0211: Hand Maidens - Princess Rikai

[pottersues]

I have a hell of a headache - I'm posting tonight's Sue early and then I'm going to bed.

Hurry up and vote! Only three more days!

TITLE: Hand Maidens
PERPETRATOR: KazenoYama

SUE-O-METER:

Comments

[akanesmallet]

Harry had a maroon cloth wrapped around his, now, large chest. (I couldn't help myself!)
If I'm not mistaken, this Sue-inator is guilty of improper use of the comma. If that's not punishable, it should be.

http://www.uottawa.ca/academic/arts/writcent/hypergrammar/comma.html

"So is this where you've been all summer?" Harry asked. Draco nods. "I was really worried." Draco smiled.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't get in touch with you or anything. I was sure that our friendship would suffer but I had to try and help her."

"I understand." Harry said. He and Draco leave the room in search on Ron and the mysterious girl

I hope, hope, HOPE they were being sarcastic there.

[akanesmallet]

OMG I am such an idiot. I can't believe I didn't notice the change in tenses!

Harry asked. Draco nods.

Right next to each other even.

*smacks self*

[petethebum]

"I hope, hope, HOPE they were being sarcastic there."

I think that might be giving the author far too much credit.

[wenelda]

You are in Kanan
Pardon me whilst I snigger quietly.

"She wants to leave because of an arranged marriage. She hates the man with her whole heart. If she refuses to marry him than she will be sacrificed to their God."
I can only hope. Out of curiosity, isn't "God" only supposed to be capitalized when speaking of the Christian "God" since he doesn't have any other name? In the way she's writing, it's only supposed to be "god", isn't it?

"I will do anything if you guys can help me."
Alright, if she's royalty then so am I. I've never heard of a royal person, no matter who, saying "guys". I doubt they use slang, if they're true royalty. But this is a Sue. *Shakes head*
I send my Sue eating wolfy after her! BWAHAHAHAA!

[spusan]

Royalty don't use slang?! Okay, have you ever read the "modernized" version of Hamlet's "To be or not to be..." speech by Prince Charles when he was in his last years at Eton? It sounded like the dumbest valley girl in California wrote it while having a brain aneurysm (sp?).

[wenelda]

No, I haven't. I suppose I should be more up to date on things if I'm going to snark on them, eh?
*Sigh* I'll wander away now, tail between legs.

[mayatawi]

You are in Kanan

I wonder what Kanan has to say about this?

[/saiyukifangirl]

[anonymous]

This is one of the reviews of the fic: "um... harry and ron a girl is a very disgusting. i hope you continue to write."

Who are these people??? Bad reviewers piss me off even more than bad writers. This is worse than the usual "omg u roc!!111!! lolz" Sue-enabling garbage review, if such a thing is possible. Hmmmph. *walks off in huff*

Lissa

Yeah... THAT'S why

[useless_espers]

"Why did you bring Malfoy here?"

"I was trying to find a way to escape." She said quietly.

Right. Yes, perfect choice to help you out. Don't ever ask someone smart like Hermione, ask the stupid little rich boy. But then I guess this is Kanan and not Canon.

"So is this where you've been all summer?" Harry asked. Draco nods. "I was really worried." Draco smiled.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't get in touch with you or anything. I was sure that our friendship would suffer but I had to try and help her."

::bangs head:: Stuff like this made me the stubborn canon bitch that I am today.

[mayatawi]

Hand Maidens? So is this the Hand Maidens' Tale?

Ahahaha. I kill me. Only so no one else can do it first.

::waits for Offred to lay the smackdown on their asses::

[mayatawi]

Well, that would just be weird.