4496: Partners - A Marauders What-If - Callie Potter
Title: Partners - A Marauders What-If
Perpetrator: Syilline
Sue-O-Meter: Bad
Cover/Banner Art:
Summary: “What if Sirius Black is forced to join the Auror Office - taking it by storm? What if Voldemort never killed James and Lily? What if the First Wizarding War is ongoing, but the tides have turned? And what if James Potter has a little sister, six years his junior, who is just beginning her carrier? This is an exercise in "What-If."”
Full Name: Callie Potter
Species: James Potter
Hair: The writer is really good at describing other characters, but not their OC.
Eyes: See above.
Markings: Nothing specific.
Possessions: Nothing stood out.
Connection to Canon: The first chapter introduces us to Callie Potter and we get comparisons to the CIA. (Why not the British equivalent? Why is it the American spy agency they learned from?) She runs into Sirius Black. He is in charge of training her. Chapter two is training. Chapter three involves him visiting his family home and her hearing the portrait. She also gets a glimpse into Sirius’ past. Some character named Elizabeth dies and makes Callie more determined between the forth and fifth chapters. Voldemot is out and about in chapter six and she comes to face him. They talk about him coming back in the seventh chapter.
Origin: Apparently this is an exercise in “What-if”.
Special Abilities: This one was really, really close to getting a Good or Okay rating.
Notes: Is this an exercise in “What-If” as the writer claims? I didn’t feel the writer was really exploring the “What-ifs”, but that the “What-ifs” are there more as convenient plot devices. That said, a little work and this could very easily be a Good or Okay, yet this is also amazingly the writers first fanfic.
Sample:
Callie Potter stepped out of the elevator, steeling herself and steadying her trembling hands. This was it. This was the day her life changed forever… if she lived long enough. She walked across the hallway, knees nearly knocking, took a deep breath, and opened the door labeled: "Auror Office".
She was struck by the noise and bustle of the enormous room, like the Daily Prophet after a major incident. People shouted over each other, ran around the room carrying parchment and quills and sporting injuries, some of which looked nasty. She approached the nearest desk, clutching a portfolio. "Excuse me," she said. The woman looked up, her eyes discerning but not unkind. "I'm Callie Potter, and I'm here to-"
"Oh, you're the new girl!" The woman stood up, smiling, and extended her hand. "Denise Wilde. Pleasure to meet you. I assume you haven't met your Supervising Officer yet?"
Callie shook Denise's hand and returned the smile. "No, I haven't. I'm not even sure who it is."
Denise took the portfolio from her hands and opened it. She scanned several lines, grinned, and handed it back. "Lucky you. He's over there." She pointed to a desk several yards away, behind which a man sat studying a report. "I'll warn you, though: He believes strongly in the sink or swim method."
"He looks nice enough," Callie muttered to herself.
Denise's grin widened. "Oh, he is. Reformed the whole bloody office, he did. Took ideas from the Muggle MI-6 and CIA, I think. You'd best keep on your toes, though."
Perpetrator: Syilline
Sue-O-Meter: Bad
Cover/Banner Art:
Summary: “What if Sirius Black is forced to join the Auror Office - taking it by storm? What if Voldemort never killed James and Lily? What if the First Wizarding War is ongoing, but the tides have turned? And what if James Potter has a little sister, six years his junior, who is just beginning her carrier? This is an exercise in "What-If."”
Full Name: Callie Potter
Species: James Potter
Hair: The writer is really good at describing other characters, but not their OC.
Eyes: See above.
Markings: Nothing specific.
Possessions: Nothing stood out.
Connection to Canon: The first chapter introduces us to Callie Potter and we get comparisons to the CIA. (Why not the British equivalent? Why is it the American spy agency they learned from?) She runs into Sirius Black. He is in charge of training her. Chapter two is training. Chapter three involves him visiting his family home and her hearing the portrait. She also gets a glimpse into Sirius’ past. Some character named Elizabeth dies and makes Callie more determined between the forth and fifth chapters. Voldemot is out and about in chapter six and she comes to face him. They talk about him coming back in the seventh chapter.
Origin: Apparently this is an exercise in “What-if”.
Special Abilities: This one was really, really close to getting a Good or Okay rating.
Notes: Is this an exercise in “What-If” as the writer claims? I didn’t feel the writer was really exploring the “What-ifs”, but that the “What-ifs” are there more as convenient plot devices. That said, a little work and this could very easily be a Good or Okay, yet this is also amazingly the writers first fanfic.
Sample:
Callie Potter stepped out of the elevator, steeling herself and steadying her trembling hands. This was it. This was the day her life changed forever… if she lived long enough. She walked across the hallway, knees nearly knocking, took a deep breath, and opened the door labeled: "Auror Office".
She was struck by the noise and bustle of the enormous room, like the Daily Prophet after a major incident. People shouted over each other, ran around the room carrying parchment and quills and sporting injuries, some of which looked nasty. She approached the nearest desk, clutching a portfolio. "Excuse me," she said. The woman looked up, her eyes discerning but not unkind. "I'm Callie Potter, and I'm here to-"
"Oh, you're the new girl!" The woman stood up, smiling, and extended her hand. "Denise Wilde. Pleasure to meet you. I assume you haven't met your Supervising Officer yet?"
Callie shook Denise's hand and returned the smile. "No, I haven't. I'm not even sure who it is."
Denise took the portfolio from her hands and opened it. She scanned several lines, grinned, and handed it back. "Lucky you. He's over there." She pointed to a desk several yards away, behind which a man sat studying a report. "I'll warn you, though: He believes strongly in the sink or swim method."
"He looks nice enough," Callie muttered to herself.
Denise's grin widened. "Oh, he is. Reformed the whole bloody office, he did. Took ideas from the Muggle MI-6 and CIA, I think. You'd best keep on your toes, though."