3316: Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles - Harry and company
Thanks to for sending this one in.
- fanfic contest
- For the link of the day I give you the list of books this writer pretty much claims doesn't exist.
- Flashback Sue
TITLE: Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles )
PERPETRATOR: proudhousewife
SUE-O-METER:
(troll)
COVER/BANNER ART: none
SUMMARY:”Do you want your little ones to read books; and they want to read the Harry Potter Books; but you do not want them to turn into witches? Well-this is the story for you! This story has all the adventure of JKR's books; but will not lead your children astray. For concerned mommies everywhere! Blessings! Grace Ann”
FULL NAME: Hagrid, Harry
SPECIES: (…)
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: Hagrid comes to the door as if he was one of those door-to-door preachers. Petunia speaks about evolution and Hagrid pretty much kidnaps her nephew to indoctrinate Harry into this fake cult. Except in this story “magic” is the power of the Christian religion that allows them to transport places. So... did Hagrid get Harry to commit suicide instead. Manna show up... and I think that is as far as I'll go with them.
ORIGIN: The writer claims, “I may not be a professional writer; but I think I am being given the talent to pull this off in service of a greater mission =)” Yeah... right.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: If the writer is serious they really don't understand the implications they are making, some of which go against many Christian denominations way of thinking. However... if the writer is being satirical on purpose...
NOTES: The patronizing attitude is the most annoying thing about all of this. I don't think adult women enjoy a grown woman calling them “mommies” instead of “mothers” and this progresses to Harry... who is supposed to be ten to eleven for crying out loud speaking like a three to four year old! I also couldn't help but make some of the comments about the implications I saw.
Oh wait... chapter three the writer says she's writing this so she and her husband have good Christian literature to give their kids to read, 'cause in this “modern world, sometimes, that can be hard to come by!” In chapter four the writer labels the haters as “evolutionists” despite the fact there are Christian's finding this thing to be offensive.
SAMPLE:
Author's Note: Hello, friends! My name is Grace Ann. I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing; but recently, I've encountered a problem that I believe this is the solution to. My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I'm happy for them to be reading; but I don't want them turning into witches! So I thought….. why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly? And then I thought, why not share this with all the other mommies who are facing the same problem? So-Ta da! Here it is! I am SO excited to share this with all of you! So, without further ado-
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Harry Potter who lived under the stairs in a house on Privet Drive with his aunt and uncle. He was a good, obedient boy who did all his chores; but he felt that there was something missing in his life. Something big and special; but he could not quite name it. He stayed up every night; and wished for this special something; but then one day, there was a knock at his door-and everything changed.
"Answer the door, Harry!" his Aunt Petunia, a career woman, barked from her armchair where she sat with her feet up. She had short, curly blonde hair and never wore any makeup. Uncle Vernon nodded sheepishly from the kitchen; and put a tray of moist, chocolatey brownies in the oven.
Shouldn't you be doing that? Harry thought; but he was a very obedient young boy, so he answered the door right away. He turned the brass, metal doorknob; and pulled open the heavy, wooden door.
On the porch was standing a huge, muscular man with a big, manly beard; and he was dressed in a plaid, red shirt, blue jeans, and sturdy, leather boots. His chest was covered in a thick, unruly carpet of coarse, brown hair. He wore a necklace that looked to Harry like a lowercase T. Just looking at Harry feel happy, peaceful somehow; but he couldn't say why!
"Good morning, kiddo," the man greeted amiably; and smiled at Harry. He had the peaceful, friendly sort of face you just knew you could trust. "My name is Hagrid. Could I speak to your mommy and daddy?"
"I don't have a mommy or daddy," Harry replied sadly; and looked at his raggedy, old shoes that were blue. Perhaps that was why he felt so lonely, he thought, not for the first time. Maybe that was what he was missing-a mommy and daddy. But no, that was not quite right.
- fanfic contest
- For the link of the day I give you the list of books this writer pretty much claims doesn't exist.
- Flashback Sue
TITLE: Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles )
PERPETRATOR: proudhousewife
SUE-O-METER:
(troll)
COVER/BANNER ART: none
SUMMARY:”Do you want your little ones to read books; and they want to read the Harry Potter Books; but you do not want them to turn into witches? Well-this is the story for you! This story has all the adventure of JKR's books; but will not lead your children astray. For concerned mommies everywhere! Blessings! Grace Ann”
FULL NAME: Hagrid, Harry
SPECIES: (…)
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: Hagrid comes to the door as if he was one of those door-to-door preachers. Petunia speaks about evolution and Hagrid pretty much kidnaps her nephew to indoctrinate Harry into this fake cult. Except in this story “magic” is the power of the Christian religion that allows them to transport places. So... did Hagrid get Harry to commit suicide instead. Manna show up... and I think that is as far as I'll go with them.
ORIGIN: The writer claims, “I may not be a professional writer; but I think I am being given the talent to pull this off in service of a greater mission =)” Yeah... right.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: If the writer is serious they really don't understand the implications they are making, some of which go against many Christian denominations way of thinking. However... if the writer is being satirical on purpose...
NOTES: The patronizing attitude is the most annoying thing about all of this. I don't think adult women enjoy a grown woman calling them “mommies” instead of “mothers” and this progresses to Harry... who is supposed to be ten to eleven for crying out loud speaking like a three to four year old! I also couldn't help but make some of the comments about the implications I saw.
Oh wait... chapter three the writer says she's writing this so she and her husband have good Christian literature to give their kids to read, 'cause in this “modern world, sometimes, that can be hard to come by!” In chapter four the writer labels the haters as “evolutionists” despite the fact there are Christian's finding this thing to be offensive.
SAMPLE:
Author's Note: Hello, friends! My name is Grace Ann. I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing; but recently, I've encountered a problem that I believe this is the solution to. My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I'm happy for them to be reading; but I don't want them turning into witches! So I thought….. why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly? And then I thought, why not share this with all the other mommies who are facing the same problem? So-Ta da! Here it is! I am SO excited to share this with all of you! So, without further ado-
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Harry Potter who lived under the stairs in a house on Privet Drive with his aunt and uncle. He was a good, obedient boy who did all his chores; but he felt that there was something missing in his life. Something big and special; but he could not quite name it. He stayed up every night; and wished for this special something; but then one day, there was a knock at his door-and everything changed.
"Answer the door, Harry!" his Aunt Petunia, a career woman, barked from her armchair where she sat with her feet up. She had short, curly blonde hair and never wore any makeup. Uncle Vernon nodded sheepishly from the kitchen; and put a tray of moist, chocolatey brownies in the oven.
Shouldn't you be doing that? Harry thought; but he was a very obedient young boy, so he answered the door right away. He turned the brass, metal doorknob; and pulled open the heavy, wooden door.
On the porch was standing a huge, muscular man with a big, manly beard; and he was dressed in a plaid, red shirt, blue jeans, and sturdy, leather boots. His chest was covered in a thick, unruly carpet of coarse, brown hair. He wore a necklace that looked to Harry like a lowercase T. Just looking at Harry feel happy, peaceful somehow; but he couldn't say why!
"Good morning, kiddo," the man greeted amiably; and smiled at Harry. He had the peaceful, friendly sort of face you just knew you could trust. "My name is Hagrid. Could I speak to your mommy and daddy?"
"I don't have a mommy or daddy," Harry replied sadly; and looked at his raggedy, old shoes that were blue. Perhaps that was why he felt so lonely, he thought, not for the first time. Maybe that was what he was missing-a mommy and daddy. But no, that was not quite right.