Jan 03, 2004 02:48
I don't know if anyone reads my comments excluding myself, but I just want to say what a great man my friend Mike McKisson is.
Mike picks you up when you are feeling down. Mike is a light from the heavens above. He knows what to say at all the right times. He is the man I wish I could be. Mike has never made a bad decision. He always has good advice. I can talk to him about guitars and equipment and he cares when i do. He is smart, funny, clever, suave, and cute as a button. He has freakin genious for a girlfriend. Mike would have probably taken the SATs for you if you asked him. Mike never judges me. Mike has seen me at my worst and at my best. He is the best guitar player i have ever seen. Mike takes more shit than anyone I know. Mike would pick me up off the curb, dust me off, and get me a hot meal if I needed him to. And that is exactly what he did.
I had a shitty New Years. Too many things on my mind to have a good time. I have been thinking that 2003 was such a bad year. I am convinced 2004 has got to be way better. So far, it hasn't. Drastic changes are going to be made to me. I want toget my friends in on it too, but i say these things every year, and nothing ever happens. But this year is different. It is the bottom of the barrel. I nearly flunked out of college. I've never been as broke as I am right now. I have never hated people for what they did any more than I have now. Things are going on that I am unaware of and I'm scared. Scared that terrible things are going to happen to the people I love and care about. They throw my care to the side and pretend nothing is wrong. This may be it for me with drugs this year. They are becoming boring. There are bascially two options to go with: 1.) Do different drugs. But I don't want to do different drugs. The alternatives are things that have led people down scary paths from which they never return, or if they do, they are never the same. So, with that said: 2.) Don't do drugs. This is looking like the best thing right now. Anothony Kiedas said that he didn't kick heroin, he just replaced it with something else. Right now, that seems to be the best option. I need something though to fill that void that will be there. Right now, I don't know what that is. And that scares me. It excites me as well, but scares me too. Right now, I know nothing and everything. Here are some examples:
I have a gig in less than a month, and we are not ready. Will we be ready? I hope so.
I am really really out of shape. Will I ever be in shape? I hope so.
I am so close to graduating, I can taste it. Will I graduate? I hope so.
I guess there is nothing else to do but hope