed last night after all the tattoo looking, and he fell asleep and I just kind of looked over at him and had to kiss his forehead. He's changed physically in these five years (As have I) but I still love him. And I was kind of struck in that moment by just how -much- I love him. It was such a hard strike that it felt physical for a moment. I can't see my life without him. I'm truly blessed with him. I really am.
My mom's got a new preacher named BJ Wright and his wife Angela's the one who did my hair. She's very awesome, one of the few people in this world I can say I connect with, and it makes me super happy she's in this town. Her kids hang with Madison which is great, and She and BJ are a lot like jon and me. They love animals and fish in particular. They're fun, they're a load of laughs and she gets me. I don't know a lot of people in this world who get me. So I'm excited in some ways, especially that she doesn't/didn't take my standoffishness personally at first. IT takes me a while to be comfortable around people especially people who belong to an organized religion. It's not THEIR fault and I said as much as that. I have my hangups about christianity and the people who tend to choose that religion (or any religion really but that one in particular because my own personal anxieties stem so much from it) that it takes me a little bit to get over that prejudice.
Anyway that's pretty much what's going on right now. I'm so so sorry i dont write here much and I'll fully admit it might be a while before i do it again. But that's just because i'm a flighty person. >.>
Zack moved out and next door because he needed some space and we got another roommate I work with named Cindy. She's a nice girl but she talks more than a parrot with just about as much sensibility. She's not a bad person, so please don't mistake what I say, but she's frustrating and kind of ditzy and I feel myself turning into my father every single time we talk. (My father was eternally frustrated by everyone around him when I was growing up, a product of being a man who sees simple ways to solve problems that apparently everyone else overlooks)
Anyway she's bringing a boyfriend back here this week and hopefully it'll give her a chance to...you know...not bother me for the week that he's here. That'll be nice. I can't handle all the words. She has to play-by-play getting glasses of water. I don't even think she's speaking to me in particular but she speaks AT me a lot and it gets annoying.
Jon took some stuff and had a really bad trip from it about a month ago. He was dumb and didn't tell me he was going to take anything, and it was new, and it screwed with his head, and I didnt KNOW he had taken anything. He was yelling he was in pain and I took him at his word and called zack over to look at him. We ended up taking him to the hospital in an ambulance and it was terrifying. I've banned all drug use in the house for now. Maybe forever. I don't know. I do know that I can't ever go through that again. I dont' think he understands how scared I was but he's at least been wise enough to not push the issue. He was pretty freaked out anyway.
Aside from that, Ive decided to make changes I've always wanted to make in the way I look and I"m not regretting that even a little. Ive dyed my hair pink and cut it short. I'm working on stretching my ear lobes to a few sizes bigger than they are now. I havent decided where i want to stop but yeah.
Also I've got my nipples pierced and I'm going to get some other piercings, probably labret, septum, eyebrow, and tongue. And also, Jon and I have decided to get a couples' tattoo soon. We've been together five years, and it'll be six in November and...we just want to commemorate that. So he's getting a bee and i'm getting a flower. I think he's as excited at the concept as I am. We spent all night last night looking through bee and flower tattoos. It's not a traditional couple's tattoo but we both think that's a good thing because getting names or whatever tattoo'd on you pretty much is a kiss of death to that relationship. This at least is kind of like we are. It's a tattoo of devotion but it's not an over the top and in your face declaration of true love forever. Even though that's precisely what it's going to symbolize.
Anyway so, We were laying in bed last night after all the tattoo looking, and he fell asleep and I just kind of looked over at him and had to kiss his forehead. He's changed physically in these five years (As have I) but I still love him. And I was kind of struck in that moment by just how -much- I love him. It was such a hard strike that it felt physical for a moment. I can't see my life without him. I'm truly blessed with him. I really am.
My mom's got a new preacher named BJ Wright and his wife Angela's the one who did my hair. She's very awesome, one of the few people in this world I can say I connect with, and it makes me super happy she's in this town. Her kids hang with Madison which is great, and She and BJ are a lot like jon and me. They love animals and fish in particular. They're fun, they're a load of laughs and she gets me. I don't know a lot of people in this world who get me. So I'm excited in some ways, especially that she doesn't/didn't take my standoffishness personally at first. IT takes me a while to be comfortable around people especially people who belong to an organized religion. It's not THEIR fault and I said as much as that. I have my hangups about christianity and the people who tend to choose that religion (or any religion really but that one in particular because my own personal anxieties stem so much from it) that it takes me a little bit to get over that prejudice.
Anyway that's pretty much what's going on right now. I'm so so sorry i dont write here much and I'll fully admit it might be a while before i do it again. But that's just because i'm a flighty person. >.>