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[pottersues]

Sorry for the delay. Here is day four of “All In the Summary” week. The name is actually in the title and not the summary, but that combined with the actual summaries contents made me decide to include it with this week.

TITLE: Eva Winters
PERPETRATOR: shadowkat678
SUE-O-METER:

Comments

[yemi_hikari]

While it's nice that you've fixed stuff since we last talk you still have a long way to go.

The definition you're giving for Mary Sue... “And a Mary-sue is a perfect character good at everything with no flaws. One that is seemingly superhuman and two diminutional.”... is actually the definition for the Mary Sue Type, Mary Sue Classic. A Mary Sue type character can have “flaws, quirks [and] traits that make make them different” just like a non Mary Sue character can. It's a matter of how these elements are used as well as how the character breaks what is called “willing suspense of disbelief” that makes the character a Mary Sue or not.

You're author's notes for the first chapter is still long at over six hundred words and could actually be cut down to under fifty words if you cut it down to the most important information. As it is that's five-hundred fifty words that is padding your word count.

I don't know what the point of bringing up the fact you've written three more chapters since the entry was written as the entry was written when you still had only six chapters. There is also no point bringing up the number of reviews and favorites you have either as popularity doesn't equate quality.

You also... looking at you're new author's note... have confused “out of canon” and “AU” as being the same thing when they are not. A good, well written AU will still be “in canon” even if a writer makes changes to the story. “Out of canon” means that the writer doesn't care to pay attention to the canon and does things just because they want to and it is always bad writing. Because it is bad writing you still can be called out for it.

Last... you still don't get how critique works. All critique will sting a persons pride. It also doesn't matter if this was your first story or not, it's not going to give your story a pass from getting critiqued.