3364: Time's Flower Petals I-The Story of the Cherry Blossom - see sample
The link of the day tone wise is very nasty. Flashback Sue is a creature called the farcy.
TITLE: Time's Flower Petals I-The Story of the Cherry Blossom
PERPETRATOR: Anime Rocker xD
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
COVER/BANNER ART: It is a picture of Sakura with long hair and an Anime style Tom Voldemort.
SUMMARY:”Tom Riddle's life is all and nice when you rule above the whole Slytherin house,but what happen when a pink haired shinobi come from her little world and turn his life upside down?Join me and Sakura in Time's Flower Petals,the first book of the series. The summary sucks but just give a chance Tom/Saku(WARNING:rare pairing) Saku-centric”
FULL NAME: Morgana Yuki Dumbledore nee Raven, Konan Ariana Senju nee Dumbledore, Sakura
SPECIES: Morgana is Dumbledore's wife. Konan is their daughter.
HAIR: n/a … well, pink for those who don't know the Naruto fandom.
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Sakura is hired and thinks it is “a sick,twisted joke?” She shows up at Grimwald place.
ORIGIN: The first chapter opens up with him hiring a ninja from Naruto's village. He says, “I want to hire a ninja to protect my school from a Dark Wizard. Please reconsider my offer.” I think that Harry Potter's world and the world of Shinobi are supposed to be two different Sakura randomly encountered magic as a child. Sakura is Dumbledore's long lost daughter. I was suspecting this but... well... the writer puts this into an author's note. “When do you think Sakura will find out that she is Dumbledore's long lost granddaughter?
SPECIAL ABILITIES: “[Dumbledore],like always,smelled the danger coming near his beloved school...” (I think the writer meant sensed.) “...his wife was both witch and a powerful ninja.” He is loyal to his wife's village.
NOTES: The first thing that stood out to me was the title and how it is supposed to be the first in a series. The second thing that stood out was that the summary starts off with Voldemort's real name indicating that someone was trying to pair him up with someone again. The second thing I noticed was the rare pairing warning. I then noticed the rest of the summary.
The writer claims on their profile that they like to read and write rare pairings. I think it's more along the lines they're using Sakura as a Possession Sue. I'm not sure what this whole “rare pairing hunter” business is supposed to be about. The writer says they write in a notebook so they can edit their stories later on.
You know... instead of focusing on writing rare pairings I think the writer should instead be focusing on her writing. The grammar is awful to the point it is awful to read. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that this writer isn't old enough to have an account. Anyways... couldn't read past the third chapter and decided to see if I couldn't glean things with reviews. I think time travel is involved, but can't be sure.
Oh...
… if you're going to post a story online make sure it is something people can read with ease. I'm cringing still because of how bad the grammar is.
SAMPLE:
ooOoo
In Konohagakure no Sato,the ninja village where civillains lived happy together with ninjas,knowing that they would protect them,the capital of the Land of Fire,a weird and unusual fire bird flew to Hokage's tower. The children watched in amusement as the bird flew and sang the most beautiful songs as it made his way to Tsunade-hime's office.
"What the hell is that bird?"Then the hokage saw a note attached to it's leg. She unfolded it and read it loud. As she read,her face expression changed,along with Shizune,who held TonTon.
"A wizard?Are you sure that is not a scam or a sick,twisted joke?"
"It's not a scam. When I was a child,I usually found my grandfather,Hashirama Senju,meeting him. While he showed my grandfather wand tricks and spells,my grandfather showed him our ninja techniques,like Bunshin or Henge."She chuckled amused."Please send me Sakura for this mission,Shizune."
"Hai!"She rushed to door but Tsunade called her again.
"And bring me some Sake!"Shizune sweatdropped and Tsunade sighed as her assistant and companion left to find the pinkette.
ooOOoo
Sakura Senju,sat breathing hard on her bed in her hot-pink bedroom. She just got back from a mission she had with Ibiki Morino,known as the most sadist in the village. He was her sensei since she was 12 years old. She had Kakasi a her father figure, Naruto was her brother figure,and the Akatsuki were like her family. She lost her parents years ago,they being killed by an unknown masked man. Her memories still haunts her like she was the reason of their death.
- Flashback-
A six years old pinkette played with her favourite doll and her fluffy teddy bear at night. It was raining. Of course,in Ame always rained,and she usually played in rain,even if she was teased for her huge wide forehead,she still had friends to love her. She was playing happy until she heard a scream in the kitchen. She got up and went downstairs,to find her mom and dad lying in a pool of blood,and a masked man grinning madly,before he shouted "AVADA KADEVRA!''But nothing happened. The man disappeared with only half of power left. He disappeared and used the last power to try and kill the other thunderbolt shaped child,but again,failing miserably and losing his body.
Sakura remained crying on the floor over her parent's dead bodies,not noticing that her ability to talk with snakes increased and a thunderbolt scar appeared on her forehead.
-End Flashback-
TITLE: Time's Flower Petals I-The Story of the Cherry Blossom
PERPETRATOR: Anime Rocker xD
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
COVER/BANNER ART: It is a picture of Sakura with long hair and an Anime style Tom Voldemort.
SUMMARY:”Tom Riddle's life is all and nice when you rule above the whole Slytherin house,but what happen when a pink haired shinobi come from her little world and turn his life upside down?Join me and Sakura in Time's Flower Petals,the first book of the series. The summary sucks but just give a chance Tom/Saku(WARNING:rare pairing) Saku-centric”
FULL NAME: Morgana Yuki Dumbledore nee Raven, Konan Ariana Senju nee Dumbledore, Sakura
SPECIES: Morgana is Dumbledore's wife. Konan is their daughter.
HAIR: n/a … well, pink for those who don't know the Naruto fandom.
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Sakura is hired and thinks it is “a sick,twisted joke?” She shows up at Grimwald place.
ORIGIN: The first chapter opens up with him hiring a ninja from Naruto's village. He says, “I want to hire a ninja to protect my school from a Dark Wizard. Please reconsider my offer.” I think that Harry Potter's world and the world of Shinobi are supposed to be two different Sakura randomly encountered magic as a child. Sakura is Dumbledore's long lost daughter. I was suspecting this but... well... the writer puts this into an author's note. “When do you think Sakura will find out that she is Dumbledore's long lost granddaughter?
SPECIAL ABILITIES: “[Dumbledore],like always,smelled the danger coming near his beloved school...” (I think the writer meant sensed.) “...his wife was both witch and a powerful ninja.” He is loyal to his wife's village.
NOTES: The first thing that stood out to me was the title and how it is supposed to be the first in a series. The second thing that stood out was that the summary starts off with Voldemort's real name indicating that someone was trying to pair him up with someone again. The second thing I noticed was the rare pairing warning. I then noticed the rest of the summary.
The writer claims on their profile that they like to read and write rare pairings. I think it's more along the lines they're using Sakura as a Possession Sue. I'm not sure what this whole “rare pairing hunter” business is supposed to be about. The writer says they write in a notebook so they can edit their stories later on.
You know... instead of focusing on writing rare pairings I think the writer should instead be focusing on her writing. The grammar is awful to the point it is awful to read. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that this writer isn't old enough to have an account. Anyways... couldn't read past the third chapter and decided to see if I couldn't glean things with reviews. I think time travel is involved, but can't be sure.
Oh...
… if you're going to post a story online make sure it is something people can read with ease. I'm cringing still because of how bad the grammar is.
SAMPLE:
ooOoo
In Konohagakure no Sato,the ninja village where civillains lived happy together with ninjas,knowing that they would protect them,the capital of the Land of Fire,a weird and unusual fire bird flew to Hokage's tower. The children watched in amusement as the bird flew and sang the most beautiful songs as it made his way to Tsunade-hime's office.
"What the hell is that bird?"Then the hokage saw a note attached to it's leg. She unfolded it and read it loud. As she read,her face expression changed,along with Shizune,who held TonTon.
"A wizard?Are you sure that is not a scam or a sick,twisted joke?"
"It's not a scam. When I was a child,I usually found my grandfather,Hashirama Senju,meeting him. While he showed my grandfather wand tricks and spells,my grandfather showed him our ninja techniques,like Bunshin or Henge."She chuckled amused."Please send me Sakura for this mission,Shizune."
"Hai!"She rushed to door but Tsunade called her again.
"And bring me some Sake!"Shizune sweatdropped and Tsunade sighed as her assistant and companion left to find the pinkette.
ooOOoo
Sakura Senju,sat breathing hard on her bed in her hot-pink bedroom. She just got back from a mission she had with Ibiki Morino,known as the most sadist in the village. He was her sensei since she was 12 years old. She had Kakasi a her father figure, Naruto was her brother figure,and the Akatsuki were like her family. She lost her parents years ago,they being killed by an unknown masked man. Her memories still haunts her like she was the reason of their death.
- Flashback-
A six years old pinkette played with her favourite doll and her fluffy teddy bear at night. It was raining. Of course,in Ame always rained,and she usually played in rain,even if she was teased for her huge wide forehead,she still had friends to love her. She was playing happy until she heard a scream in the kitchen. She got up and went downstairs,to find her mom and dad lying in a pool of blood,and a masked man grinning madly,before he shouted "AVADA KADEVRA!''But nothing happened. The man disappeared with only half of power left. He disappeared and used the last power to try and kill the other thunderbolt shaped child,but again,failing miserably and losing his body.
Sakura remained crying on the floor over her parent's dead bodies,not noticing that her ability to talk with snakes increased and a thunderbolt scar appeared on her forehead.
-End Flashback-