4200 - Type Earth Revised - Naruto Uzumaki
Title: Type Earth Revised
Perpetrator: TheJesterShade
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: Their avatar is a picture of Naruto in Sage mode.
Summary: “Naruto saved the Elemental Nations from the plans of an unhinged Goddess. Then again from a crazy blind guy that plays with puppets and lives on the moon. Then a third time from two planet eating, cannibal douches. Little did he know that this was going to be routine. "I'm getting to old for this". Au/Ooc-ness/Op-Naruto”
Full Name: Naruto Uzumaki
Species: He’s a divine deity.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: He ends up with the Tenseigan and Sharigan because the writer does not understand God Mode Stus are boring, but that what they’re writing is a flat character with no personality what-so-ever.
Markings: I read the one chapter about three times and didn’t pick up anything specific, but I honestly found reading through 9,000 words in one go instead of 4,500 an annoyance. On the positive side, it does not seem this one has Stephanie Meyer’s problem with similar words which do not mean the same thing. Still, the way the writer wastes words within their word count is still not a good thing. They’re way to stuck on trying to write the most epic fanfic ever, but not thinking what an epic fanfic entails. For example, a true epic fanfic won’t God Mode the canon characters.
Possessions: Again, nothing stood out in that painful info dump, but I’m sure I missed something.
Connection to Canon: None. The writer is pretty much taking the things they like from various canons, writing original fiction and passing it off as fanfiction. The first chapter involves a very painful info dump, of which I’ve included part in the sample. Yes, the writer really did put certain things in bold, much to my annoyance. What’s really bad is, I’m struggling to understand what’s going on, at least in regards to tying it back to the canon material. The beginning starts off with world building, or more of smashing a ton of different canon material together. I think the first paragraph references DC material. (Which, this story is marked as a Naruto and Harry Potter crossover. We’re told the mythos, which really has nothing to do with the mythos of DC, Naruto or Harry Potter. Think kind of like Lord of the Rings, but more of what Tolkien did to existing mythology to create his own world. It takes around a dozen paragraphs until we get to Naruto’s introduction, and we’re presented with how amazing Naruto is. “He was Uzumaki Naruto, the Chosen One, Child of Prophecy, Greatest of the Hokage, Jinchuriki of the Biju, God Eater and Destroyer of Worlds. All of these titles mean nothing anymore, no one even remembered the time when they meant something. Well, no one but him it seemed.” Meaning we get another story where and existing character is dumped into a world which isn’t their own just because the writer can. (This is about a third of the first chapter, which the two chapters combined are around 10k.) The writer decided to give Naruto “a combination of the Tenseigan and Sharigan” just because they can which they call the “reincarnation eye” because he’s a - according to the writer - “a divine entity”. We then get an info dump on this, and how he can travel to new dimensions.
Origin: “[Warning] AU and OOC-ness. Multi-crossover, Universe hopping, Alternate timelines. Naruto canon will be slightly different, slight changes to curtain events and such. But most will be the same and any changes will be mentioned in passing, but it isn't really important just say it's there. The most prominent change is the addition of Characters/ Groups/ Ideas/ Concepts and Abilities from other material. They will have some roll in the story, even if it's just to broaden the unfortunately narrow world. Not everything I include will have the entirety of its universe come along. I might take and re-purpose an ability or group to fit my story. So when you see Kido( which you will) don't expect Bleach's story as a whole to be shown. I might add favorite Characters to have a part in my tale, but they will actual be good for something and not just random fanfare.” Why does this not bode well? What else is there? A very painful nothing for the first chapter. Only for me to find out the second chapter is an author’s note. Meaning that the writer spent an entire 9,000 words info dumping a bunc of annoying stuff.
Special Abilities: Not caring that each fandom has rules, but these rules actually - contrary to what the writer may think - actually makes the characters interesting as well as the fandom, because said rules help give the characters limits, and characters with limits are far more interesting than not. We also get this author’s note for the second chapter. “Yes this is an Arthur's Note. Yes it's against the rules to post one by itself. But oh well, this is the only way to get the info out there. […] So I've been thinking this over and I feel my best course of action is to completely retcon this. As a lot of you say it's confusing, I'll try and set up a base before getting more complected. So instead of it being in the larger Dc universe it will now be in the Marvel, mostly because I feel that Marvel's darker tone will fit better. It won't be the MCU exactly but that will factor in. Also there will be piece of Dc filter through, like Characters and such, but it won't be a complete mix of the two as I've never really liked those. They don't, in my opinion, mesh well. […] Anywhore, Naruto will be reborn into this new Universe. His personality will be very different. He'll have his trademarked will of fire but he'll be intelligent as well. He'll also be Out of Character if you will. But if you want a Naruto that's exactly like Kishimoto's then you've come to the wrong website. […] Harry Potter's Universe is going to be the focus for the first 'Book' if you will then it will be extended to the greater Marvel vers. Which will include but not be limited too; Buffy, Angel, Charmed, and Small bits of others. Things Like Characters and Spells etc. […] The story will be under the Same name...Type Earth. And I'm working on it as a type this. […] Oh and Naruto will be OP, fair warning. […] If you have questions, suggestions, idea's Pm me. If I like it or it fits in to my vague idea of a storyline then I'll use it and credit you.”
Notes: OoC warnings do not stop me from featuring a story, but instead end up encouraging me to feature said story. Typically when a writer gives the OoC warning, the stories are pretty bad, and not just because of the OoCness. This one - obvious original fiction and info dump.
The writer says on their profile, “most if not all my stories are AU… I shouldn’t have to say this because you should expect it. The kind of obvious hint is that it’s on FanFiction.” I’m not understanding how this is an obvious hint as not all fanfic is AU, but in this case what they’ve written isn’t fanfic either. However, the writer says, “a couple of reviewers complained about my ooc Naruto. He is, in my opinion still Naruto. He just has different experiences thus a different personality. His base personality traits are the same as I listed above.”
No, Suethor, using base character archetypes does not the character make. Naruto is not the only character with said traits, and if that is the only connection you are not writing the character. Then again, this one said their stories being AU should be obvious yet doesn’t understand what they’re writing isn’t even fanfic anymore. Saying it is, doesn’t make it so.
Sample:
Mamaragan, also known as The Wizard and Shazam, sat at his throne on the Rock of Eternity. This God from Dreaming was old, nine thousand years old to be exact. He had spent his entire life fighting evil and guarding the Seven Deadly Sins, all in the hope for a better world.
He along with several other Gods sat on a council, which had the self-appointed task of controlling and governing the flow of energy coming from Akasha. Which in modern times is best and more widely known as Magic.
This meta-physical plane, also known as the Swirl of the Root, The Source, Spiral of Origin, or Vortex of Radix, was the origin of existence. It is the source of all events and phenomena across every dimension and time. It exists outside of time, storing and archiving possibilities and events, past, present and future, of the world. Which was also why it is referred to as 'Outside the World'.
It is the place all souls, even Heroic Spirits recorded on the Throne of Heroes, originate from and where they go after death.
He and his council judged those who wielded the Arcane Arts and punished those that they felt deserved such. They started out wanting to purge the world of evil and injustice.
Unfortunately, he could only keep it from getting any worse. There will always be evil, it was an undisputed fact of the world. He was just to young and naive at the time to truly realize it. There is good, therefore so must there be evil. Balance in all things. So there had to always be a guardian, A Shazam. He had fared well, to be honest, being a god as old as he was with no worshipers to keep him sustained. But he was ready to trade his position to someone else.
Alas, he was also very hesitant. The last time he had empowered someone they had let it go to their head. Teth-Adam was a mistake he didn't wish to repeat. Having chosen him solely on his combat ability, disregarding his substance as a person. Which really showed itself once he killed the others on the council leaving Mamaragan the sole member. So instead of a choosing someone with just great strength, he'd find someone with great believes as well.
The Wizard had studied many, many 'Heroes' of the current millennium. Unfortunately, many of them he found...lacking. But he wouldn't settle, he would find the one most fit even if he required help to do it. He decided to ask the Great Mother Gaea for her personal opinion. She responded by showing him someone that...took his breath away.
With all he experienced he was a man far before modern society would have recognized him as such. He started out quite childish and obnoxious, but it could be excused with the absence of any parental figures. He was sabotaged from the very beginning due to fear and hatred, but over came such trivial matters. He showed an indomitable resolve, being the very personification of his people's ideology...The Will of Fire.
Perpetrator: TheJesterShade
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: Their avatar is a picture of Naruto in Sage mode.
Summary: “Naruto saved the Elemental Nations from the plans of an unhinged Goddess. Then again from a crazy blind guy that plays with puppets and lives on the moon. Then a third time from two planet eating, cannibal douches. Little did he know that this was going to be routine. "I'm getting to old for this". Au/Ooc-ness/Op-Naruto”
Full Name: Naruto Uzumaki
Species: He’s a divine deity.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: He ends up with the Tenseigan and Sharigan because the writer does not understand God Mode Stus are boring, but that what they’re writing is a flat character with no personality what-so-ever.
Markings: I read the one chapter about three times and didn’t pick up anything specific, but I honestly found reading through 9,000 words in one go instead of 4,500 an annoyance. On the positive side, it does not seem this one has Stephanie Meyer’s problem with similar words which do not mean the same thing. Still, the way the writer wastes words within their word count is still not a good thing. They’re way to stuck on trying to write the most epic fanfic ever, but not thinking what an epic fanfic entails. For example, a true epic fanfic won’t God Mode the canon characters.
Possessions: Again, nothing stood out in that painful info dump, but I’m sure I missed something.
Connection to Canon: None. The writer is pretty much taking the things they like from various canons, writing original fiction and passing it off as fanfiction. The first chapter involves a very painful info dump, of which I’ve included part in the sample. Yes, the writer really did put certain things in bold, much to my annoyance. What’s really bad is, I’m struggling to understand what’s going on, at least in regards to tying it back to the canon material. The beginning starts off with world building, or more of smashing a ton of different canon material together. I think the first paragraph references DC material. (Which, this story is marked as a Naruto and Harry Potter crossover. We’re told the mythos, which really has nothing to do with the mythos of DC, Naruto or Harry Potter. Think kind of like Lord of the Rings, but more of what Tolkien did to existing mythology to create his own world. It takes around a dozen paragraphs until we get to Naruto’s introduction, and we’re presented with how amazing Naruto is. “He was Uzumaki Naruto, the Chosen One, Child of Prophecy, Greatest of the Hokage, Jinchuriki of the Biju, God Eater and Destroyer of Worlds. All of these titles mean nothing anymore, no one even remembered the time when they meant something. Well, no one but him it seemed.” Meaning we get another story where and existing character is dumped into a world which isn’t their own just because the writer can. (This is about a third of the first chapter, which the two chapters combined are around 10k.) The writer decided to give Naruto “a combination of the Tenseigan and Sharigan” just because they can which they call the “reincarnation eye” because he’s a - according to the writer - “a divine entity”. We then get an info dump on this, and how he can travel to new dimensions.
Origin: “[Warning] AU and OOC-ness. Multi-crossover, Universe hopping, Alternate timelines. Naruto canon will be slightly different, slight changes to curtain events and such. But most will be the same and any changes will be mentioned in passing, but it isn't really important just say it's there. The most prominent change is the addition of Characters/ Groups/ Ideas/ Concepts and Abilities from other material. They will have some roll in the story, even if it's just to broaden the unfortunately narrow world. Not everything I include will have the entirety of its universe come along. I might take and re-purpose an ability or group to fit my story. So when you see Kido( which you will) don't expect Bleach's story as a whole to be shown. I might add favorite Characters to have a part in my tale, but they will actual be good for something and not just random fanfare.” Why does this not bode well? What else is there? A very painful nothing for the first chapter. Only for me to find out the second chapter is an author’s note. Meaning that the writer spent an entire 9,000 words info dumping a bunc of annoying stuff.
Special Abilities: Not caring that each fandom has rules, but these rules actually - contrary to what the writer may think - actually makes the characters interesting as well as the fandom, because said rules help give the characters limits, and characters with limits are far more interesting than not. We also get this author’s note for the second chapter. “Yes this is an Arthur's Note. Yes it's against the rules to post one by itself. But oh well, this is the only way to get the info out there. […] So I've been thinking this over and I feel my best course of action is to completely retcon this. As a lot of you say it's confusing, I'll try and set up a base before getting more complected. So instead of it being in the larger Dc universe it will now be in the Marvel, mostly because I feel that Marvel's darker tone will fit better. It won't be the MCU exactly but that will factor in. Also there will be piece of Dc filter through, like Characters and such, but it won't be a complete mix of the two as I've never really liked those. They don't, in my opinion, mesh well. […] Anywhore, Naruto will be reborn into this new Universe. His personality will be very different. He'll have his trademarked will of fire but he'll be intelligent as well. He'll also be Out of Character if you will. But if you want a Naruto that's exactly like Kishimoto's then you've come to the wrong website. […] Harry Potter's Universe is going to be the focus for the first 'Book' if you will then it will be extended to the greater Marvel vers. Which will include but not be limited too; Buffy, Angel, Charmed, and Small bits of others. Things Like Characters and Spells etc. […] The story will be under the Same name...Type Earth. And I'm working on it as a type this. […] Oh and Naruto will be OP, fair warning. […] If you have questions, suggestions, idea's Pm me. If I like it or it fits in to my vague idea of a storyline then I'll use it and credit you.”
Notes: OoC warnings do not stop me from featuring a story, but instead end up encouraging me to feature said story. Typically when a writer gives the OoC warning, the stories are pretty bad, and not just because of the OoCness. This one - obvious original fiction and info dump.
The writer says on their profile, “most if not all my stories are AU… I shouldn’t have to say this because you should expect it. The kind of obvious hint is that it’s on FanFiction.” I’m not understanding how this is an obvious hint as not all fanfic is AU, but in this case what they’ve written isn’t fanfic either. However, the writer says, “a couple of reviewers complained about my ooc Naruto. He is, in my opinion still Naruto. He just has different experiences thus a different personality. His base personality traits are the same as I listed above.”
No, Suethor, using base character archetypes does not the character make. Naruto is not the only character with said traits, and if that is the only connection you are not writing the character. Then again, this one said their stories being AU should be obvious yet doesn’t understand what they’re writing isn’t even fanfic anymore. Saying it is, doesn’t make it so.
Sample:
Mamaragan, also known as The Wizard and Shazam, sat at his throne on the Rock of Eternity. This God from Dreaming was old, nine thousand years old to be exact. He had spent his entire life fighting evil and guarding the Seven Deadly Sins, all in the hope for a better world.
He along with several other Gods sat on a council, which had the self-appointed task of controlling and governing the flow of energy coming from Akasha. Which in modern times is best and more widely known as Magic.
This meta-physical plane, also known as the Swirl of the Root, The Source, Spiral of Origin, or Vortex of Radix, was the origin of existence. It is the source of all events and phenomena across every dimension and time. It exists outside of time, storing and archiving possibilities and events, past, present and future, of the world. Which was also why it is referred to as 'Outside the World'.
It is the place all souls, even Heroic Spirits recorded on the Throne of Heroes, originate from and where they go after death.
He and his council judged those who wielded the Arcane Arts and punished those that they felt deserved such. They started out wanting to purge the world of evil and injustice.
Unfortunately, he could only keep it from getting any worse. There will always be evil, it was an undisputed fact of the world. He was just to young and naive at the time to truly realize it. There is good, therefore so must there be evil. Balance in all things. So there had to always be a guardian, A Shazam. He had fared well, to be honest, being a god as old as he was with no worshipers to keep him sustained. But he was ready to trade his position to someone else.
Alas, he was also very hesitant. The last time he had empowered someone they had let it go to their head. Teth-Adam was a mistake he didn't wish to repeat. Having chosen him solely on his combat ability, disregarding his substance as a person. Which really showed itself once he killed the others on the council leaving Mamaragan the sole member. So instead of a choosing someone with just great strength, he'd find someone with great believes as well.
The Wizard had studied many, many 'Heroes' of the current millennium. Unfortunately, many of them he found...lacking. But he wouldn't settle, he would find the one most fit even if he required help to do it. He decided to ask the Great Mother Gaea for her personal opinion. She responded by showing him someone that...took his breath away.
With all he experienced he was a man far before modern society would have recognized him as such. He started out quite childish and obnoxious, but it could be excused with the absence of any parental figures. He was sabotaged from the very beginning due to fear and hatred, but over came such trivial matters. He showed an indomitable resolve, being the very personification of his people's ideology...The Will of Fire.