4211: Faith And The Devil - Victoria Malfoy
Title: Faith And The Devil
Perpetrator: Lapsed Pacifist
Sue-O-Meter: Good
Cover/Banner Art: None
Summary: “This is an extremely girly self-insert, very likely a Mary-Sue type of story, where a lot of the characters aren't at all straight. I thought I'd let you know straight up so you can just pass it by it if that's likely to upset and/or offend you. Otherwise - welcome to the Malfoy family.”
Full Name: Victoria Malfoy (At least I believe that’s her name from the reviews.)
Species: She’s a dimensionally displaced Malfoy child, and Draco’s lost older sister.
Hair: Black. She thinks of Lucious, “I’d be asking questions about Narcissa’s extramarital activities., if I was him.”
Eyes:
Markings:
Possessions: The Malfoy’s aren’t concerned about her appearance in the world, but other things, such as the fact her clothing has profanity on it. Her pajamas say “LET’S NAP MOTHERFUCKER”. “accompanied by a picture of a sleeping kitten.”
Connection to Canon: The first chapter is called “A Disappointing Breakfast”. The writer managed somehow to pull off something other writers fail at. They made the character’s meal a part of the plot and character development. So, I think I’ll hold off calling her a Mary Sue just yet. An earthquake hits, and the character ends up falling into fandom. I think she literally falls into the Malfoy home, or they bring her there after her passing out. Now, normally I’d say “be suspicious of the strange girl Malfoy’s”, except the self-insert actually has a believable reaction, and I must admit finding a child in need would take precedent over suspicions of anything wrong. Of course, it’s also later on explained why they’re not upset at her appearance as they have a hand in it, and they’re far more upset she wants to go back and live with the Muggles of the other realm. (
Origin: The writer admits to writing a self-insert, and the story possibly being a Mary Sue. We learn her parents sent her to another realm, one without magic, to get her away from war, but they brought her back. Because of this she de-ages to her real age, as time passes differently in the two realms. She studied criminology. According to the writer, “this story’s not got much of a plot, and certainly contains very few power fantasies, unless you consider the power to consume gluten a really serious thing”. Except, I disagree with the writer on two things. First, I don’t agree what I’ve read of just the first chapter that this story doesn’t have a plot. I’ve read plenty of those, even featured them. (It’s not the type of story I’d put the SWP tag on, but I’m going to for this entry because I think this one is a good example of how to do the kind of plot so many SWPs I’ve featured end up failing at.) I also disagree that this is a Mary Sue, but feel it’s an example of how to pull off traits associated with Mary Sues and not have an actual Mary Sue.
Special Abilities: The character has a gluten issue, but also wears glasses. Is it just me, or do these come across as actual flaws in this story? The character also has a panic attack in the first chapter, whereas most OCs would be taking everything in stride. Her reason for staying is she gets to eat bread. I know the last sentence sounds bad, yet the writer pulled it off.
Notes: There’s something to be said about an author who has the guts to admit something they’ve written is a Mary Sue, or at least likely. Why though is it that the ones who admit their story might be a Mary Sue are the ones which are most likely not a Mary Sue? Of course, I admit this judgement is based off just one chapter. I’m going to go and read the rest after I post this entry, but for my write up I want to perk people’s interest in checking this one out, particularly any of the Suethor’s who do take the time to look at the Good rating.
Also, I'm guessing from the summary that the story will feature LGBT characters, so that's an added plus.
Sample:
It was eleven AM on a Saturday and I was sitting at the desk, spreading a disappointing Vegemite substitute across an equally disappointing piece of gluten free toast. The only thing that wasn't innately disappointing was that I'd made a very good cup of tea. It was still steaming in my giant, garish mug and I was counting on it to make this breakfast worth getting up for.
That was when everything began to tremble, a fine juddering shudder that got bigger and bigger. My knife fell from the table.
I snatched up my mug and, clutching it, looked wildly around.
What was it you were supposed to do in an earthquake? Was it to get clear of things? Or hide under something? Under, I thought, in case something fell on you, and dived underneath the desk.
The shaking just got worse. I saw my disappointing breakfast fling itself past my ear and dive, Vegemite substitute-side down, for the floor. The plate followed, and ceramic shattered.
Something else broke. A bottle of gin committed a suicidal leap from the top of my refrigerator. I trembled.
Everything went white.
I woke up. From the dull ache all over my body and the pounding in my head, that was definitely my first mistake.
"...thhhquake?" I muttered, squinting at -
Nothing, actually. Everything was a blur. Where the hell were my glasses?
Perpetrator: Lapsed Pacifist
Sue-O-Meter: Good
Cover/Banner Art: None
Summary: “This is an extremely girly self-insert, very likely a Mary-Sue type of story, where a lot of the characters aren't at all straight. I thought I'd let you know straight up so you can just pass it by it if that's likely to upset and/or offend you. Otherwise - welcome to the Malfoy family.”
Full Name: Victoria Malfoy (At least I believe that’s her name from the reviews.)
Species: She’s a dimensionally displaced Malfoy child, and Draco’s lost older sister.
Hair: Black. She thinks of Lucious, “I’d be asking questions about Narcissa’s extramarital activities., if I was him.”
Eyes:
Markings:
Possessions: The Malfoy’s aren’t concerned about her appearance in the world, but other things, such as the fact her clothing has profanity on it. Her pajamas say “LET’S NAP MOTHERFUCKER”. “accompanied by a picture of a sleeping kitten.”
Connection to Canon: The first chapter is called “A Disappointing Breakfast”. The writer managed somehow to pull off something other writers fail at. They made the character’s meal a part of the plot and character development. So, I think I’ll hold off calling her a Mary Sue just yet. An earthquake hits, and the character ends up falling into fandom. I think she literally falls into the Malfoy home, or they bring her there after her passing out. Now, normally I’d say “be suspicious of the strange girl Malfoy’s”, except the self-insert actually has a believable reaction, and I must admit finding a child in need would take precedent over suspicions of anything wrong. Of course, it’s also later on explained why they’re not upset at her appearance as they have a hand in it, and they’re far more upset she wants to go back and live with the Muggles of the other realm. (
Origin: The writer admits to writing a self-insert, and the story possibly being a Mary Sue. We learn her parents sent her to another realm, one without magic, to get her away from war, but they brought her back. Because of this she de-ages to her real age, as time passes differently in the two realms. She studied criminology. According to the writer, “this story’s not got much of a plot, and certainly contains very few power fantasies, unless you consider the power to consume gluten a really serious thing”. Except, I disagree with the writer on two things. First, I don’t agree what I’ve read of just the first chapter that this story doesn’t have a plot. I’ve read plenty of those, even featured them. (It’s not the type of story I’d put the SWP tag on, but I’m going to for this entry because I think this one is a good example of how to do the kind of plot so many SWPs I’ve featured end up failing at.) I also disagree that this is a Mary Sue, but feel it’s an example of how to pull off traits associated with Mary Sues and not have an actual Mary Sue.
Special Abilities: The character has a gluten issue, but also wears glasses. Is it just me, or do these come across as actual flaws in this story? The character also has a panic attack in the first chapter, whereas most OCs would be taking everything in stride. Her reason for staying is she gets to eat bread. I know the last sentence sounds bad, yet the writer pulled it off.
Notes: There’s something to be said about an author who has the guts to admit something they’ve written is a Mary Sue, or at least likely. Why though is it that the ones who admit their story might be a Mary Sue are the ones which are most likely not a Mary Sue? Of course, I admit this judgement is based off just one chapter. I’m going to go and read the rest after I post this entry, but for my write up I want to perk people’s interest in checking this one out, particularly any of the Suethor’s who do take the time to look at the Good rating.
Also, I'm guessing from the summary that the story will feature LGBT characters, so that's an added plus.
Sample:
It was eleven AM on a Saturday and I was sitting at the desk, spreading a disappointing Vegemite substitute across an equally disappointing piece of gluten free toast. The only thing that wasn't innately disappointing was that I'd made a very good cup of tea. It was still steaming in my giant, garish mug and I was counting on it to make this breakfast worth getting up for.
That was when everything began to tremble, a fine juddering shudder that got bigger and bigger. My knife fell from the table.
I snatched up my mug and, clutching it, looked wildly around.
What was it you were supposed to do in an earthquake? Was it to get clear of things? Or hide under something? Under, I thought, in case something fell on you, and dived underneath the desk.
The shaking just got worse. I saw my disappointing breakfast fling itself past my ear and dive, Vegemite substitute-side down, for the floor. The plate followed, and ceramic shattered.
Something else broke. A bottle of gin committed a suicidal leap from the top of my refrigerator. I trembled.
Everything went white.
I woke up. From the dull ache all over my body and the pounding in my head, that was definitely my first mistake.
"...thhhquake?" I muttered, squinting at -
Nothing, actually. Everything was a blur. Where the hell were my glasses?