3493: It Takes A Village; It Takes Patience - Harry James Potter-Mc-Gonagall-Snape
Don't forget about Tropes Sue Week either. I'm looking for help finding entries for said week. I'm also looking for some feedback on this.
TITLE: It Takes A Village, and It Takes Patience
PERPETRATOR: Savoren
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
COVER/BANNER ART: The first cover is of Snape and Harry. The second is just of Harry. Both use clips from the movies, and the splash the titles over the clips.
SUMMARY:”This is a Severitus with a twist. Albus decides to remove Harry from the Dursely's guardianship and place him under the care of the Hogwarts staff. Warnings: OOC, AU, Corporal Punishment, Angst, Foul language, and Drug use, rape.”, and ”Sequel to It Takes A Village! Follow Harry James Potter-McGonagall-Snape as he enters his sixth year at Hogwarts. Trouble seems to follow him everywhere but he will quickly learn that his family will always have his back. Warnings: CP, AU, OOC, fluff, sexual relations, abusive relationship, angst, and death of a character. Pairings: Harry/Hermione and Ron/Seamus.”
FULL NAME: Harry James Potter-McGonagall-Snape.
SPECIES: A character the writer admits is an OC. Snape's his father, Albus is his grandfather, McGonagall his... do I really want to know?
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: The first chapter finds Snape confronting Harry. Apparently Harry's been smoking and drinking, and this earns him a lecture from the writer. I don't appreciate this original fiction novel mascaraing as a Harry Potter fanfic, because that is how the story is reading. I tried reading past the first chapter, but the fact the story reads so horribly like original fiction makes it so I can't. Thus I'm switching to the reviews. A review for chapter one reads, “This story is getting scattered. At the beginning of chapter 1, you state that Harry was not abused by his aunt and uncle, but his memories in the last chapter revealed abuse. […] A few chapters ago, Charles gives Severus and Minerva a list of punishments that they should use as opposed to corporal punishment, but here they are still smacking him. Who spanks a 15 year old, especially one that's been abused? [...] I do like the dynamic of the family that you have built in this story, but I would love to see a few chapters on Harry being grounded like a normal teenager and him struggling with it. He was grounded early on in the story, but then it was lifted for whatever reason. Maybe Harry losing his broom or being grounded to home once school starts would get through to him?”ORIGIN: “A/N: I hope you enjoy this story. I got tired of not having any more Severitus stories to read (seeing how all the writers randomly stopped) and so decided I was just going to start my own. […] A few notes that might help: Harry was not abused by his aunt and uncle. […] This is very OOC and will definitely contain corporal punishment - if this is a problem I advise you to not continue reading.”
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Dumbledore decides to take Harry out of the care of the Dursley family despite the fact he's not being abused by his aunt and uncle. The writer also admits that the characters are out of character, so in reality we have OCs mascaraing as canon characters. As soon as I went to check the reviews I found this for chapter nine.. “Thank you for your hard work and I have to say that your writing is a pleasure to read. However, I cannot read more of this story and this for two reasons. […] First: is Harry stupid? Seriously, at fifteen, I knew when to stop and how to go around to avoid punishment. Plus, his personnality doesn't really go along with the treatment he had at the Dursley's... […] Second: The punishment are way too hard. Grounded, isolated, obliged to do stupid chores and in front of the entire class: it's called humiliation. I feel really bad for Harry, seriously, it's like torture!
So once again, thank you for your beautiful writing but I think the story is unhealthy.. “ I found this one for chapter fourteen. “Okay, so I was really enjoying this story until now. […] I just cannot fathom the combination of the reactions of this Harry (who I absolutely loathe) with the reactions of a 7 year old. It has gotten too complicated.” A review for chapter thirty-five indicates mpreg.
NOTES: I typically expect a story to have earned the toxic rating when I see any mention of Severitus in the summary or author's notes. I think the reason many of the Severitus writers stop writing is because they either grow out of fanfiction, or they grow as writers.
I keep reading the warning regarding the characters being OoC and keep thinking what the writer is really saying is, “this story contains really bad writing because I don't care, and if this is a problem for you don't bother reading any further.” Perhaps though this is because of how bad the story actually is. I eventually stopped reading even the reviews because of how cringe worthy even those were.
Scratch that. I can't think of a Severitus fic which wasn't cringe worthy. I'm sure there is one which keeps the characters in character and uses good writing, but I've yet to come across one.
SAMPLE:
Drawing in a deep puff, Harry closed his eyes and focused on relaxing. Feeling the chilled wind against his cheek, Harry left out a relieved sigh. It's becoming harder and harder to get away from Hermione and Ron. They wouldn't understand his decisions.
Opening his eyes, Harry looked over the edge at the castle grounds below him. The Astronomy tower is the best place to get away with his bad habit. No one comes up here unless it is class hours.
Flicking the end of his joint, he watched with fascination as the wind took the hot ashes away. Picking the brown paper bag up from beside him, Harry took a long gulp of the liquid inside. As the illegal drink slid down his throat, he felt it heat and burn. Sighing in relief, he took another long gulp of the Firewhiskey before sitting it back on the edge.
Lifting his joint up to his mouth, he spotted the angry cuts on his hand.
I must not tell lies.
Voldemort is back and no one believes him!
Wincing, he looked back at the beautiful scene before him. No need to remember reality before absolutely necessary.
Closing his eyes, Harry felt the smoke drift out of his mouth. The thick scent cleared his senses.
Hearing footsteps come up the stairs, Harry quickly smashed the lit end against the stone and dropped the bud off the edge. Grabbing the bagged whiskey, Harry shoved it in his sweatshirt front pocket.
Sitting still, he hoped the visitors were just students looking for a place to have a quickie.
The small hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as he sensed a presence right behind him. Turning to see who his visitor was, Harry bit his lip with worry at the sight of Snape.
Snape was livid. No, he was beyond livid!
Harry couldn't help the shiver that went down his spine, "Can I help you, sir?"
"Dimwitted Gryffindor! Are you so dense that you cannot remember when you have lessons? I am giving you these lessons so you can protect yourself! I could be doing something way better than being stuck with you! Prodding your pointless, miserable memories! How dare you-" His rant was suddenly cut off when he sniffed the air. Giving Harry a curious look he asked, "Pray tell that is not what I think it is!"
Harry narrowed his eyes at him, "It's nothing, sir," his tone, dripping with attitude.
TITLE: It Takes A Village, and It Takes Patience
PERPETRATOR: Savoren
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
COVER/BANNER ART: The first cover is of Snape and Harry. The second is just of Harry. Both use clips from the movies, and the splash the titles over the clips.
SUMMARY:”This is a Severitus with a twist. Albus decides to remove Harry from the Dursely's guardianship and place him under the care of the Hogwarts staff. Warnings: OOC, AU, Corporal Punishment, Angst, Foul language, and Drug use, rape.”, and ”Sequel to It Takes A Village! Follow Harry James Potter-McGonagall-Snape as he enters his sixth year at Hogwarts. Trouble seems to follow him everywhere but he will quickly learn that his family will always have his back. Warnings: CP, AU, OOC, fluff, sexual relations, abusive relationship, angst, and death of a character. Pairings: Harry/Hermione and Ron/Seamus.”
FULL NAME: Harry James Potter-McGonagall-Snape.
SPECIES: A character the writer admits is an OC. Snape's his father, Albus is his grandfather, McGonagall his... do I really want to know?
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: The first chapter finds Snape confronting Harry. Apparently Harry's been smoking and drinking, and this earns him a lecture from the writer. I don't appreciate this original fiction novel mascaraing as a Harry Potter fanfic, because that is how the story is reading. I tried reading past the first chapter, but the fact the story reads so horribly like original fiction makes it so I can't. Thus I'm switching to the reviews. A review for chapter one reads, “This story is getting scattered. At the beginning of chapter 1, you state that Harry was not abused by his aunt and uncle, but his memories in the last chapter revealed abuse. […] A few chapters ago, Charles gives Severus and Minerva a list of punishments that they should use as opposed to corporal punishment, but here they are still smacking him. Who spanks a 15 year old, especially one that's been abused? [...] I do like the dynamic of the family that you have built in this story, but I would love to see a few chapters on Harry being grounded like a normal teenager and him struggling with it. He was grounded early on in the story, but then it was lifted for whatever reason. Maybe Harry losing his broom or being grounded to home once school starts would get through to him?”ORIGIN: “A/N: I hope you enjoy this story. I got tired of not having any more Severitus stories to read (seeing how all the writers randomly stopped) and so decided I was just going to start my own. […] A few notes that might help: Harry was not abused by his aunt and uncle. […] This is very OOC and will definitely contain corporal punishment - if this is a problem I advise you to not continue reading.”
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Dumbledore decides to take Harry out of the care of the Dursley family despite the fact he's not being abused by his aunt and uncle. The writer also admits that the characters are out of character, so in reality we have OCs mascaraing as canon characters. As soon as I went to check the reviews I found this for chapter nine.. “Thank you for your hard work and I have to say that your writing is a pleasure to read. However, I cannot read more of this story and this for two reasons. […] First: is Harry stupid? Seriously, at fifteen, I knew when to stop and how to go around to avoid punishment. Plus, his personnality doesn't really go along with the treatment he had at the Dursley's... […] Second: The punishment are way too hard. Grounded, isolated, obliged to do stupid chores and in front of the entire class: it's called humiliation. I feel really bad for Harry, seriously, it's like torture!
So once again, thank you for your beautiful writing but I think the story is unhealthy.. “ I found this one for chapter fourteen. “Okay, so I was really enjoying this story until now. […] I just cannot fathom the combination of the reactions of this Harry (who I absolutely loathe) with the reactions of a 7 year old. It has gotten too complicated.” A review for chapter thirty-five indicates mpreg.
NOTES: I typically expect a story to have earned the toxic rating when I see any mention of Severitus in the summary or author's notes. I think the reason many of the Severitus writers stop writing is because they either grow out of fanfiction, or they grow as writers.
I keep reading the warning regarding the characters being OoC and keep thinking what the writer is really saying is, “this story contains really bad writing because I don't care, and if this is a problem for you don't bother reading any further.” Perhaps though this is because of how bad the story actually is. I eventually stopped reading even the reviews because of how cringe worthy even those were.
Scratch that. I can't think of a Severitus fic which wasn't cringe worthy. I'm sure there is one which keeps the characters in character and uses good writing, but I've yet to come across one.
SAMPLE:
Drawing in a deep puff, Harry closed his eyes and focused on relaxing. Feeling the chilled wind against his cheek, Harry left out a relieved sigh. It's becoming harder and harder to get away from Hermione and Ron. They wouldn't understand his decisions.
Opening his eyes, Harry looked over the edge at the castle grounds below him. The Astronomy tower is the best place to get away with his bad habit. No one comes up here unless it is class hours.
Flicking the end of his joint, he watched with fascination as the wind took the hot ashes away. Picking the brown paper bag up from beside him, Harry took a long gulp of the liquid inside. As the illegal drink slid down his throat, he felt it heat and burn. Sighing in relief, he took another long gulp of the Firewhiskey before sitting it back on the edge.
Lifting his joint up to his mouth, he spotted the angry cuts on his hand.
I must not tell lies.
Voldemort is back and no one believes him!
Wincing, he looked back at the beautiful scene before him. No need to remember reality before absolutely necessary.
Closing his eyes, Harry felt the smoke drift out of his mouth. The thick scent cleared his senses.
Hearing footsteps come up the stairs, Harry quickly smashed the lit end against the stone and dropped the bud off the edge. Grabbing the bagged whiskey, Harry shoved it in his sweatshirt front pocket.
Sitting still, he hoped the visitors were just students looking for a place to have a quickie.
The small hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as he sensed a presence right behind him. Turning to see who his visitor was, Harry bit his lip with worry at the sight of Snape.
Snape was livid. No, he was beyond livid!
Harry couldn't help the shiver that went down his spine, "Can I help you, sir?"
"Dimwitted Gryffindor! Are you so dense that you cannot remember when you have lessons? I am giving you these lessons so you can protect yourself! I could be doing something way better than being stuck with you! Prodding your pointless, miserable memories! How dare you-" His rant was suddenly cut off when he sniffed the air. Giving Harry a curious look he asked, "Pray tell that is not what I think it is!"
Harry narrowed his eyes at him, "It's nothing, sir," his tone, dripping with attitude.