0029: Harry Potter and the Daynoc - unknown
Really, really, REALLY... GAH! There are just TOO MANY SUES!
I was going to post a Cho-Sue today, but then I found this little gem. Not five hundred words yet, and it already reeks to high heaven of Sue.
TITLE: Harry Potter and the Daynoc
PERPETRATOR: jandl
SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)
WRITING:
SUEAGE:
WRONGNESS:
FULL NAME: Unknown
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: Unknown
EYES: Unknown
MARKINGS: Unknown
POSESSIONS: Unknown
ORIGIN: Muggle-born, lives somewhere in Virginia. Who wants to start a betting pool on where the author lives?
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Voldemort and Wormtail are after her. Harry has disturbing precognitive dreams about her and writes to Dumbledore about them.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She has 'The Power of the Daynoc', whatever the flying fuck that is.
NOTES: If Arike Matsudara is the Battlefield Earth of Potter Sues, then this sucker is the The Princess Diaries; by ten minutes into that movie, I could have written the rest of the story myself and come up with something eerily similar to what actually unfolded on the screen. A friend of mine who watched it with me managed to recite several lines of dialogue verbatim - before they were spoken.
What we have here is a prologue - four hundred and ninety words. It doesn't even fill the screen on my monitor (800 by 600, text size set to -1 on MSIE). Yet I know for a fact that this mysterious Daynoc witch is going to turn out to be 16 and gorgeous, will end up at Hogwarts somehow, and that she and Harry will fall in love, defeat Voldemort together, and live happily ever after. As in the case of The Princess Diaries, I could write the rest of it myself from here - except that my version would probably be a lot better than what I fear is to come out of this.
SAMPLE:
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters you recognize. Not even the other characters are mine. They're based on real people. The only one who exists that is mine is Rosa. Or myself.
Summary: Harry Potter returns to his sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts where he meets the most powerful witch in the history of magic. Has lots of romance and violence. Lots of adventure. Please review. No flames please.
Harry Potter and the Daynoc
Prologue
"Come to me, Wormtail," said a soft, high-pitched voice. "Y-y-yes, m-m-master?" asked Wormtail in a timid voice. "Have you found her?" asked Voldemort. "Yes, m-m-master." "Well, who and where is she?" "Her name is Rosa Crump master and she's in a small town in Virginia in the U.S." "Well, it looks like we'll get a nice visit to the states." "M-m-master I-I-I think y-y-you should kn-know. She's a m-m- muggle." "That's all right, Wormtail. That just means I can have a little fun persuading her to join our side. I'm willing to overlook that she's a muggle.for the power of the Daynoc." Voldemort then let out a high sadistic laugh.
Trying to Remember
At that moment, the boy-who-lived sat up. Harry sat in his bed trying to remember the dream. They had been talking about someone. A girl. A witch, but a muggleborn. An American. He couldn't remember her name or what they had called her. All he knew was that he needed to write to Dumbledore.
Dear Professor Dumbledore, Sorry to disturb you, but I had another dream. Voldemort was speaking with Peter and they were talking about a muggleborn witch in America. They want to recruit her so she must be quite powerful. I'm not quite sure what this means. They gave her a specific name, but I can't remember what it was. That's all I remember for now. I'll tell you if I remember anything more.
Sincerely, Harry Potter
Harry then went back to sleep and had a restful summer.
I was going to post a Cho-Sue today, but then I found this little gem. Not five hundred words yet, and it already reeks to high heaven of Sue.
TITLE: Harry Potter and the Daynoc
PERPETRATOR: jandl
SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)
WRITING:
SUEAGE:
WRONGNESS:
FULL NAME: Unknown
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: Unknown
EYES: Unknown
MARKINGS: Unknown
POSESSIONS: Unknown
ORIGIN: Muggle-born, lives somewhere in Virginia. Who wants to start a betting pool on where the author lives?
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Voldemort and Wormtail are after her. Harry has disturbing precognitive dreams about her and writes to Dumbledore about them.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She has 'The Power of the Daynoc', whatever the flying fuck that is.
NOTES: If Arike Matsudara is the Battlefield Earth of Potter Sues, then this sucker is the The Princess Diaries; by ten minutes into that movie, I could have written the rest of the story myself and come up with something eerily similar to what actually unfolded on the screen. A friend of mine who watched it with me managed to recite several lines of dialogue verbatim - before they were spoken.
What we have here is a prologue - four hundred and ninety words. It doesn't even fill the screen on my monitor (800 by 600, text size set to -1 on MSIE). Yet I know for a fact that this mysterious Daynoc witch is going to turn out to be 16 and gorgeous, will end up at Hogwarts somehow, and that she and Harry will fall in love, defeat Voldemort together, and live happily ever after. As in the case of The Princess Diaries, I could write the rest of it myself from here - except that my version would probably be a lot better than what I fear is to come out of this.
SAMPLE:
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters you recognize. Not even the other characters are mine. They're based on real people. The only one who exists that is mine is Rosa. Or myself.
Summary: Harry Potter returns to his sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts where he meets the most powerful witch in the history of magic. Has lots of romance and violence. Lots of adventure. Please review. No flames please.
Harry Potter and the Daynoc
Prologue
"Come to me, Wormtail," said a soft, high-pitched voice. "Y-y-yes, m-m-master?" asked Wormtail in a timid voice. "Have you found her?" asked Voldemort. "Yes, m-m-master." "Well, who and where is she?" "Her name is Rosa Crump master and she's in a small town in Virginia in the U.S." "Well, it looks like we'll get a nice visit to the states." "M-m-master I-I-I think y-y-you should kn-know. She's a m-m- muggle." "That's all right, Wormtail. That just means I can have a little fun persuading her to join our side. I'm willing to overlook that she's a muggle.for the power of the Daynoc." Voldemort then let out a high sadistic laugh.
Trying to Remember
At that moment, the boy-who-lived sat up. Harry sat in his bed trying to remember the dream. They had been talking about someone. A girl. A witch, but a muggleborn. An American. He couldn't remember her name or what they had called her. All he knew was that he needed to write to Dumbledore.
Dear Professor Dumbledore, Sorry to disturb you, but I had another dream. Voldemort was speaking with Peter and they were talking about a muggleborn witch in America. They want to recruit her so she must be quite powerful. I'm not quite sure what this means. They gave her a specific name, but I can't remember what it was. That's all I remember for now. I'll tell you if I remember anything more.
Sincerely, Harry Potter
Harry then went back to sleep and had a restful summer.