0970: Harry has boobs? - Harrina Potter
Link O The Day: Mighty Moshin' Emo Rangers
Stupid Sisters of Harry Week, Day Five:
TITLE: Harry has boobs?
PERPETRATOR: Drunk Like A Fox
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Harrina Potter
SPECIES: human/witch
HAIR: 'messy black hair'
EYES: 'bright green eyes'
MARKINGS: lightning-bolt scar
POSESSIONS: none mentioned
ORIGIN: Hermione finds her chained up in a dungeon.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: No canon here.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: killing people when she was a baby.
NOTES: I was going to say something like, "hey, at least it wasn't a taco show, right?"
But then I realized that a taco show would not, in fact, have been worse. You see, this is one of those fics where the author thinks she's funny, but is very, very wrong. I think I know what the problem is, though - the summary says something about the 'authoress' 'smoking crack'. No, no, honey. You snort crack.
Three quarters of Chapter 2 is inane 'authoress's notes.
SAMPLE:
Hermione finally saw the speaker. They were chained to the wall, whoever they were, and had messy black hair, bright green eyes and a lightning shaped scar across their forehead.
"Harry!" shouted Hermione, her voice filled with impatience, "We were supposed to split up! And what are you doing chained to the wall??" she said with her hands on her hips, considering the figure in front of her, "If this is some sick, twisted bondage fantasy, I want nothing to do with it. Besides this is neither the time nor the place to be.." She trailed off as she noticed something she hadn't before.... "Boobs!" She cried in disbelief, "You don't have boobs Harry!"
The chained girl stared at Hermione, "My name isn't Harry," she said indignantly. "It's Harrina. Harrina Potter," she added.
"Say what??" Hermione stared in disbelief. “Sure you are,” she replied. “That...... makes...... sense......”
“Of course it does. These stories always have some sort of twin,” Harrina retorted snottily.
“But what about Harry’s parents? Wouldn’t they have mentioned you? Wouldn’t Dumbledore have mentioned you? Where were you when Harry’s parents were murdered?”
“Why, locked in this basement of course. You see, Dumbledore doesn’t like me very much.”
“Why?”
“Because I kinda killed a bunch of people.”
“When you were an INFANT!?”
“Uh, yea, I’ve always been ahead of the other kids.”
“Uh huh......”
Stupid Sisters of Harry Week, Day Five:
TITLE: Harry has boobs?
PERPETRATOR: Drunk Like A Fox
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Harrina Potter
SPECIES: human/witch
HAIR: 'messy black hair'
EYES: 'bright green eyes'
MARKINGS: lightning-bolt scar
POSESSIONS: none mentioned
ORIGIN: Hermione finds her chained up in a dungeon.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: No canon here.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: killing people when she was a baby.
NOTES: I was going to say something like, "hey, at least it wasn't a taco show, right?"
But then I realized that a taco show would not, in fact, have been worse. You see, this is one of those fics where the author thinks she's funny, but is very, very wrong. I think I know what the problem is, though - the summary says something about the 'authoress' 'smoking crack'. No, no, honey. You snort crack.
Three quarters of Chapter 2 is inane 'authoress's notes.
SAMPLE:
Hermione finally saw the speaker. They were chained to the wall, whoever they were, and had messy black hair, bright green eyes and a lightning shaped scar across their forehead.
"Harry!" shouted Hermione, her voice filled with impatience, "We were supposed to split up! And what are you doing chained to the wall??" she said with her hands on her hips, considering the figure in front of her, "If this is some sick, twisted bondage fantasy, I want nothing to do with it. Besides this is neither the time nor the place to be.." She trailed off as she noticed something she hadn't before.... "Boobs!" She cried in disbelief, "You don't have boobs Harry!"
The chained girl stared at Hermione, "My name isn't Harry," she said indignantly. "It's Harrina. Harrina Potter," she added.
"Say what??" Hermione stared in disbelief. “Sure you are,” she replied. “That...... makes...... sense......”
“Of course it does. These stories always have some sort of twin,” Harrina retorted snottily.
“But what about Harry’s parents? Wouldn’t they have mentioned you? Wouldn’t Dumbledore have mentioned you? Where were you when Harry’s parents were murdered?”
“Why, locked in this basement of course. You see, Dumbledore doesn’t like me very much.”
“Why?”
“Because I kinda killed a bunch of people.”
“When you were an INFANT!?”
“Uh, yea, I’ve always been ahead of the other kids.”
“Uh huh......”