4130: Magic und Panzer - Harry Potter
Title: Magic und Panzer
Perpetrator: A Death Trooper
Sue-O-Meter: Bad
Cover/Banner Art: I think their avatar is of a toy?
Summary: “Harry potter never showed up at Hogwarts, and instead applied at Churchill's School For Tankery. What will happen when the wizarding world catches up with him? -Chapter 2 is a rewrite of chapter one: read that first!-“
Full Name: Harry Potter
Species: He’s a competitor in tank sports. (This is a crossover with Girlz un Panzer, which for those who don’t know is an anime where a bunch of girls pretty much play paintball with WWII tanks as a more diplomatic solution than actual war where people get killed.)
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Possessions: n/a
Connection to Canon: The Dursley family are arrested, and Sirius is looking for Harry. Not much more than that, but there is a team from Hogwarts, Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. (Why are Wizards getting involved with a Wizarding school? And no, it being the writer’s story doesn’t explain that.
Origin: We’re supposed to believe that Harry never went to Hogwarts, but instead went to a school which doesn’t include all the grade levels Hogwarts does despite the fact Harry should have gotten a letter. Oh, and Harry’s now born in 1966. Reason? None actually, as Girlz un Panzer occurs during modern times. In fact, the only element from the series is the tank schools, but we’re also expected that what’s an all girl’s sport is now allowing guys in.
Special Abilities: I’m not getting the change in year, the change to co-ed schools and competitions, nor why Harry didn’t go to Hogwarts. However, I would argue this is one time the writer would be justified in gender bending characters for the sake of a crossover, though I think the writer is also using Harry as a self-insert, so a mute point.
Notes: Look, spouting off a ton of lingo involving tanks does not make you a good writer. Instead, it ends up being a bit annoying, particularly when the info doesn’t add anything to the story. I’m also highly bothered by the fact the writer took something which was supposed to empower female characters - the fact they’re taking on what would normally be a male role, and they alone are allowed to have said role, only for a guy to be allowed in long before the actual start of the series. The writer claims “most countries were adapting to the times”, but in reality it’s not.
This isn’t the writer’s only issue though with pushing buttons on what is acceptable or not. Apparently they got death threats regarding one of their stories. At first, I thought it involved the writing issues and thought we had another writer pulling the “it’s my story” and “don’t like, don’t read” on legit writing issues. Which, it was, but it was also content related. Apparently something the writer did was enough to result in not only death threats, but being called a “German ---- fanboy”. Yes, the writer admits “I just like the German history and i have a abnormal fascination with WW2”, but that doesn’t mean they’re a “German ---- fanboy”. (Specifically, I think it’s the tanks and such they’re really interested in.) Yes, I had to sensor the words so I could post this.
I think it’s important to bring this up, because “don’t like, don’t read” is a good argument against people who are against say reading slash, but it’s not good when people are concerned about how the content is represented. Which, considering how oblivious the writer was to the neo------ who killed a bunch of people with his car, I think they were honestly oblivious to how sensitive the subject is, which makes me think they’re also a younger writer. However, let me also make it quite clear that the death threats were not in any way justified. Call the person out, yes, and explain how it’s wrong, but don’t be in the wrong yourself.
However, the story in question’s also gone - deleted. Specifically, I’m not sure the writer was actually in the wrong. Seriously, there is nothing wrong with them enjoying WWII history, or writing an AU where the Germans win. And if this story is any indicator, they’re still learning the ins and outs of writing an AU. So, yes, Pottersues the IV is really pissed at a bunch of strangers whom I don’t even know the name of right now. I know that the minions pick and choose who they review based on their strengths, but for once I’m actually asking for minions to review the story, leave critique on how to improve, what the writer did well. It’s only one chapter, and it’s not that bad.
Specifically, we’ve got a writer ready to quit simply because of something as innocent as being a WWII fanboy.
Sample:
A very loud crash outside interrupted the person from writing his assignment, "Could you nut-jobs quit crashing in things around here?" yelled the interrupted person. He had black shoes, white pants with a red stripe going down the side, a dress shirt with three medals on his right breast, and most curiously, a lightning bolt scar on his forehead.
"Harry, just let it go, we don't complain if you give us a heart attack when you are in your Tiger I!" the driver of the offending tank yelled back at the black haired Harry.
Harry sighed, in 1972, the Dursleys had been arrested on charges of child abuse, forced child labour, Tax evasion and while being arrested assaulting a police officer. Vernon had also been stealing money from the company that he worked at so they were put into prison for nineteen years with parole able to be granted after the first eleven, their son, Harry's cousin, was sent to a juvenile correction centre until he lost weight and lost his bullying attitude, Harry himself was sent to an orphanage. It was here that he watched, with the help from some of the nicer kids at the orphanage, most of the sensha-do matches from 1950 till 1965.
Just after Harry turned ten, he was adopted by the Houghtons, living with them was quite fun, they all had the same fascination with tanks as him and even had some of the older learning manuals that he could read when he was not at primary school. When Harry was twelve and with him asking his adopted parents he applied to the local tankery school, he got in and passed all the tests after nine months when most students take eighteen months, he then got into Churchill's School for Tankery.
Harry immediately fell in love with the Tiger I heavy tank, when he got his received the keys to his very own Tiger I, he downright fainted. Once he had woken up, he had immediately gotten the tank to the the hanger assigned to him and began to inspect it, thinking to himself he was like 'The only thing that is wrong with you is that you have the wrong gun. Seriously, who would put a 10.5cm Kw.k L/28 on a Tiger I, the only thing that it would penetrate would be a plastic bag.' Harry thought with a frown.
He was now thirteen now, and Harry was almost ready to win the junior matches, but first, some music! Had Hatsune Miku not issued a new song last week? Ahh, here it was. "Seka de, ichiban ohime sama~" CRASH! "GODDAMNIT!"
Perpetrator: A Death Trooper
Sue-O-Meter: Bad
Cover/Banner Art: I think their avatar is of a toy?
Summary: “Harry potter never showed up at Hogwarts, and instead applied at Churchill's School For Tankery. What will happen when the wizarding world catches up with him? -Chapter 2 is a rewrite of chapter one: read that first!-“
Full Name: Harry Potter
Species: He’s a competitor in tank sports. (This is a crossover with Girlz un Panzer, which for those who don’t know is an anime where a bunch of girls pretty much play paintball with WWII tanks as a more diplomatic solution than actual war where people get killed.)
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Possessions: n/a
Connection to Canon: The Dursley family are arrested, and Sirius is looking for Harry. Not much more than that, but there is a team from Hogwarts, Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. (Why are Wizards getting involved with a Wizarding school? And no, it being the writer’s story doesn’t explain that.
Origin: We’re supposed to believe that Harry never went to Hogwarts, but instead went to a school which doesn’t include all the grade levels Hogwarts does despite the fact Harry should have gotten a letter. Oh, and Harry’s now born in 1966. Reason? None actually, as Girlz un Panzer occurs during modern times. In fact, the only element from the series is the tank schools, but we’re also expected that what’s an all girl’s sport is now allowing guys in.
Special Abilities: I’m not getting the change in year, the change to co-ed schools and competitions, nor why Harry didn’t go to Hogwarts. However, I would argue this is one time the writer would be justified in gender bending characters for the sake of a crossover, though I think the writer is also using Harry as a self-insert, so a mute point.
Notes: Look, spouting off a ton of lingo involving tanks does not make you a good writer. Instead, it ends up being a bit annoying, particularly when the info doesn’t add anything to the story. I’m also highly bothered by the fact the writer took something which was supposed to empower female characters - the fact they’re taking on what would normally be a male role, and they alone are allowed to have said role, only for a guy to be allowed in long before the actual start of the series. The writer claims “most countries were adapting to the times”, but in reality it’s not.
This isn’t the writer’s only issue though with pushing buttons on what is acceptable or not. Apparently they got death threats regarding one of their stories. At first, I thought it involved the writing issues and thought we had another writer pulling the “it’s my story” and “don’t like, don’t read” on legit writing issues. Which, it was, but it was also content related. Apparently something the writer did was enough to result in not only death threats, but being called a “German ---- fanboy”. Yes, the writer admits “I just like the German history and i have a abnormal fascination with WW2”, but that doesn’t mean they’re a “German ---- fanboy”. (Specifically, I think it’s the tanks and such they’re really interested in.) Yes, I had to sensor the words so I could post this.
I think it’s important to bring this up, because “don’t like, don’t read” is a good argument against people who are against say reading slash, but it’s not good when people are concerned about how the content is represented. Which, considering how oblivious the writer was to the neo------ who killed a bunch of people with his car, I think they were honestly oblivious to how sensitive the subject is, which makes me think they’re also a younger writer. However, let me also make it quite clear that the death threats were not in any way justified. Call the person out, yes, and explain how it’s wrong, but don’t be in the wrong yourself.
However, the story in question’s also gone - deleted. Specifically, I’m not sure the writer was actually in the wrong. Seriously, there is nothing wrong with them enjoying WWII history, or writing an AU where the Germans win. And if this story is any indicator, they’re still learning the ins and outs of writing an AU. So, yes, Pottersues the IV is really pissed at a bunch of strangers whom I don’t even know the name of right now. I know that the minions pick and choose who they review based on their strengths, but for once I’m actually asking for minions to review the story, leave critique on how to improve, what the writer did well. It’s only one chapter, and it’s not that bad.
Specifically, we’ve got a writer ready to quit simply because of something as innocent as being a WWII fanboy.
Sample:
A very loud crash outside interrupted the person from writing his assignment, "Could you nut-jobs quit crashing in things around here?" yelled the interrupted person. He had black shoes, white pants with a red stripe going down the side, a dress shirt with three medals on his right breast, and most curiously, a lightning bolt scar on his forehead.
"Harry, just let it go, we don't complain if you give us a heart attack when you are in your Tiger I!" the driver of the offending tank yelled back at the black haired Harry.
Harry sighed, in 1972, the Dursleys had been arrested on charges of child abuse, forced child labour, Tax evasion and while being arrested assaulting a police officer. Vernon had also been stealing money from the company that he worked at so they were put into prison for nineteen years with parole able to be granted after the first eleven, their son, Harry's cousin, was sent to a juvenile correction centre until he lost weight and lost his bullying attitude, Harry himself was sent to an orphanage. It was here that he watched, with the help from some of the nicer kids at the orphanage, most of the sensha-do matches from 1950 till 1965.
Just after Harry turned ten, he was adopted by the Houghtons, living with them was quite fun, they all had the same fascination with tanks as him and even had some of the older learning manuals that he could read when he was not at primary school. When Harry was twelve and with him asking his adopted parents he applied to the local tankery school, he got in and passed all the tests after nine months when most students take eighteen months, he then got into Churchill's School for Tankery.
Harry immediately fell in love with the Tiger I heavy tank, when he got his received the keys to his very own Tiger I, he downright fainted. Once he had woken up, he had immediately gotten the tank to the the hanger assigned to him and began to inspect it, thinking to himself he was like 'The only thing that is wrong with you is that you have the wrong gun. Seriously, who would put a 10.5cm Kw.k L/28 on a Tiger I, the only thing that it would penetrate would be a plastic bag.' Harry thought with a frown.
He was now thirteen now, and Harry was almost ready to win the junior matches, but first, some music! Had Hatsune Miku not issued a new song last week? Ahh, here it was. "Seka de, ichiban ohime sama~" CRASH! "GODDAMNIT!"