3433: In The Hands Of the Enemy - Voldemort
I'm making the decision to screen anonymous comments for awhile. I've said this over an over that writing an AU is not an excuse for a writer to do what ever they want with canon. If a writer doesn't give “a hoot about 'logic' in terms of consistency with canon” then the writer doesn't care about the quality of what they write. There is also a difference between defending a writer from criticism that isn't legit and brushing off a writer's mistakes.
Don't forget about Tropes Sue Week either. I'm looking for help finding entries for said week.
TITLE: In The Hands Of the Enemy
PERPETRATOR: InsomniackNixie
SUE-O-METER: Okay (This would have received the Good rating, but the grammar needs work and there are so far only four chapters so the good work the writer is doing could end up nixed in later chapters.
COVER/BANNER ART: It is a clip of the writer's avatar which is of a red oni.
SUMMARY:”Harry gets captured at the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. But Voldemort decides not to kill him. This is VERY AU. Albus is NOT a Light ally). This is SLASH. Don't like, don't read. Chan.”
FULL NAME: Voldemort
SPECIES: dark!Voldemort
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Harry was unable to escape and Voldemort decides to make Harry his slave. He decides to throw everyone off by having Lucius transfigure a dead animal to look like Harry. Eventually though Severus figures out through Sirius suggestion the body isn't real. (It smells like rabbit.) Draco on the other hand steps out of his comfort zone and asks about Harry's fate.
ORIGIN: The writer decided to take things on an alternate and darker route as of the graveyard.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: “I know this isn't canon but for my purposes the lifespan of wizards/witches will be 300-350yrs, that being the case the Founding of Hogwarts happened two thousand years ago instead of a thousand. Dumbledore is 296 and still spry. Aging in my fic is human normal until a person reaches twenty, when aging slows dramatically so someone who is 80-100yrs can look like a 30-35yr old(who wants to spend well over a hundred years in an OLD feeling body?)” Also, says Sirius, “It turns out that the caster of the Fidelius Charm must know who the Secret-Keeper is to cast the spell and they MUST BE PRESENT AT THE CASTING to have the secret sealed to them.” (Wouldn't James or Lily work?) At least the writer is trying to make Dumbledore a believable dark!Dumbledore, and they're aware of the problems with making Dumbledore part of the dark side. “"Did you know he came and asked Mum to encourage Ron to talk to Harry and try to make friends and emphasize how awful Slytherins were? I don't think he expected Mum to take to him as she has though."
NOTES: I personally think the reason for this writer saying “don't like, don't read” is because they don't want to deal with - what exactly do you call a slash hater other then slash hater that isn't long? Under normal circumstances I wouldn't feature this story on Pottersues, but said story was on my list for “Don't Like, Don't Read”. The summary and plot also screams the writer is going to butcher the canon, but in reality the writer puts a great deal of effort into working with canon to make their story work.
I've also had an anon trying to argue that anything can go in an AU which justifies letting anything slide. InsomniackNixie's story is why I personally can't let that slide as an excuse for bad writing. There are many things they want to do with their story that many of the writer's featured here try doing with their stories. InsomniackNixie though doesn't throw away characterization, and each decision they make seems to be there for a specific and well thought out reason. (I'm not sure about the aging issue at this point in time as there are only four chapters so far.)
The only problem I see with this story is the grammar. I kind of found myself rooting for the pairing between Harry and Voldemort to be one-sided, and then for Harry to end up with someone like Draco. I'm hoping they don't cross the MA rating because it would be a major shame for this one to disappear.
SAMPLE:
Harry and Voldemort's wand's connection was broken, but instead of Harry being able to run the power between the brother wands had increased to the point that both he and Voldemort were thrown, violently, apart. Voldemort to land on some of his fawning Death Eaters and Harry to crash sickeningly into a headstone, then slump bonelessly to the ground as his world turned black. The golden cage, as well as the ghosts, wavered and disappeared into moonlight.
Nagini started toward the small wizard, intending to remove his threat to her master once and for all.
~Stop Nagini.~ Voldemort commanded as he climbed to his feet, brushing himself off. ~I find I don't wish him dead just yet, my familiar.~ He strode stiffly over to the unconscious young wizard. ~I believe I can yet find a use for him.~ He hissed to Nagini, then switched languages to be understood by his Death Eaters, "Find a small animal and bring it to me."
"Yes, my Lord." They bowed and quickly scattered to obey him.
Voldemort lowered himself stiffly to one knee then gathered the small, still form of the supposed saviour of the Wizarding world into his arms. Looking at him closely with his eyes and magical senses, seeing him as he was as well as what he might, one day, be. The boy's magical potential was astounding, but his aura was still blurry, unfocused as if there was still a great change to come. He thought a moment then whispered, "Ligelimens." Disorientation struck him for the briefest of moments, before he began carefully looking through Harry's memories, grimly seeing the abuse, both physical and mental, at the hands of the 'relatives' that Albus Dumbledore had left the baby Harry with. Abuse that had steadily gotten worse since Harry had first gone to Hogwarts, and that few had taken note of. The ones who had noticed seemed to be turning a blind eye, with the exception of the Weasley's and the Granger girl sending food and the Weasley's trying to invite him to stay with them, even they seemed to believe this untenable situation was for 'his own good'.
Through all of Harry's life was an almost overwhelming need for someone to love and protect him. As the boy had reached his teens, naturally his hormones had affected his dreams along with the stories of his dorm-mates sexual antics with both males and females, his dreams had, unsurprisingly, turned semi-erotic, sometimes him awkardly protecting a girl, but most often him being protected by strong arms and a hard muscled body with caring hands.
As he pulled out of Harry's mind he heard the distant sounds of his followers returning. While he waited he thought back on what he had seen in Harry's memories, 'There must be a way I can use this to my advantage.' The Dark Lord thought while he waited, a smirk spreading across his serpentine face. 'Yes, this will do nicely.' He turned as his Death Eaters returned to the graveyard to see their master holding Harry Potter in his arms watching them expectantly.
One of the cloaked figures stepped forward holding a struggling rabbit. "Good Lucius, kill it."
"As you wish my Lord." Firmly grasping the frantic animal he snapped it's neck and lay the still twitching body at Voldemort's feet. With a languid wave of his wand Voldemort transfigured the dead rabbit into a perfect likeness of Harry Potter, then checked to see if it would pass all of the usual Auror tests to confirm that it was The-Boy-Who-Lived's body. Finally satisfied he waved to the two bodies. "Send them back to the maze."
He watched with a silent smirk as the Diggory boy's hand was placed on the Goblet, when 'Harry's' hand touched the other boy's he activated the port-key and the bodies were sent back to the center of the Triwizard maze. "Lucius, you will have the goblins of Gringotts audit ALL of the Potter vaults throughly, and discreetly. You will also see to it that the Potter vaults are not touched by anyone. Is that clear?" Voldemort's tone was menacing.
"As you command, my Lord." Lucius murmured smoothly.
"Is the Manor ready for me?" He enquired sharply of Wormtail.
"Yes, Lord. All at Slytherin Manor is as you have ordered." Squeeked his trembling servant.
"Then you will be there at 5:00 in the afternoon one week from today." He dismissed Wormtail with a look. "Lucius, inform Severus that I wish to see him at 10:30 tomorrow morning. DO NOT tell him why, or of tonight's events, just that you both are to be ON TIME." Voldemort commanded. ~Nagini.~ He called to her, knowing she would understand his wishes as his human servants did not, and felt the cool touch of her head to the back of his hand. To murmurs of, "yes, master." The Dark Lord apparated away with Harry Potter and his faithful familiar.
Don't forget about Tropes Sue Week either. I'm looking for help finding entries for said week.
TITLE: In The Hands Of the Enemy
PERPETRATOR: InsomniackNixie
SUE-O-METER: Okay (This would have received the Good rating, but the grammar needs work and there are so far only four chapters so the good work the writer is doing could end up nixed in later chapters.
COVER/BANNER ART: It is a clip of the writer's avatar which is of a red oni.
SUMMARY:”Harry gets captured at the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. But Voldemort decides not to kill him. This is VERY AU. Albus is NOT a Light ally). This is SLASH. Don't like, don't read. Chan.”
FULL NAME: Voldemort
SPECIES: dark!Voldemort
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Harry was unable to escape and Voldemort decides to make Harry his slave. He decides to throw everyone off by having Lucius transfigure a dead animal to look like Harry. Eventually though Severus figures out through Sirius suggestion the body isn't real. (It smells like rabbit.) Draco on the other hand steps out of his comfort zone and asks about Harry's fate.
ORIGIN: The writer decided to take things on an alternate and darker route as of the graveyard.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: “I know this isn't canon but for my purposes the lifespan of wizards/witches will be 300-350yrs, that being the case the Founding of Hogwarts happened two thousand years ago instead of a thousand. Dumbledore is 296 and still spry. Aging in my fic is human normal until a person reaches twenty, when aging slows dramatically so someone who is 80-100yrs can look like a 30-35yr old(who wants to spend well over a hundred years in an OLD feeling body?)” Also, says Sirius, “It turns out that the caster of the Fidelius Charm must know who the Secret-Keeper is to cast the spell and they MUST BE PRESENT AT THE CASTING to have the secret sealed to them.” (Wouldn't James or Lily work?) At least the writer is trying to make Dumbledore a believable dark!Dumbledore, and they're aware of the problems with making Dumbledore part of the dark side. “"Did you know he came and asked Mum to encourage Ron to talk to Harry and try to make friends and emphasize how awful Slytherins were? I don't think he expected Mum to take to him as she has though."
NOTES: I personally think the reason for this writer saying “don't like, don't read” is because they don't want to deal with - what exactly do you call a slash hater other then slash hater that isn't long? Under normal circumstances I wouldn't feature this story on Pottersues, but said story was on my list for “Don't Like, Don't Read”. The summary and plot also screams the writer is going to butcher the canon, but in reality the writer puts a great deal of effort into working with canon to make their story work.
I've also had an anon trying to argue that anything can go in an AU which justifies letting anything slide. InsomniackNixie's story is why I personally can't let that slide as an excuse for bad writing. There are many things they want to do with their story that many of the writer's featured here try doing with their stories. InsomniackNixie though doesn't throw away characterization, and each decision they make seems to be there for a specific and well thought out reason. (I'm not sure about the aging issue at this point in time as there are only four chapters so far.)
The only problem I see with this story is the grammar. I kind of found myself rooting for the pairing between Harry and Voldemort to be one-sided, and then for Harry to end up with someone like Draco. I'm hoping they don't cross the MA rating because it would be a major shame for this one to disappear.
SAMPLE:
Harry and Voldemort's wand's connection was broken, but instead of Harry being able to run the power between the brother wands had increased to the point that both he and Voldemort were thrown, violently, apart. Voldemort to land on some of his fawning Death Eaters and Harry to crash sickeningly into a headstone, then slump bonelessly to the ground as his world turned black. The golden cage, as well as the ghosts, wavered and disappeared into moonlight.
Nagini started toward the small wizard, intending to remove his threat to her master once and for all.
~Stop Nagini.~ Voldemort commanded as he climbed to his feet, brushing himself off. ~I find I don't wish him dead just yet, my familiar.~ He strode stiffly over to the unconscious young wizard. ~I believe I can yet find a use for him.~ He hissed to Nagini, then switched languages to be understood by his Death Eaters, "Find a small animal and bring it to me."
"Yes, my Lord." They bowed and quickly scattered to obey him.
Voldemort lowered himself stiffly to one knee then gathered the small, still form of the supposed saviour of the Wizarding world into his arms. Looking at him closely with his eyes and magical senses, seeing him as he was as well as what he might, one day, be. The boy's magical potential was astounding, but his aura was still blurry, unfocused as if there was still a great change to come. He thought a moment then whispered, "Ligelimens." Disorientation struck him for the briefest of moments, before he began carefully looking through Harry's memories, grimly seeing the abuse, both physical and mental, at the hands of the 'relatives' that Albus Dumbledore had left the baby Harry with. Abuse that had steadily gotten worse since Harry had first gone to Hogwarts, and that few had taken note of. The ones who had noticed seemed to be turning a blind eye, with the exception of the Weasley's and the Granger girl sending food and the Weasley's trying to invite him to stay with them, even they seemed to believe this untenable situation was for 'his own good'.
Through all of Harry's life was an almost overwhelming need for someone to love and protect him. As the boy had reached his teens, naturally his hormones had affected his dreams along with the stories of his dorm-mates sexual antics with both males and females, his dreams had, unsurprisingly, turned semi-erotic, sometimes him awkardly protecting a girl, but most often him being protected by strong arms and a hard muscled body with caring hands.
As he pulled out of Harry's mind he heard the distant sounds of his followers returning. While he waited he thought back on what he had seen in Harry's memories, 'There must be a way I can use this to my advantage.' The Dark Lord thought while he waited, a smirk spreading across his serpentine face. 'Yes, this will do nicely.' He turned as his Death Eaters returned to the graveyard to see their master holding Harry Potter in his arms watching them expectantly.
One of the cloaked figures stepped forward holding a struggling rabbit. "Good Lucius, kill it."
"As you wish my Lord." Firmly grasping the frantic animal he snapped it's neck and lay the still twitching body at Voldemort's feet. With a languid wave of his wand Voldemort transfigured the dead rabbit into a perfect likeness of Harry Potter, then checked to see if it would pass all of the usual Auror tests to confirm that it was The-Boy-Who-Lived's body. Finally satisfied he waved to the two bodies. "Send them back to the maze."
He watched with a silent smirk as the Diggory boy's hand was placed on the Goblet, when 'Harry's' hand touched the other boy's he activated the port-key and the bodies were sent back to the center of the Triwizard maze. "Lucius, you will have the goblins of Gringotts audit ALL of the Potter vaults throughly, and discreetly. You will also see to it that the Potter vaults are not touched by anyone. Is that clear?" Voldemort's tone was menacing.
"As you command, my Lord." Lucius murmured smoothly.
"Is the Manor ready for me?" He enquired sharply of Wormtail.
"Yes, Lord. All at Slytherin Manor is as you have ordered." Squeeked his trembling servant.
"Then you will be there at 5:00 in the afternoon one week from today." He dismissed Wormtail with a look. "Lucius, inform Severus that I wish to see him at 10:30 tomorrow morning. DO NOT tell him why, or of tonight's events, just that you both are to be ON TIME." Voldemort commanded. ~Nagini.~ He called to her, knowing she would understand his wishes as his human servants did not, and felt the cool touch of her head to the back of his hand. To murmurs of, "yes, master." The Dark Lord apparated away with Harry Potter and his faithful familiar.