(Untitled)

[pottersues]

Here is day five. I checked my inbox yesterday and found this bit of wank.

TITLE: Queen of the Hunt
PERPETRATOR: YuriFanGirl15
SUE-O-METER:
COVER/BANNER ART: It is a clip of their avatar. I haven't a clue what it is supposed to be of.

FULL NAME: Hermione, Minerva, Bellatrix and Fleur
SPECIES: Hermione is some kind of royalty. She's also a

Comments

[yemi_hikari]

And people wonder why the argument that anything goes in fanfiction doesn't work as an argument... this entire piece screams original work.

While the anonymous reviewer didn't need to use the language they did I've always found works that do go this AU to be insulting to not just the original creator but the person doing the writing. If you're creative enough to come up with something this original, why aren't you writing original fiction. Some AUs don't honestly work without the canon characters, but this... this one isn't one of those. That author's note chapter also really bothers me.

These are "year chapters" and are meant to skip over dialogue that isn't relative to important events. It is going to only be like this for now.

Um... here's the thing. You shouldn't be just covering the important events. Just because something isn't a major event, or one of the important events doesn't mean it isn't important to the story. A writer needs to progress from one important event to another, not just throw them at the reader. Otherwise the story ends up being rushed. As for the whole year thing, basing the chapters around the years... unless you have a good reason for doing this, don't ever do this. It's one thing to have arcs based around the years, but an entire chapter covering one years worth of events really pushes things.

I have realized that I have been vague on this. As I have said in past author's notes, we are skimming through Hermione's early years. I am doing this to establish a little backstory until we get to the main part of the story.

You're not establishing a backstory though if you're being vague. A writer should only be vague about important details when they're working in the mystery genre and have a good reason to keep said details hidden. Otherwise they need to make everything clear as a bell.

I am doing this until we get to an appropriate age for Hermione to have any kind of romantic interest. I didn't want to just start the story out of nowhere in Hermione's fourth year. I know we are skipping over character development, but at the moment we are focusing on backstory.

I don't think the writer understands what a backstory is. A backstory is not the same thing as a prolog and if they were using a real backstory within their story they would have been able to start in year four and present the material to the readers as the information is needed. As it is, what she's written is part of the story and she choose to rush through it.

Now, let us address my author's notes in the story. I am sorry if I have left the impression that I think you guys are unintelligent. I narrate this way for people that view this site in other countries. It is just in case they need to know things. I don't want anyone lost even if it is on something minor.

I've never once had this complaint from my foreign readers about putting in media that they aren't familiar with. Actually, adding in references to actual media in itself is bad unless you have a good reason for mentioning the media. On top of this the foreign readers are far from ignorant. If they don't know it, they can easily look it up on their own. Unless something is very obscure you let them look it up themselves, you don't give them a lesson. And if you have to mention information you can very well post it at the end, not in the middle of a story.

Also, this story is AU. I know Hermione is out of character but that is due to her family circumstances. I didn't think she would be the same if she was a part of a Lycan Clan that is in power. I thought that she would have confidence because of her family status; how she was raised.

It is true that certain changes to canon in an AU can justify a character changing personality wise. However, this is only true if the story is actually a "what if". In this case the story canon was changed for no logical reason except to create their own version of events where Hermione is the hero. On one side it can be argued that the changes to canon were made so that Hermione could get a personality change and on the other it can be argued there is no real logic to the changes made.