5039: A Blue, Black Shade of Love - Valaena Targaryen
Don’t forget about the first bi-annual Pottersues Contest which is replacing the old annual Pottersues Contest. The theme for said contest is Gamer Fic. Since Gamer Fic is a rather new concept in fanfic, I’ve added links to three entries which feature a Gamer Fic. I’m also working on a list of common traits we find in Sue stories which make them Sue stories called More Than Thirteen Reasons Why.
Title: A Blue, Black Shade of Love
Perpetrator: TheWeepingRaven
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: I believe the cover is meant to show off how beautiful our Sue is. She’s dressed in a “modern” dress which is of a maroon color. The shoulders and sleeves are semitransparent with a leaf design.
Summary: “James Potter has been in love with Valaena Targaryen since he first laid eyes on her in first year. Valaena's feelings couldn't be more different towards the boy she considered to be an arrogant toe-rag. When James comes across a mysterious time-turner he stole from his father's office, and turns to Valaena for help, the two are suddenly thrust into an unknown and uncertain future.” The summary is extended inside the story with, “However, beautiful, fierce, and intelligent Valaena doesn't always get what she wants. Even if she is a Princess. Her desire to be not bothered by James Potter this year, is all but denied by the troublemaker that won't take no for an answer. […] When James comes across a mysterious time-turner he stole from his father's office, and turns to Valaena for help, the two are suddenly thrust into an unknown and uncertain future. So many things are different eighteen years from their own time. Severus and Lily are married with children. Severus is a Potion Master's, Lily is the school's Healer, Sirius a Head Auror, Remus the school's history professor, Maddox the potions professor, while Frank and Alice are essentially brain dead. […] So many other people they cared about are dead or traitors. Voldemort is gaining more power by the day and their once safe haven is in danger. The most shocking part of this unexpected trip is the fact that she has a son with the person she despises the most. Not only that, but she and James are dead, by the hands of Lord Voldemort, while trying to protect their son. […] For once, trying to work together is harder than one would think, especially when the duo try desperately to change their futures. With the help of their old and new Hogwarts friends, will they succeed in making James and Valaena fall in love and survive what is to come?”
Full Name: Valaena Targaryen
Species: She’s Harry - I mean Haery’s new mother.
Hair: See markings.
Eyes: See markings.
Markings: “…she brushes away strangs of her silver-gold colored hair that fell into her beautiful violet eyes.”
Possessions: There was a very long list of, “Pairings: James Potter/Original Female Character(s), James Potter/Valaena Targaryen, Rhaegar Targaryen/Original Female Character(s), Rhaegar Targaryen/Valaena Targaryen, Elia Martell/Baelon Targaryen, Sirius Black/Helaena Targaryen, Shaena Targaryen/Einar Arryn, Shaena Targaryen/Original Male Character, Lyanna Stark/Daeron Targaryen, Galeana Targaryen/Aldous Dayne, Alyxaenya Targaryen/Hadrian Lannister, Aemon Targaryen/Walda Frey, Jacaerys Targaryen/Cassiopeia Malfoy, Viserys Targaryen/Margaery Tyrell, Jonaerys Potter/Daenerys Targaryen, Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Jonaerys Potter/Robb Stark, Jon Snow/Robb Stark, Khal Drogo/Visenya Targaryen, Visenya Targaryen/Aegon VI Targaryen, Aegon VI Targaryen/Rhaenys Targaryen, Visenya Targaryen/Rhaenys Targaryen, Visenya Targaryen/Aegon VI Targaryen/Rhaenys Targaryen, Aegon VI Targaryen/Prince, Rhaenys Targaryen/, Sansa Stark/Jaehaerys Targaryen, Ashara Dayne/Ned Stark, Brandon Stark/Catelyn Stark, Robb Stark/Jeyne Westerling, Dean Thomas/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Jaime Lannister, Lavender Brown/Ron Weasley, Fleur Delacour/Bill Weasley, Lorcan d'Eath/Charlie Weasley, Hannah Abbott/Susan Bones, Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood, Arthur Weasley/Molly Weasley, Theon Greyjoy/Daphne Greengrass, Severus Snape/Lily Evans, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Malfoy, Remus Lupin/Marlene McKinnon, Robert Baratheon/Cersei Lannister, Cersei Lannister/Original Male Character, Cersei Lannister/Jayke Lannister, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, Blaise Zabini/Draco Malfoy, Tracey Davis/Sally Ann Perks, etc.”
Connection to Canon: Lily is replaced by an OC who is better than her in every way. (I mean, look at the summary.) The first part of the story involves her bemoaning, well, here is a line from said part. “His little followers are another reason why she can’t stand the Marauder.” Prior to this sentence we get a few paragraphs about why she doesn’t like him, but then paragraphs about how she doesn’t like the others - except, she praise Sirius and Remus and dispraises Peter. In reality, it is so we can get an info dump on certain things like the fact Sirius is to marry her sister Helaena. She then goes back into complaining about James. He’s apparently a womanizer, though him bullying others is a legit reason to not like him. That said, how many people actually cared whether he bullied Snape? For some reason the list now includes “Xenophilius Lovegood, Samara Selwyn, Godric Max and her now ex-best friend Maddox Montague, whom she’d known since her childhood years.” Most of those were OCs, but there’s nothing that says James or anybody bullied Xenophilius. He’s also now also apparently disrespectful towards teachers. (Would you guys argue Fred and George were disrespectful towards their teachers simply because they pranked people? As such, I’m not sure where this is coming from either.) James’ part goes into how much in love he is with her to the point he “…steps closer and leans in, his head dipping closer towards her. He inhales and he can smell Cherry Blossoms, vanilla, and something smokey.” And the writer wants us to root for these two to get together? It’s bad enough this breaks up James and Lilly. He gets close and then - she blurts out that she knows “it’s a time turner meaning you and I need to get as far away from each other as quickly as possible… “ because “…it’s dangerous for two time turners to be around each other at the same time Potter!” We don’t know where they even came from, but this rule about being near each other isn’t canon either. This results in our poor Sue blacking out. We then find out she and James were legally married when she turned fourteen because her father made her, but this is a stark contrast compared to chapter one which takes place in what feels like a modern Hogwarts and this which takes place in an older day. She’s stuck taking care of a toddler, but she also gets to see when she and James dies. We’re also supposed to believe that they eventually end up in the future so that she can see her wonderful son grown up after she’s died so that she’ll be convinced to get together with Potter, yet we’ve also got the issue of her being forced into a marriage in the second chapter which gets dropped very quickly as the writer drops the historical elements of GoT for the modern elements of HP.
Origin: We get the following “Author Note: The main character is an original character, Valaena Targaryen (b. 260 AC), who will be the mother of Harry Potter. As much as I love the relationship of Lily Evans and James Potter, I wanted to do a story with a relationship between an Original Female Character and James Potter. […] Essentially, Harry Potter characters and the Wizarding World's locations (such as buildings and what not) all exist within the Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire Universe. So, such places like Westeros (and the Seven Kingdoms within that continent), Essos, Sothoryos, and Ulthos all exist together with places like Hogwarts, , etc. I imagine it as being located in Valyria, where it was rebuilt with Magic, perhaps cleansed with a ritual, along with other locations that were once doomed and destroyed.” We also get the following “Warnings (Including but not limited to): Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Murder, Attempted Murder, Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Rape, Strong Female Characters, R Plus L Does Not Equal J, Harry Potter is named Jaehaerys Potter, Jon Snow is named Jonaerys Potter, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Jon Snow is a Potter, Jon Snow is Not Called Aegon, Jon Snow Knows Nothing, Jaehaerys Potter is called Haery, Valaena Targaryen is a BAMF, James Potter is a BAMF, Slow Burn, Established Relationships, Incest, Cousin Incest, Sibling Incest, Major Original Female Character(s), Major Original Male Character(s), Intrigue, Political Intrigue, Kings and Queens, Royalty, Court, Espionage, Magic, Witches and Wizards, Pureblood Agendas, Cults and their followers, Death Eaters, Lord Voldemort, etc.”
Special Abilities: We’re supposed to believe not getting your way includes some guy taking no for an answer. We also get the line about how, “it’s like he expects every girl, except for Valaena and Lily, to fall at his feet and kiss the ground he walks on.” Meaning Lily is still in this, but he’s pursuing both of them. Actually, can I bring up the fact there is no evidence Sirius or James are womanizers, but that this characterization of womanizing is a very negative stereotype which shows up in a lot of Mary Sue stories.
Notes: The
Sample:
"What do you want Potter?" Valaena Targaryen demands as she brushes away strands of her silver-gold colored hair that fell into her beautiful violet eyes. She rests her hands sternly on her hips as her eyes look on at James Potter in disapproval. He has been the sole focus of her disdain and antipathy since her first year at Hogwarts when he tried to catch her attention by playing a prank on her. That was the first and last time he ever did a prank on the tall, slim and hot tempered Princess.
James has been infatuated with her since he first laid his hazel eyes on her on the Hogwarts Express' Platform Nine and 3/4. Over time he continues to fall hard for her day after day, year after year. He obsessed over the fiery, intelligent, amazingly gorgeous, and every other compliment he could think up, Princess. He follows her around like a love sick puppy and Valaena hates it.
Valaena has more than enough devoted followers following her around. As one of the Princesses in Westeros and ruling over the Seven Kingdoms, and has done so for centuries, she has had more then enough of men wanting her and thinking she was a good little submissive wife to her husband-brother Rhaegar. Considering she and Rhaegar have been married for the last three years, and within those three years, they had two children already, Visenya who is two name days old and Aegon who is merely six months. Valaena just couldn't wrap her head around why the Potter heir would want her? Especially since she was married with children already and for the fact that she wants nothing more than for the arrogant bully to leave her alone. It was thanks to her that James Potter has not been hurt, or worse, by her guards. They had been sent with her by her father King Aerys, when she decided she wanted to go to Hogwarts for her schooling.
Title: A Blue, Black Shade of Love
Perpetrator: TheWeepingRaven
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: I believe the cover is meant to show off how beautiful our Sue is. She’s dressed in a “modern” dress which is of a maroon color. The shoulders and sleeves are semitransparent with a leaf design.
Summary: “James Potter has been in love with Valaena Targaryen since he first laid eyes on her in first year. Valaena's feelings couldn't be more different towards the boy she considered to be an arrogant toe-rag. When James comes across a mysterious time-turner he stole from his father's office, and turns to Valaena for help, the two are suddenly thrust into an unknown and uncertain future.” The summary is extended inside the story with, “However, beautiful, fierce, and intelligent Valaena doesn't always get what she wants. Even if she is a Princess. Her desire to be not bothered by James Potter this year, is all but denied by the troublemaker that won't take no for an answer. […] When James comes across a mysterious time-turner he stole from his father's office, and turns to Valaena for help, the two are suddenly thrust into an unknown and uncertain future. So many things are different eighteen years from their own time. Severus and Lily are married with children. Severus is a Potion Master's, Lily is the school's Healer, Sirius a Head Auror, Remus the school's history professor, Maddox the potions professor, while Frank and Alice are essentially brain dead. […] So many other people they cared about are dead or traitors. Voldemort is gaining more power by the day and their once safe haven is in danger. The most shocking part of this unexpected trip is the fact that she has a son with the person she despises the most. Not only that, but she and James are dead, by the hands of Lord Voldemort, while trying to protect their son. […] For once, trying to work together is harder than one would think, especially when the duo try desperately to change their futures. With the help of their old and new Hogwarts friends, will they succeed in making James and Valaena fall in love and survive what is to come?”
Full Name: Valaena Targaryen
Species: She’s Harry - I mean Haery’s new mother.
Hair: See markings.
Eyes: See markings.
Markings: “…she brushes away strangs of her silver-gold colored hair that fell into her beautiful violet eyes.”
Possessions: There was a very long list of, “Pairings: James Potter/Original Female Character(s), James Potter/Valaena Targaryen, Rhaegar Targaryen/Original Female Character(s), Rhaegar Targaryen/Valaena Targaryen, Elia Martell/Baelon Targaryen, Sirius Black/Helaena Targaryen, Shaena Targaryen/Einar Arryn, Shaena Targaryen/Original Male Character, Lyanna Stark/Daeron Targaryen, Galeana Targaryen/Aldous Dayne, Alyxaenya Targaryen/Hadrian Lannister, Aemon Targaryen/Walda Frey, Jacaerys Targaryen/Cassiopeia Malfoy, Viserys Targaryen/Margaery Tyrell, Jonaerys Potter/Daenerys Targaryen, Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Jonaerys Potter/Robb Stark, Jon Snow/Robb Stark, Khal Drogo/Visenya Targaryen, Visenya Targaryen/Aegon VI Targaryen, Aegon VI Targaryen/Rhaenys Targaryen, Visenya Targaryen/Rhaenys Targaryen, Visenya Targaryen/Aegon VI Targaryen/Rhaenys Targaryen, Aegon VI Targaryen/Prince, Rhaenys Targaryen/, Sansa Stark/Jaehaerys Targaryen, Ashara Dayne/Ned Stark, Brandon Stark/Catelyn Stark, Robb Stark/Jeyne Westerling, Dean Thomas/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Jaime Lannister, Lavender Brown/Ron Weasley, Fleur Delacour/Bill Weasley, Lorcan d'Eath/Charlie Weasley, Hannah Abbott/Susan Bones, Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood, Arthur Weasley/Molly Weasley, Theon Greyjoy/Daphne Greengrass, Severus Snape/Lily Evans, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Malfoy, Remus Lupin/Marlene McKinnon, Robert Baratheon/Cersei Lannister, Cersei Lannister/Original Male Character, Cersei Lannister/Jayke Lannister, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, Blaise Zabini/Draco Malfoy, Tracey Davis/Sally Ann Perks, etc.”
Connection to Canon: Lily is replaced by an OC who is better than her in every way. (I mean, look at the summary.) The first part of the story involves her bemoaning, well, here is a line from said part. “His little followers are another reason why she can’t stand the Marauder.” Prior to this sentence we get a few paragraphs about why she doesn’t like him, but then paragraphs about how she doesn’t like the others - except, she praise Sirius and Remus and dispraises Peter. In reality, it is so we can get an info dump on certain things like the fact Sirius is to marry her sister Helaena. She then goes back into complaining about James. He’s apparently a womanizer, though him bullying others is a legit reason to not like him. That said, how many people actually cared whether he bullied Snape? For some reason the list now includes “Xenophilius Lovegood, Samara Selwyn, Godric Max and her now ex-best friend Maddox Montague, whom she’d known since her childhood years.” Most of those were OCs, but there’s nothing that says James or anybody bullied Xenophilius. He’s also now also apparently disrespectful towards teachers. (Would you guys argue Fred and George were disrespectful towards their teachers simply because they pranked people? As such, I’m not sure where this is coming from either.) James’ part goes into how much in love he is with her to the point he “…steps closer and leans in, his head dipping closer towards her. He inhales and he can smell Cherry Blossoms, vanilla, and something smokey.” And the writer wants us to root for these two to get together? It’s bad enough this breaks up James and Lilly. He gets close and then - she blurts out that she knows “it’s a time turner meaning you and I need to get as far away from each other as quickly as possible… “ because “…it’s dangerous for two time turners to be around each other at the same time Potter!” We don’t know where they even came from, but this rule about being near each other isn’t canon either. This results in our poor Sue blacking out. We then find out she and James were legally married when she turned fourteen because her father made her, but this is a stark contrast compared to chapter one which takes place in what feels like a modern Hogwarts and this which takes place in an older day. She’s stuck taking care of a toddler, but she also gets to see when she and James dies. We’re also supposed to believe that they eventually end up in the future so that she can see her wonderful son grown up after she’s died so that she’ll be convinced to get together with Potter, yet we’ve also got the issue of her being forced into a marriage in the second chapter which gets dropped very quickly as the writer drops the historical elements of GoT for the modern elements of HP.
Origin: We get the following “Author Note: The main character is an original character, Valaena Targaryen (b. 260 AC), who will be the mother of Harry Potter. As much as I love the relationship of Lily Evans and James Potter, I wanted to do a story with a relationship between an Original Female Character and James Potter. […] Essentially, Harry Potter characters and the Wizarding World's locations (such as buildings and what not) all exist within the Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire Universe. So, such places like Westeros (and the Seven Kingdoms within that continent), Essos, Sothoryos, and Ulthos all exist together with places like Hogwarts, , etc. I imagine it as being located in Valyria, where it was rebuilt with Magic, perhaps cleansed with a ritual, along with other locations that were once doomed and destroyed.” We also get the following “Warnings (Including but not limited to): Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Murder, Attempted Murder, Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Rape, Strong Female Characters, R Plus L Does Not Equal J, Harry Potter is named Jaehaerys Potter, Jon Snow is named Jonaerys Potter, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Jon Snow is a Potter, Jon Snow is Not Called Aegon, Jon Snow Knows Nothing, Jaehaerys Potter is called Haery, Valaena Targaryen is a BAMF, James Potter is a BAMF, Slow Burn, Established Relationships, Incest, Cousin Incest, Sibling Incest, Major Original Female Character(s), Major Original Male Character(s), Intrigue, Political Intrigue, Kings and Queens, Royalty, Court, Espionage, Magic, Witches and Wizards, Pureblood Agendas, Cults and their followers, Death Eaters, Lord Voldemort, etc.”
Special Abilities: We’re supposed to believe not getting your way includes some guy taking no for an answer. We also get the line about how, “it’s like he expects every girl, except for Valaena and Lily, to fall at his feet and kiss the ground he walks on.” Meaning Lily is still in this, but he’s pursuing both of them. Actually, can I bring up the fact there is no evidence Sirius or James are womanizers, but that this characterization of womanizing is a very negative stereotype which shows up in a lot of Mary Sue stories.
Notes: The
Sample:
"What do you want Potter?" Valaena Targaryen demands as she brushes away strands of her silver-gold colored hair that fell into her beautiful violet eyes. She rests her hands sternly on her hips as her eyes look on at James Potter in disapproval. He has been the sole focus of her disdain and antipathy since her first year at Hogwarts when he tried to catch her attention by playing a prank on her. That was the first and last time he ever did a prank on the tall, slim and hot tempered Princess.
James has been infatuated with her since he first laid his hazel eyes on her on the Hogwarts Express' Platform Nine and 3/4. Over time he continues to fall hard for her day after day, year after year. He obsessed over the fiery, intelligent, amazingly gorgeous, and every other compliment he could think up, Princess. He follows her around like a love sick puppy and Valaena hates it.
Valaena has more than enough devoted followers following her around. As one of the Princesses in Westeros and ruling over the Seven Kingdoms, and has done so for centuries, she has had more then enough of men wanting her and thinking she was a good little submissive wife to her husband-brother Rhaegar. Considering she and Rhaegar have been married for the last three years, and within those three years, they had two children already, Visenya who is two name days old and Aegon who is merely six months. Valaena just couldn't wrap her head around why the Potter heir would want her? Especially since she was married with children already and for the fact that she wants nothing more than for the arrogant bully to leave her alone. It was thanks to her that James Potter has not been hurt, or worse, by her guards. They had been sent with her by her father King Aerys, when she decided she wanted to go to Hogwarts for her schooling.