5002: Ave and the Prisoner - Avery Whittaker
Title: Ave and the Prisoner
Perpetrator: jlora123
Sue-O-Meter: Awful
Cover/Banner Art: We have a forest with bright green leaves and the title splashed onto the front in bright purple text which is hard to read.
Summary: “It's Ave's first year at Hogwarts, and strange things are happening. She's just found out that she was adopted, a prisoner is on the loose, and magic is everywhere. How's a girl to survive! By being best friends with Harry Potter of course!”
Full Name: Avery Whittaker
Species: I suspect she is Sirius Black’s daughter.
Hair: “While all of them had stick straight, find, dull, brown hair, she had long, thick, black hair that fell in ringlets down her back.”
Eyes: “Where they had eyes in shades of brown, her eyes were sparkling gray.”
Markings: “Where they were tall and thickly built, she was short and lithe.”
Possessions:
Connection to Canon: She plans on getting Doug or Dougie out from under their thumb. In fact, all we have is the letter which she hid and McGonagall coming and getting her.
Origin: We’re supposed to believe that she is the foster child of the Whittakers who are - the parents that is - abusive towards her, though we’re only told this.
Special Abilities: None, so far.
Notes: This is a rewrite of another story I’ll post next. I'm guessing this is another story where Sirius Black has a child and she enters the school, but gets involved, yet the plot barely differs from the original.
Sample:
The nightmare had ended abruptly. One moment, Avery Whittaker was wrapped in its ghastly clutches and the next every single, horrifying detail was slipping away, like water slipping through a cupped hand. The more you tried to grasp it, the more it fell back to where it came from. The nightmare was ephemeral and yet... Avery had the feeling that she should not forget its details so quickly. It had seemed important while she was in it.
She could definitely remember a man with a snake face laughing and a rat and a writhing skull or... Could she? It all seemed rather blurred together. Avery, or Ave as she preferred to be called, put it from her mind. There were bigger things to worry about, such as the fact that, at that very second, she was supposed to be cooking breakfast for her parents and brother.
The clock was blinking 8:47 AM. Ave cursed when she saw the time. Everyday she had to have breakfast made by nine on the dot, or there would be consequences. And those consequences were ones that she hoped to avoid.
"AVERY! BREAKFAST BETTER BE READY BY THE TIME WE GET DOWNSTAIRS! OR SO HELP ME!" The dulcet tones of Mrs. Jessica Whittaker seemed shrill even through the closed door. Ave closed her eyes for a moment, preparing herself for the day to come.
Summer was Ave's least favorite time of year. At least during the school year, Ave could get away and spend the majority of the day at school or at the park nearby her house. The summer however was a different story. Long days were spent in the house, with frayed nerves and careful movements. Careful, careful, careful to never make too much noise. Careful, careful, careful to never draw the attention of her parents, Jessica and Jacob Whittaker, towards whatever she was doing.
Careful, careful, careful.
"AVERY! START BREAKFAST WILL YOU, YOU USELESS LUMP?!" As Mr. Jacob Whittaker bellowed at Ave from across the house, she had to wonder if it was really possible that her parents had forgotten that it was her birthday. It wasn't everyday that one turned eleven, after, but Avery's parents didn't seem to care about the momentous occasion. In fact, they didn't seem to care one whit about anything to do with her.
Perpetrator: jlora123
Sue-O-Meter: Awful
Cover/Banner Art: We have a forest with bright green leaves and the title splashed onto the front in bright purple text which is hard to read.
Summary: “It's Ave's first year at Hogwarts, and strange things are happening. She's just found out that she was adopted, a prisoner is on the loose, and magic is everywhere. How's a girl to survive! By being best friends with Harry Potter of course!”
Full Name: Avery Whittaker
Species: I suspect she is Sirius Black’s daughter.
Hair: “While all of them had stick straight, find, dull, brown hair, she had long, thick, black hair that fell in ringlets down her back.”
Eyes: “Where they had eyes in shades of brown, her eyes were sparkling gray.”
Markings: “Where they were tall and thickly built, she was short and lithe.”
Possessions:
Connection to Canon: She plans on getting Doug or Dougie out from under their thumb. In fact, all we have is the letter which she hid and McGonagall coming and getting her.
Origin: We’re supposed to believe that she is the foster child of the Whittakers who are - the parents that is - abusive towards her, though we’re only told this.
Special Abilities: None, so far.
Notes: This is a rewrite of another story I’ll post next. I'm guessing this is another story where Sirius Black has a child and she enters the school, but gets involved, yet the plot barely differs from the original.
Sample:
The nightmare had ended abruptly. One moment, Avery Whittaker was wrapped in its ghastly clutches and the next every single, horrifying detail was slipping away, like water slipping through a cupped hand. The more you tried to grasp it, the more it fell back to where it came from. The nightmare was ephemeral and yet... Avery had the feeling that she should not forget its details so quickly. It had seemed important while she was in it.
She could definitely remember a man with a snake face laughing and a rat and a writhing skull or... Could she? It all seemed rather blurred together. Avery, or Ave as she preferred to be called, put it from her mind. There were bigger things to worry about, such as the fact that, at that very second, she was supposed to be cooking breakfast for her parents and brother.
The clock was blinking 8:47 AM. Ave cursed when she saw the time. Everyday she had to have breakfast made by nine on the dot, or there would be consequences. And those consequences were ones that she hoped to avoid.
"AVERY! BREAKFAST BETTER BE READY BY THE TIME WE GET DOWNSTAIRS! OR SO HELP ME!" The dulcet tones of Mrs. Jessica Whittaker seemed shrill even through the closed door. Ave closed her eyes for a moment, preparing herself for the day to come.
Summer was Ave's least favorite time of year. At least during the school year, Ave could get away and spend the majority of the day at school or at the park nearby her house. The summer however was a different story. Long days were spent in the house, with frayed nerves and careful movements. Careful, careful, careful to never make too much noise. Careful, careful, careful to never draw the attention of her parents, Jessica and Jacob Whittaker, towards whatever she was doing.
Careful, careful, careful.
"AVERY! START BREAKFAST WILL YOU, YOU USELESS LUMP?!" As Mr. Jacob Whittaker bellowed at Ave from across the house, she had to wonder if it was really possible that her parents had forgotten that it was her birthday. It wasn't everyday that one turned eleven, after, but Avery's parents didn't seem to care about the momentous occasion. In fact, they didn't seem to care one whit about anything to do with her.