3315: The Lost Lupin - Hermione Granger, Remus Lupin... possibly more

[pottersues]

Don't forget about the fanfic contest.

TITLE: The Lost Lupin
PERPETRATOR: MaryRoyale
SUE-O-METER:

Comments

[yemi_hikari]

If a writer wants me to believe that Hermione is Remus' time traveling sister sent to the future by her parents and that Dumbledore is a manipulative bastard then they need to start the story a lot earlier then the end of the war.

This writer's whole "let's screw with canon anyway I wish" pretty much translates "I don't care about willing suspense of disbelief. It's not the job of the writer to take care of this, but the readers." Baloney... it's the creators.

[ext_3485897]

Seeing as how we started the story of with Hermione finding out that she was actually Lupin's sister, I really don't think she has to start off earlier. Doing a flashback to an event that Hermione does not even remember could have just lead to a confusion in the plot.

But your whole it's the creators--there was a lot of things in HP that we did not know about and we had to fill in, it wasn't until the creation of Pottermore that we began to get more background and blurbs about various characters from JKR. So some of it, I would say, is the reader's job.

[yemi_hikari]

Please work on your reading comprehension.

First, in writing there is a concept called "willing suspense of disbelief". If you want me to believe that a character is actually related to another character you can't simply tell the reader like the writer is doing, but you need to instead start at a spot that shows the readers it is possible. The fact Hermione doesn't remember is also mute, because not all points in the story need to be ones Hermione remembers.

Harry Potter is a prime example of a story which uses parts which Harry himself doesn't remember, like being left on the Dursley's doorstep, setting up the story for the readers. This writer does no set up.

Second, I when I talked about writer, I wasn't referring to Rowling and the gaps in her work, but the fanfic writer and the plot holes in the actual fanfic. There is a major difference between plot gaps in a story line, and plot holes as well. It is the readers job to feel in plot gaps, but not plot holes.

[beacon80]

If she can travel back in time and change things... why not go back and stop Remus from getting bitten in the first place? Oh, and that whole Voldemort thing might be worth looking in to.

[ext_3485897]

Perhaps because it was Greyback that was the bad guy to the Lupins in that particular story and Voldemort was what gave Greyback even more control of his pack since wolves prefer hierarchy and being the in the top 5 tier benefited Greyback?

There also could have been the theory that time will compensate around small things (i.e Hermione being removed from her time) but there are fix points that must happen (i.e Voldemort being the villain) Honestly who's to say? It's fanfiction.

[yemi_hikari]

Why

How drool

[ext_3485897]

Part 1: Time-travel: "...time travel isn't just unorthodox, it is far from the best sollution for hiding ones child." First off seeing as how it is a fanfic, I am not sure why you care about it being unorthodox. If you really want to nitpick about being it being unorthodox despite it being canon (note the time turners which show canon wise that time travel is possible although regulated) then you should not be reading fanfics because there are copious of Time-travel fics. Seeing as there are quite a number of them, your use of unorhodox--different from what is usually done or accepted (Merriam Webster)-- in reference to time travel is not really accurate. Especially since FF alone has over 2k time travel fics for HP alone and 800+ for Hermione.

You said,"Hermione's parents were able to use time travel technology despite the fact it is regulated by the ministry." I would like to point out this was with the help of Dumbledore who came up with the idea in the first place. Seeing as how in canon Dumbledore was a very influencial

Re: How drool

[ext_3485897]

Characterizaton: Andromeda was born a Black, sorted into Slytherin and is mentioned very little in the actual series - this gives quite a bit of lee way into her charcterization, but what we do see in the story is that she is cunning, resourceful and will do what she sees as the best outcome. Hermione I admit is OOC but if you actually continued with the story you would know that she suffered PTSD due to the war and that had resulted in her reacting differently when around people. Aside from the Marauders being bullies, Snape and Lily having a falling out, Dumbledore as headmaster, and McGonagall being transfiguration in the 70s- you have no grounds of claiming most of her fellow students at the time to be OOC because we had little to no information on any of them.

Dumbledore has been manipulative in the series, especially when it came to Snape. ( Albus in response to Snape in HPB: "Whether it has or it hasn't is irrelevant; you gave me your word.") The quote alone in parethesis shows that Dumbledore had knowingly used Snape's grief

Re: How drool

[yemi_hikari]

Writer's need to stop using PTSD as an excuse to make characters OoC. I think the only reason PTSD has cropped up in stories like this one is because PTSD comes up a lot in the news. They don't bother researching it, and they stereotype it as being the same in every single case, and thus use it as an excuse for not actually thinking about things logically. That is an insult to those actually suffering PTSD in my book, and is another case where the writer needs to show, not tell.

Second, Harry is protective of his friends, but he never acted like he had abusive boyfriend syndrome, and a down right jerk about it.

So yes, the comment about the characters being horribly out of character is valid. If the writer wants to write a story with PTSD they need to do their research, and not use it as a trump card excuse for their character to do anything they want.

P.S. Bringing up the PTSD just adds another Mary Sue issue to the list by the way...

Re: How drool

[pottersues]

Perhaps you should take up the use of unorthodox with the Suethor, rather then myself. The use of the word actually comes from a direct quote of the writer's summary, and both I and the writer used it correctly as the use of the time turner is "different from what is usually done or accepted" by the ministries actual regulations, and the laws put into place.

Second, Dumbledore is not anywhere near that influential, and gives him more power then he should have.

Third, since a nonmagical story would involve the writer changing the ages just to get their story to work, the only viable option is to do a time travel AU. The issue here is NOT the fact the writer is writing a time travel fic, but the fact the story butchers the concept big time.

Forth, the term AU is not internet slang, and that's honestly a bad definition of what an AU is.

[anonymous]

Well, aren't you all holier-than-thou (aside from Llevita19, who seems quite nice)? Seriously, this is a HP Burn Book. This "critique" reads like a high school bitch who's jealous of a rival. Not to mention the spelling errors. Glass houses and stones, y'all...

MaryRoyale writes for the fun of it, and if readers enjoy it (which they DO), great! What's wrong? Are you jealous of all of her reviews?

Grow up.

[anonymous]

I mean, it's as if you think that everyone has to follow YOUR rules for what an AU "should" be, or you blast them.

Guess what? You're not the boss. Of anyone.

Get over yourselves.

Sanctimonious jerks.

[pottersues]

Except they're not my rules.

Here is a quote from Big Bang Theory from Sheldon Cooper, "Penny, while I subscribe to the "Many Worlds" theory which posits the existence of an infinite number of Sheldons in an infinite number of universes, I assure you that in none of them am I dancing."

AU is short for alternative universe. Alternative universe otherwise known as parallel universe is based of scientific principles. If a writer can't be bothered to follow the rules of those scientific principles, then the writer is not writing an AU no matter how much they claim to be.

P.S. Popularity doesn't equate quality. Twilight is a prime example.

[yemi_hikari]

On top of this they're working with time travel, which is yet again scientific theory, but not bothering to delve into the ins and outs of said theory