4205: The Rise of New Darkness - Aaron Zakhorov
Title: The Rise of New Darkness
Perpetrator: aaron.zakhorov
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: Their avatar is this green AMD thing.
Summary: “Four years after the Dark Lord's disappearance, a new prophecy foretelling the coming a new Dark Lord emerges. Dumbledore rushes to act on it. Has he succeeded? Or has he fallen for the same trap as Voldemort and unleashed a horrible new darkness? Good!Snape, Manipulative!Dumbledore, Powerful but not Mary-Sue OC”
Full Name: Aaron Zakhorov
Species: The character is the writer’s super evil self-insert.
Hair: See markings for his hair.
Eyes: His eyes are blue.
Markings: “Four years of eating full meals and doses of growth potions had done wonders for the boy. He was now tall enough to pass off as two or three years older than 11 and his body was toned and healthy. His hair fell just below his neck framing his face in a pair of jet black silky curtains.” Sorry, but an eleven-year-old now looking fourteen is not a good thing, but for some reason I suspect the writer may be fourteen.
Possessions: His father Emmanuel has a Thunderbird which communicates with his father telepathically. The creature is named Greyhawk, but his wife is named Cassiopeia. He’s heir to both the house of Zakhrov and Black. He has 4,400,000,000 Galleons, 2,200,000 Sickles, and 1,100,000 Knuts in the family vault, but 100,000 Galleons, 50,000 Sickles and 10,000 Knuts in his trust vault. He gets a wand which “Ollivander called that wand a weapon of pain and death.”
Connection to Canon: We’ve got a Copy Cat Sue on our hands, but with an evil bent. Sybill announces his birth as the new Dark Lord in the first chapter. Fawkes shows up and does battle with Greyhawk the Thunderbird, and Dumbledore effectively kidnaps Aaron. Worse, Dumbledore kills Aaron’s parents. He takes the boy to St. Kathryn’s Orphanage where Aaron gets beat up by everyone and called Satan and is treated like devil incarnate. For some reason the letters are not arriving in 1997 to Harry’s house.. Suddenly, the magical binding on Aaron that Dumbledore placed on him breaks, and the orphanage explodes. The Greengrass family take him in, and give him growth portions. We get one of those stupid wills the goblins read off. He doesn’t act like an eleven-year-old either. When getting his wand, he ends up injuring someone and this is considered okay. Dumbledore meanwhile wants to bring Aaron under his control, but there is no clue regarding where Harry is. There’s a second chapter, but no real plot.
Origin: The writer is self-inserting themselves, but honestly doesn’t think their character is a Mary Sue. Technically, they’re right. Aaron’s a Gary Stu. Jokes aside, there is no way this one is not a Mary Sue.
Special Abilities: He has a prophesy that says he’ll be a Dark Lord when he’s born. “…Aaron Zakhrov’s magical core was reindoced by both his parent’s and the thunderbirds.”
Notes: When I see “not a Mary Sue” or something similar in the title, I start to suspect a Mary Sue. What other reason do you have to warn your readers that the character isn’t a Mary Sue unless you’ve got good reason to think readers would think otherwise.
Sample:
"It will Happen tonight!" Professor Trelawney said in a harsh, hoarse voice. A monitoring charm went off and Albus Dumbledore burst into her small tower classroom in a flash of flames.
"Tonight a new Dark Lord shall rise. Born tonight to an ancient house with no ties to the light. The light shall shun him, the dark shall embrace him. Tonight a new Dark Lord shall rise"
Professor Trelawney collapsed to the ground after she completed reciting the prophecy leaving Dumbledore very very worried. He immediately went to the great Hogwarts Ledger which recorded the births of all magical children in the UK.
Today only 1 child's name magically appeared in the ledger, Aaron Zakhrov. Fear coursed through Dumbledore's veins. The House of Zakhrov was very secretive, even more secretive than House Potter which he had successfully managed to manipulate into his willing pawns during the Voldemort's reign of terror. Unlike James Potter and Sirius Black, Lord Emmanuel Zakhrov did not attend Hogwarts, in fact none of the Zakhrovs did, they preferred home schooling or even the Durmstrang Institute. The only link to Hogwarts Dumbledore could find was through Lady Cassiopeia Zakhrov nee Black, Sirius' little sister.
St. Mungo's Hospital September 3 1990
Lady Zakhrov lay weak in a private maternity ward with her little son Aaron sleeping by her side, her husband Emmanuel was dosing in the chair by the bed. Thunder and lightning crashed outside and heavy rain lashed the windows.
"Danger approaches my friend" The telepathic warning from Emmanuel's Thunderbird familiar jolted him awake.
Flames erupted in the center of the room exposing a tall hooded figure in black, wand drawn and alight as anti-apparation and anti-portkey wards activated.
Emmanuel sprang to his feet, wand drawn and placed himself between the intruder and his wife and son.
"Who are you?" he asked
"I mean you no harm" replied the hooded figure in a deep resonant voice. "I am here for the boy"
Without warning, a jet of green light shot from the intruder's wand, Cassiopeia reacted just in time and conjured a large block of marble in its path. The curse shattered the marble but dissipated inches from the infant Aaron's face.
Perpetrator: aaron.zakhorov
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: Their avatar is this green AMD thing.
Summary: “Four years after the Dark Lord's disappearance, a new prophecy foretelling the coming a new Dark Lord emerges. Dumbledore rushes to act on it. Has he succeeded? Or has he fallen for the same trap as Voldemort and unleashed a horrible new darkness? Good!Snape, Manipulative!Dumbledore, Powerful but not Mary-Sue OC”
Full Name: Aaron Zakhorov
Species: The character is the writer’s super evil self-insert.
Hair: See markings for his hair.
Eyes: His eyes are blue.
Markings: “Four years of eating full meals and doses of growth potions had done wonders for the boy. He was now tall enough to pass off as two or three years older than 11 and his body was toned and healthy. His hair fell just below his neck framing his face in a pair of jet black silky curtains.” Sorry, but an eleven-year-old now looking fourteen is not a good thing, but for some reason I suspect the writer may be fourteen.
Possessions: His father Emmanuel has a Thunderbird which communicates with his father telepathically. The creature is named Greyhawk, but his wife is named Cassiopeia. He’s heir to both the house of Zakhrov and Black. He has 4,400,000,000 Galleons, 2,200,000 Sickles, and 1,100,000 Knuts in the family vault, but 100,000 Galleons, 50,000 Sickles and 10,000 Knuts in his trust vault. He gets a wand which “Ollivander called that wand a weapon of pain and death.”
Connection to Canon: We’ve got a Copy Cat Sue on our hands, but with an evil bent. Sybill announces his birth as the new Dark Lord in the first chapter. Fawkes shows up and does battle with Greyhawk the Thunderbird, and Dumbledore effectively kidnaps Aaron. Worse, Dumbledore kills Aaron’s parents. He takes the boy to St. Kathryn’s Orphanage where Aaron gets beat up by everyone and called Satan and is treated like devil incarnate. For some reason the letters are not arriving in 1997 to Harry’s house.. Suddenly, the magical binding on Aaron that Dumbledore placed on him breaks, and the orphanage explodes. The Greengrass family take him in, and give him growth portions. We get one of those stupid wills the goblins read off. He doesn’t act like an eleven-year-old either. When getting his wand, he ends up injuring someone and this is considered okay. Dumbledore meanwhile wants to bring Aaron under his control, but there is no clue regarding where Harry is. There’s a second chapter, but no real plot.
Origin: The writer is self-inserting themselves, but honestly doesn’t think their character is a Mary Sue. Technically, they’re right. Aaron’s a Gary Stu. Jokes aside, there is no way this one is not a Mary Sue.
Special Abilities: He has a prophesy that says he’ll be a Dark Lord when he’s born. “…Aaron Zakhrov’s magical core was reindoced by both his parent’s and the thunderbirds.”
Notes: When I see “not a Mary Sue” or something similar in the title, I start to suspect a Mary Sue. What other reason do you have to warn your readers that the character isn’t a Mary Sue unless you’ve got good reason to think readers would think otherwise.
Sample:
"It will Happen tonight!" Professor Trelawney said in a harsh, hoarse voice. A monitoring charm went off and Albus Dumbledore burst into her small tower classroom in a flash of flames.
"Tonight a new Dark Lord shall rise. Born tonight to an ancient house with no ties to the light. The light shall shun him, the dark shall embrace him. Tonight a new Dark Lord shall rise"
Professor Trelawney collapsed to the ground after she completed reciting the prophecy leaving Dumbledore very very worried. He immediately went to the great Hogwarts Ledger which recorded the births of all magical children in the UK.
Today only 1 child's name magically appeared in the ledger, Aaron Zakhrov. Fear coursed through Dumbledore's veins. The House of Zakhrov was very secretive, even more secretive than House Potter which he had successfully managed to manipulate into his willing pawns during the Voldemort's reign of terror. Unlike James Potter and Sirius Black, Lord Emmanuel Zakhrov did not attend Hogwarts, in fact none of the Zakhrovs did, they preferred home schooling or even the Durmstrang Institute. The only link to Hogwarts Dumbledore could find was through Lady Cassiopeia Zakhrov nee Black, Sirius' little sister.
St. Mungo's Hospital September 3 1990
Lady Zakhrov lay weak in a private maternity ward with her little son Aaron sleeping by her side, her husband Emmanuel was dosing in the chair by the bed. Thunder and lightning crashed outside and heavy rain lashed the windows.
"Danger approaches my friend" The telepathic warning from Emmanuel's Thunderbird familiar jolted him awake.
Flames erupted in the center of the room exposing a tall hooded figure in black, wand drawn and alight as anti-apparation and anti-portkey wards activated.
Emmanuel sprang to his feet, wand drawn and placed himself between the intruder and his wife and son.
"Who are you?" he asked
"I mean you no harm" replied the hooded figure in a deep resonant voice. "I am here for the boy"
Without warning, a jet of green light shot from the intruder's wand, Cassiopeia reacted just in time and conjured a large block of marble in its path. The curse shattered the marble but dissipated inches from the infant Aaron's face.