(no subject)
Remember the writer I featured for the link of the day yesterday? Melindaleo also has a profile on the pit, but there are more story options there than on hpfanfic.
Title: I Was Younger Then
Perpetrator: LustilyFaust
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: None
Summary: “Penny Potter, twin of Harry Potter, is the clone of her mother, but her mannerism are that of her father. Snape finds himself conflicted. The girl is fascinating to him and she loves potions. What will Snape do when he learns Penny is linked to Harry's mind, allowing the piece of Voldemort to infiltrate her mind and siphon her power, making her terribly ill.”
Full Name: Penny Potter
Sueworts House(s): The only house she doesn’t fall into is Tootsietramp. (12/19/20) - Scratch that. I just realized she's being paired with Snape, Cedric and Draco.
Species: She’s Harry’s twin who gets special treatment and special powers and supposedly has no friends.
Hair: She’s a Lily clone.
Eyes: See above.
Markings: n/a
Poessessions: She has no close friends despite being more sociable than Harry, though to be honest, with how civil Draco is with her in the first chapter I’ve got to consider this a lie. She’s friends with Hermione in the second chapter.
Connection to Canon: Sitting with Draco in double potions they discuss the Triwizard Tournament and she bolding claims that Hogwarts needs a female champion, because we’ve yet another feminist crusader. Seriously. I want to strangle these characters which look for issues where there are none. She knows nothing about the past champions and already assumes that the Triwizard Tournament is sexist. We then have her being obnoxious by telling Snape their were failings in her prompt because, “I think there were some failings with your prompt, and requirements for the assignments, particularly in reference to the use of moonstones in droughts. What did you mean by droughts? Because as a potions master I know you know, there is no real category known as 'droughts' and unlearned people simply just clump together these potions by brewing methods, which makes no sense in and of itself, but that's another topic to be discussed. But, were you asking about all of them, the polygeneous ones or the amonious antidotes that rely on moonstones?” Her bratty attitude doesn’t lose her any points and instead she’s asked to speak with him after class, but after he tells her she was overachieving by writing about all the categories rather than picking one which she claims was so her grade wouldn’t suffer, but she further acts like a brat when she says she wasn’t going for bonus points like he claimed. Because, “Snape never punished her the way he did others.” Neville then poisons her with a potion. Things gets worse because she acts like Snape’s friend, which I guess can be explained away by her looking like Lily but only makes it even more creepy, but she acts too much like she’s his equal to my liking. That’s just the first chapter. Chapter two is her interacting with Hermione and Draco while dealing with a headache. Chapter three sees her skipping breakfast because she’s in a poor mood and Harry calls it only for her to be a brat to him. Why is she mad? Because she yelled at Snape the night before and got detention. (Honestly, about time.) She faints during Moody’s class as well. Chapter four, she’s still on Snape because he gave her detention (what a brat) but is happy because Remus sent her pictures of his cottage. (Apparently the Suethor forgot werewolves aren’t able to be hired meaning he wouldn’t be able to afford said cottage.) He talks to her about submitting a student project to the Daily Prophet. (If they did this, why didn’t anybody suggest this to Hermione of all people?) Chapter five is this super smart Sue wining about her workload, but more wining about how, “she never wanted to go back, something felt broken insider her-Snape had never been her friend.” Chapter six is about Krum coming to her rescue when she has one of her spells. There is more drama in chapter seven where Moody tells her he will deal with Snape if he continues to bother her. With, you know, punishments she actually deserves and him finally putting his foot down regarding her antics. More angst with Snape in chapter eight. Chapter nine sees her complaining about Malfoy because “he only used her name to annoy her because he refused to ever just be pleasant…” By name, I mean her first name, but the writer really thinks the back and forth snark between the two is problematic. There’s more complains about Snape in the tenth chapter and Cedric shows up in this chapter. Snape says when she wants her out of her head, “If I did, your magic would consume you, but I can teach you how to control it, harness it and use it.” (You mean the special magical powers nobody else has, right?) We also get the line of, “the truth of the matter was, Death Eater or not, Penny has always felt safe with Severus Snape, if only he had felt the same and told her the truth.” The first thought popping into my head was that Snape would trust Harry before he did Penny because of her many issues. Chapter eleven she finally meets Tom. Twelfth, more issues with Snape.
Origin: The first chapter starts off explain how she grew up with Harry and how Penny goes unnoticed despite the fact she is Harry’s twin. (While it is true under normal circumstances that people noticing the OC is a sign the character is a Mary Sue, this is one of those cases where the exact opposite is true. Harry is just too famous for his sister to go unnoticed.) She’s also now a second thought on Harry’s part. (Why? Harry hated his fame, but if his sister was his one best friend growing up, why would he abandon her once he gained new friends? He wouldn’t, but I think this is the result of the writer skipping the first three years and jumping right into Goblet of Fire.) What’s really strange though is the fact she’s more sociable than Harry, though in reality what the writer describes is a person who is more popular than Harry, to Suetiful levels.
Special Abilities: As the summary says, “Penny is linked to Harry’s mind, allowing the piece of Voldemort to infiltrate her mind and siphon her powers, making her terrible ill.” We also learn that “Penny was a bit more sociable than Harry, being charismatic ‘like her father,’ as many people liked to remind her.” She’s an “entertainer” which gets her a rep like Fred and George, but Draco is on good terms with her. It’s to the point “Professor Dumbeldore asked her to read a Christmas Story to the small gathering of people who remained at Hogwarts over Christmas break in their first year. He complimented her fiercely, and even Professor Snape seemed to have nothing negative to say. Penny Potter found her place at Hogwarts, and it sufficed to keep her content.”
Notes: I’d like to say I know why Harry’s not hanging out with his twin anymore, but the same behavior which would drive him away - her acting ten times more obnoxious than Hermione did their first year and getting away with being a complete brat - doesn’t drive others away. It’s bad when your first chapter is titled the ‘Cheerful Potions Professor’ but even worse when a teacher who normally punishes rather strictly doesn’t and then starts to only for the Sue to whine about how abused she is.
Sample:
Her location didn't bother her and people never minded taking the space next to her, from either house. It was generally pleasant to have people coming and going, but she never did travel in a set group, like most of her peers. Today, Malfoy sat beside her.
"Penny, have you heard the Triwizard Tournament is being held here this year," he said in a drawl.
"What's that?" she asked.
"I always forget about your upbringing," he said, glancing back at Harry.
"What a charming thing for you to say" she said sardonically.
He smiled at her, she knew he always found her to be amusing, even though he tried very hard to be bored with most of Hogwarts.
"It's an international competition between schools. My father says only the best wizards from each school are chosen."
"And witches," she corrected him.
"Are you planning on entering then," he smirked.
"I daresay the wizarding world could do with a female champion," she said, her eyes gleaming.
Title: I Was Younger Then
Perpetrator: LustilyFaust
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: None
Summary: “Penny Potter, twin of Harry Potter, is the clone of her mother, but her mannerism are that of her father. Snape finds himself conflicted. The girl is fascinating to him and she loves potions. What will Snape do when he learns Penny is linked to Harry's mind, allowing the piece of Voldemort to infiltrate her mind and siphon her power, making her terribly ill.”
Full Name: Penny Potter
Sueworts House(s): The only house she doesn’t fall into is Tootsietramp. (12/19/20) - Scratch that. I just realized she's being paired with Snape, Cedric and Draco.
Species: She’s Harry’s twin who gets special treatment and special powers and supposedly has no friends.
Hair: She’s a Lily clone.
Eyes: See above.
Markings: n/a
Poessessions: She has no close friends despite being more sociable than Harry, though to be honest, with how civil Draco is with her in the first chapter I’ve got to consider this a lie. She’s friends with Hermione in the second chapter.
Connection to Canon: Sitting with Draco in double potions they discuss the Triwizard Tournament and she bolding claims that Hogwarts needs a female champion, because we’ve yet another feminist crusader. Seriously. I want to strangle these characters which look for issues where there are none. She knows nothing about the past champions and already assumes that the Triwizard Tournament is sexist. We then have her being obnoxious by telling Snape their were failings in her prompt because, “I think there were some failings with your prompt, and requirements for the assignments, particularly in reference to the use of moonstones in droughts. What did you mean by droughts? Because as a potions master I know you know, there is no real category known as 'droughts' and unlearned people simply just clump together these potions by brewing methods, which makes no sense in and of itself, but that's another topic to be discussed. But, were you asking about all of them, the polygeneous ones or the amonious antidotes that rely on moonstones?” Her bratty attitude doesn’t lose her any points and instead she’s asked to speak with him after class, but after he tells her she was overachieving by writing about all the categories rather than picking one which she claims was so her grade wouldn’t suffer, but she further acts like a brat when she says she wasn’t going for bonus points like he claimed. Because, “Snape never punished her the way he did others.” Neville then poisons her with a potion. Things gets worse because she acts like Snape’s friend, which I guess can be explained away by her looking like Lily but only makes it even more creepy, but she acts too much like she’s his equal to my liking. That’s just the first chapter. Chapter two is her interacting with Hermione and Draco while dealing with a headache. Chapter three sees her skipping breakfast because she’s in a poor mood and Harry calls it only for her to be a brat to him. Why is she mad? Because she yelled at Snape the night before and got detention. (Honestly, about time.) She faints during Moody’s class as well. Chapter four, she’s still on Snape because he gave her detention (what a brat) but is happy because Remus sent her pictures of his cottage. (Apparently the Suethor forgot werewolves aren’t able to be hired meaning he wouldn’t be able to afford said cottage.) He talks to her about submitting a student project to the Daily Prophet. (If they did this, why didn’t anybody suggest this to Hermione of all people?) Chapter five is this super smart Sue wining about her workload, but more wining about how, “she never wanted to go back, something felt broken insider her-Snape had never been her friend.” Chapter six is about Krum coming to her rescue when she has one of her spells. There is more drama in chapter seven where Moody tells her he will deal with Snape if he continues to bother her. With, you know, punishments she actually deserves and him finally putting his foot down regarding her antics. More angst with Snape in chapter eight. Chapter nine sees her complaining about Malfoy because “he only used her name to annoy her because he refused to ever just be pleasant…” By name, I mean her first name, but the writer really thinks the back and forth snark between the two is problematic. There’s more complains about Snape in the tenth chapter and Cedric shows up in this chapter. Snape says when she wants her out of her head, “If I did, your magic would consume you, but I can teach you how to control it, harness it and use it.” (You mean the special magical powers nobody else has, right?) We also get the line of, “the truth of the matter was, Death Eater or not, Penny has always felt safe with Severus Snape, if only he had felt the same and told her the truth.” The first thought popping into my head was that Snape would trust Harry before he did Penny because of her many issues. Chapter eleven she finally meets Tom. Twelfth, more issues with Snape.
Origin: The first chapter starts off explain how she grew up with Harry and how Penny goes unnoticed despite the fact she is Harry’s twin. (While it is true under normal circumstances that people noticing the OC is a sign the character is a Mary Sue, this is one of those cases where the exact opposite is true. Harry is just too famous for his sister to go unnoticed.) She’s also now a second thought on Harry’s part. (Why? Harry hated his fame, but if his sister was his one best friend growing up, why would he abandon her once he gained new friends? He wouldn’t, but I think this is the result of the writer skipping the first three years and jumping right into Goblet of Fire.) What’s really strange though is the fact she’s more sociable than Harry, though in reality what the writer describes is a person who is more popular than Harry, to Suetiful levels.
Special Abilities: As the summary says, “Penny is linked to Harry’s mind, allowing the piece of Voldemort to infiltrate her mind and siphon her powers, making her terrible ill.” We also learn that “Penny was a bit more sociable than Harry, being charismatic ‘like her father,’ as many people liked to remind her.” She’s an “entertainer” which gets her a rep like Fred and George, but Draco is on good terms with her. It’s to the point “Professor Dumbeldore asked her to read a Christmas Story to the small gathering of people who remained at Hogwarts over Christmas break in their first year. He complimented her fiercely, and even Professor Snape seemed to have nothing negative to say. Penny Potter found her place at Hogwarts, and it sufficed to keep her content.”
Notes: I’d like to say I know why Harry’s not hanging out with his twin anymore, but the same behavior which would drive him away - her acting ten times more obnoxious than Hermione did their first year and getting away with being a complete brat - doesn’t drive others away. It’s bad when your first chapter is titled the ‘Cheerful Potions Professor’ but even worse when a teacher who normally punishes rather strictly doesn’t and then starts to only for the Sue to whine about how abused she is.
Sample:
Her location didn't bother her and people never minded taking the space next to her, from either house. It was generally pleasant to have people coming and going, but she never did travel in a set group, like most of her peers. Today, Malfoy sat beside her.
"Penny, have you heard the Triwizard Tournament is being held here this year," he said in a drawl.
"What's that?" she asked.
"I always forget about your upbringing," he said, glancing back at Harry.
"What a charming thing for you to say" she said sardonically.
He smiled at her, she knew he always found her to be amusing, even though he tried very hard to be bored with most of Hogwarts.
"It's an international competition between schools. My father says only the best wizards from each school are chosen."
"And witches," she corrected him.
"Are you planning on entering then," he smirked.
"I daresay the wizarding world could do with a female champion," she said, her eyes gleaming.