5012: Ash Tree - Harry James Potter and Lithoniel
Title: Ash Tree
Perpetrator: GenkaiFan
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: The writer’s avatar is from an Anime series.
Summary: “After losing the last remnant of his family in his fifth year, Harry decided enough was enough. That summer he left England behind to explore the country side of the emerald isle. Feeling the pull on his tattered magic and soul, Harry discovers a world long forgotten.”
Full Name: Harry James Potter and Lithoniel (that’s the elf’s name I think)
Species: He’s time displaced and she’s to be his elf lover despite the fact the writer openly admits elves don’t exist in the series this is supposed to be a crossover with, but they liked them in another work and decided to add them in.
Hair: Fiery red is her hair.
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Possessions: Apparently Harry is wearing black clothing. Despite the story taking place in 1852 we learn Harry is staying a hostel which apparently costs him around 15 to 35 US dollars. Not only would the cost be much cheaper for him back then we also have the issue of the first hostel which was created for youth in 1909.
Connection to Canon: This story takes place in 1852 because the writer wants the story to take place back then. From what I’ve read of the first chapter I am left with the impression this might be a nice piece of original fiction of the writer did their research, but the character named Harry is Harry in name only. In the second chapter I can’t help but notice the mention of Harry being on a cart path again, but it feels as if the writer was starting over again where they started in chapter one because of the wording. Sadly “meeting the local magical creatures had been surreal.” I don’t understand why this is a case when - as someone from a magical family - Harry should have met magical creatures before. Harry randomly chats with the leprechauns before meeting Jack and we get an info dump regarding how he and his love Kathleen stopped a war among the fairies. The fact Jack is a Muggle isn’t treated as a big deal by Harry, but instead brushed away because “in saving Mother Nature, both he and Kathleen were allowed to keep their knowledge of magic, of nature, and the valley’s magical creatures - good and bad.” He tells them his name is Harry Potter despite the fact they’re Muggle because he’s conveniently lost his parents at fifteen months in this. The faerie royalty are summoned in the third chapter. The Grand Banshee says they’re to help Harry out because he’s dangerous to himself. “That’s why he’s here. His magic pulled him here and he doesn’t know why.” Chapter four sees Harry settling in with no other mention of where he came from. For some reason Harry’s fine with the peat for heat and Jack isn’t because he’s an American and used to central heat. The chapter keeps going into the fact Harry was pulled there for a reason and the magic wants him to do something. I’m not sure this story could stand well on its own as an original fiction piece let alone a fanfic for the series this is crossed with because the plot isn’t progressing very well. I mean, at the end of chapter four we have a faerie party which leads to the beginning of the next chapter. We do learn that his presence is connected to the healing of a scarred tree that needs his magic for healing. Apparently, he’s the key for opening the gate between the worlds which they are apart from and Harry essentially made it so they can get more magic and be healthier. This is where the elves inspired from Mercedes Lackey world comes in because Harry just needs a fiery red-haired elf to romance. The sixth chapter dives into the fact he is falling in love with high elf of all things. He then pretty much gets a vision where he’s talking to the elf and flashes to what happened to him, yet I’m not sure whether to believe this is a time travel fic or not still, yet if it is - that’s not how time travel works in the HP universe. She claims that he is a warrior and renames him Maethorion. Good grief, the last chapter is more moon eyes between our elf and Harry along with angst over all the bad stuff which happened and no real plot.
Origin: “This is a crossover of HP and the mini-series: The Magic World of the Leprechauns (a made for TV mini-series), plus some elements from The SERRAted Edge and The Bedlam Bard series by Mercedes Lackey tossed in. This isn’t a true triple crossover. I just like how Miss Lackey portrayed high elves and wanted to use hers, thus the shout out to her.” Also, why do writers get OC and OOC confused when they write author’s notes out? I agree with the writer “as with any good crossover, there is a story that can be told if you are creative enough”, but being creative doesn’t mean doing whatever. Being creative is about thinking things through carefully.
Special Abilities: We’ve yet another writer who didn’t do their research, but given the reviews I wonder if the writer chalks this up to artistic license rather than what it really is - lazy writing. Apparently the valley was once Elfhame Sun Valley because the writer decided to create an even better kind of faerie folk which overshadows the one from the series HP is crossed over with simply because the writer found the elves from Lackey’s series amazing.
Notes: According to the author’s note. “Lastly, this is the first story I've written without Frau. I was telling her this story while she was recovering from her first heart attack, just before she finally passed away from heart failure, as I was planning on writing it during NaNoWr for 2017. Frau liked to work on only one story at a time, so now it is time to bring it out.”
I also found a note on their profile about how, “Secondly, I also know that my stories are NOT for everyone. You should read some of the reviews I received early on for Poison Pen. They were down right vicious. However, there is no call to leave harsh criticism with no balance of positive feedback.” They follow up by saying two more things. The first is, “Didn’t you ever hear the saying: ‘If you can’t say something nice? Don’t say anything at all?’” and “Personally all I see is people adding to the review counter and nothing else.”
Out of curiosity I decided to look for these reviews. I actually looked through the earlier reviews and found none of these “down right vicious” ones. Worse, when criticism was offered it was balanced out with positive comments. I then went and looked chapter by chapter. The reviewers raised legit issues with the chapter. Even then they’re not vicious as they’re discussing the problems in the work and not the author.
Some of the writer’s supporters of course try and argue that artistic license means the writer can make it so “only in America is there true freedom of the press”. Artistic license does not pardon bad writing, but in this case it does not pardon a statement which makes the writer appear guilty of Americentrism. Yes, they’re from America.
It might be the review mentioned by another reviewer where someone accused the writer of writing slash in regard to Harry and Sirius because Harry hugged the Godfather. I can’t help but think that review was a troll though. Wait, found one - an anonymous one which reads like someone purposefully trolling the writer because they know the writer doesn’t react well to criticism.
Having followed Pottersues for a long time before I took over, I also don’t like the writer’s stance that the reviewer is required to say something positive about a story even if there is nothing positive for the reviewer to say, but they blame the fact the reader can’t find anything positive to say on the reader rather than accepting the fact maybe just maybe the writer really did mess up. That’s how this writer comes across. Or writers, as this appears to be a joint account.
Sample:
Note - Normally I like taking the sample from the first or second chapter, but this one is from the latest chapter.
The Grand Banshee floated down to sit by Seamus and taking the hot gooey sugar bomb. "Don't mind if I do."
Harry played in the fire with his stick as he went over what he knew and what he had been told. "So there is no choice in this?"
"Harry, I know how much your life isn't your own. Two old men have made your life a living hell. Magic, as well as nature, have decreed that both you and Lithôniel need each other. Your magics resonated with each other, very strongly, or magic would not have called you here all the way from England."
Lithôniel leaned against him as she allowed her stick to fall away from her. :I can feel your hurt and need, my warrior mage. I need you just as you need me. Please do not shut me out.:
Harry straightened as he allowed his stick to fall into the fire. Wrapping his arm around her, pulling her close, he sighed. :I hate that choices were taken from me all my life, but you - I could never regret. I think I would still chose you.:
"You know, from time to time," he mused, aloud. "I would dream of a beautiful girl in an old-fashion green velvet gown with long red hair swaying in a breeze. At one time, I thought it was my best friend's sister but now, I realize it was you." He looked down at the lovely elf by his side. "Funny, she's a very pale copy of you."
Everyone laughed as Lithôniel hide her eyes and blush in Harry's side.
Seamus and the leprechauns added more peat to the fire as fire sparks floated up to burn out in the night sky.
Perpetrator: GenkaiFan
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: The writer’s avatar is from an Anime series.
Summary: “After losing the last remnant of his family in his fifth year, Harry decided enough was enough. That summer he left England behind to explore the country side of the emerald isle. Feeling the pull on his tattered magic and soul, Harry discovers a world long forgotten.”
Full Name: Harry James Potter and Lithoniel (that’s the elf’s name I think)
Species: He’s time displaced and she’s to be his elf lover despite the fact the writer openly admits elves don’t exist in the series this is supposed to be a crossover with, but they liked them in another work and decided to add them in.
Hair: Fiery red is her hair.
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Possessions: Apparently Harry is wearing black clothing. Despite the story taking place in 1852 we learn Harry is staying a hostel which apparently costs him around 15 to 35 US dollars. Not only would the cost be much cheaper for him back then we also have the issue of the first hostel which was created for youth in 1909.
Connection to Canon: This story takes place in 1852 because the writer wants the story to take place back then. From what I’ve read of the first chapter I am left with the impression this might be a nice piece of original fiction of the writer did their research, but the character named Harry is Harry in name only. In the second chapter I can’t help but notice the mention of Harry being on a cart path again, but it feels as if the writer was starting over again where they started in chapter one because of the wording. Sadly “meeting the local magical creatures had been surreal.” I don’t understand why this is a case when - as someone from a magical family - Harry should have met magical creatures before. Harry randomly chats with the leprechauns before meeting Jack and we get an info dump regarding how he and his love Kathleen stopped a war among the fairies. The fact Jack is a Muggle isn’t treated as a big deal by Harry, but instead brushed away because “in saving Mother Nature, both he and Kathleen were allowed to keep their knowledge of magic, of nature, and the valley’s magical creatures - good and bad.” He tells them his name is Harry Potter despite the fact they’re Muggle because he’s conveniently lost his parents at fifteen months in this. The faerie royalty are summoned in the third chapter. The Grand Banshee says they’re to help Harry out because he’s dangerous to himself. “That’s why he’s here. His magic pulled him here and he doesn’t know why.” Chapter four sees Harry settling in with no other mention of where he came from. For some reason Harry’s fine with the peat for heat and Jack isn’t because he’s an American and used to central heat. The chapter keeps going into the fact Harry was pulled there for a reason and the magic wants him to do something. I’m not sure this story could stand well on its own as an original fiction piece let alone a fanfic for the series this is crossed with because the plot isn’t progressing very well. I mean, at the end of chapter four we have a faerie party which leads to the beginning of the next chapter. We do learn that his presence is connected to the healing of a scarred tree that needs his magic for healing. Apparently, he’s the key for opening the gate between the worlds which they are apart from and Harry essentially made it so they can get more magic and be healthier. This is where the elves inspired from Mercedes Lackey world comes in because Harry just needs a fiery red-haired elf to romance. The sixth chapter dives into the fact he is falling in love with high elf of all things. He then pretty much gets a vision where he’s talking to the elf and flashes to what happened to him, yet I’m not sure whether to believe this is a time travel fic or not still, yet if it is - that’s not how time travel works in the HP universe. She claims that he is a warrior and renames him Maethorion. Good grief, the last chapter is more moon eyes between our elf and Harry along with angst over all the bad stuff which happened and no real plot.
Origin: “This is a crossover of HP and the mini-series: The Magic World of the Leprechauns (a made for TV mini-series), plus some elements from The SERRAted Edge and The Bedlam Bard series by Mercedes Lackey tossed in. This isn’t a true triple crossover. I just like how Miss Lackey portrayed high elves and wanted to use hers, thus the shout out to her.” Also, why do writers get OC and OOC confused when they write author’s notes out? I agree with the writer “as with any good crossover, there is a story that can be told if you are creative enough”, but being creative doesn’t mean doing whatever. Being creative is about thinking things through carefully.
Special Abilities: We’ve yet another writer who didn’t do their research, but given the reviews I wonder if the writer chalks this up to artistic license rather than what it really is - lazy writing. Apparently the valley was once Elfhame Sun Valley because the writer decided to create an even better kind of faerie folk which overshadows the one from the series HP is crossed over with simply because the writer found the elves from Lackey’s series amazing.
Notes: According to the author’s note. “Lastly, this is the first story I've written without Frau. I was telling her this story while she was recovering from her first heart attack, just before she finally passed away from heart failure, as I was planning on writing it during NaNoWr for 2017. Frau liked to work on only one story at a time, so now it is time to bring it out.”
I also found a note on their profile about how, “Secondly, I also know that my stories are NOT for everyone. You should read some of the reviews I received early on for Poison Pen. They were down right vicious. However, there is no call to leave harsh criticism with no balance of positive feedback.” They follow up by saying two more things. The first is, “Didn’t you ever hear the saying: ‘If you can’t say something nice? Don’t say anything at all?’” and “Personally all I see is people adding to the review counter and nothing else.”
Out of curiosity I decided to look for these reviews. I actually looked through the earlier reviews and found none of these “down right vicious” ones. Worse, when criticism was offered it was balanced out with positive comments. I then went and looked chapter by chapter. The reviewers raised legit issues with the chapter. Even then they’re not vicious as they’re discussing the problems in the work and not the author.
Some of the writer’s supporters of course try and argue that artistic license means the writer can make it so “only in America is there true freedom of the press”. Artistic license does not pardon bad writing, but in this case it does not pardon a statement which makes the writer appear guilty of Americentrism. Yes, they’re from America.
It might be the review mentioned by another reviewer where someone accused the writer of writing slash in regard to Harry and Sirius because Harry hugged the Godfather. I can’t help but think that review was a troll though. Wait, found one - an anonymous one which reads like someone purposefully trolling the writer because they know the writer doesn’t react well to criticism.
Having followed Pottersues for a long time before I took over, I also don’t like the writer’s stance that the reviewer is required to say something positive about a story even if there is nothing positive for the reviewer to say, but they blame the fact the reader can’t find anything positive to say on the reader rather than accepting the fact maybe just maybe the writer really did mess up. That’s how this writer comes across. Or writers, as this appears to be a joint account.
Sample:
Note - Normally I like taking the sample from the first or second chapter, but this one is from the latest chapter.
The Grand Banshee floated down to sit by Seamus and taking the hot gooey sugar bomb. "Don't mind if I do."
Harry played in the fire with his stick as he went over what he knew and what he had been told. "So there is no choice in this?"
"Harry, I know how much your life isn't your own. Two old men have made your life a living hell. Magic, as well as nature, have decreed that both you and Lithôniel need each other. Your magics resonated with each other, very strongly, or magic would not have called you here all the way from England."
Lithôniel leaned against him as she allowed her stick to fall away from her. :I can feel your hurt and need, my warrior mage. I need you just as you need me. Please do not shut me out.:
Harry straightened as he allowed his stick to fall into the fire. Wrapping his arm around her, pulling her close, he sighed. :I hate that choices were taken from me all my life, but you - I could never regret. I think I would still chose you.:
"You know, from time to time," he mused, aloud. "I would dream of a beautiful girl in an old-fashion green velvet gown with long red hair swaying in a breeze. At one time, I thought it was my best friend's sister but now, I realize it was you." He looked down at the lovely elf by his side. "Funny, she's a very pale copy of you."
Everyone laughed as Lithôniel hide her eyes and blush in Harry's side.
Seamus and the leprechauns added more peat to the fire as fire sparks floated up to burn out in the night sky.