4129: The Ultimate Weapon - Harry, Sarah, Johnathan
Today we have a link of the day called Dudley's Revelation's by DoctorClaryPotterPendragon. I enjoyed reading the fic, but according to their profile the writer is only sixteen.
Title: The Ultimate Weapon
Perpetrator: Architect of Creation
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: Their avatar is of a green dragon big enough to swallow the tower of a castle whole.
Summary: “The moment after his parents died and Voldemort vanished, Harry was taken away by a secret muggle agency before Hagrid could show to save him. Vanishing from the face of the earth, for the next ten years he is lost and no longer sighted. The reason? he was kept in a lab to be experimented on. Bashing of Dumbledore, Ron, Some Hermione. Highly Intelligent! Harry. Powerful! Harry”
Full Name: Harry, Sarah. Johnathan
Species: I’ve got no clue. Scratch that, it’s revealed in his inheritance. It’s demon, vampire, alien, human and “muggle serum” as if serum is supposed to be different than blood.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: He legit has a second set of eyes because of his demon heritage.
Markings: n/a
Possessions: “Walking into Ollivanders shop last, they found two wands for Harry, one which had acromantula silk as it’s core, and the other with a phoenix feather core.” On the positive side, he’s only the heir to the Potters, Peverell and Blacks.
Connection to Canon: Harry isn’t raised by the Dursley’s walks into the wizarding world knowing everything he needs to know despite there is no logical reason for him to do so, but commands such a presence that the Goblin King makes his presence. (That gets the story the toxic rating.) By the way, here is the proof of Harry’s so called “Highly Intelligent” side. “He knew from experience that the Society had never used Demon blood on him, so assumed it came from his mother seeing as her middle name was Lilith.” No, Stuethor - for I’m guessing this is a male writer, not a female writer this time, this is not Harry being super intelligent. It’s him using your personal thought process which is not working very well. (I am seriously face palming on this one, and not sure whether I should be pleased with the fact I am enjoying how bad this is, or bad because the writer’s honestly got no clue how far overboard they took things. Then again, I REALLY suspect a younger writer.) We then get a flash back to the secret Muggle society experimenting on him before he gets onto the train where everybody stares at Harry and he actually thinks “If people are going to look at me like that the whole way I might as well shoot myself.” Sarah is the one running around with him, but is also how he’s introduced to Sarah. Then, we get the line of “Finding the cause of the problem, which was his demon blood acting all possessive of Sarah, he realized why he seemed to dislike this Ron boy. Dismissing his ill conceived anger, he returned to the real world, only to mind that a bushy haried witch had entered their compartment, and that Ron had his wand out.” Which heads into the scene with Hermione, Ron and Harry plus the parasite Sue Sarah (This is only two chapters, and the story is already this toxic!)
Origin: I’m not sure what the writer is thinking.
Special Abilities: Harry is a child genius. Contrary to what one of the recent defenders says, you don’t become “hyper smart” simply because of the environment your raised in. I’m still a bit baffled that someone would make that argument. I’m not saying Harry isn’t smart in his own way, but he’s neither book smart or child genius smart. Apparently his magical core - which does not exist in canon, nor should it exist in fanfic - is at 10% of 200%. He’s a natural Animagus, has wandless magic “available”, but is apparently proficient in both light and dark magic. Oh, and on top of being a natural Animagus despite the hard work it gets to be one, he can be any he wants, so he’s really just a shapeshifter. He gets telepathy from his alien blood, sharp teeth from his demon side, “Inhumane Strength, speed, stamina, endurance and magical reserves. (Demon and Vempire blood)”, “augmented regeneration (Muggle Serum)” which absolutely makes no sense, “shape-shifting (Muggle serum, Vampire Blood and Alien Blood)”, Shadow Manipulation (Vampire/ Demon blood.)”, “Energy manipulation (Alien Blood), “Inhumane Intellect (Muggle Serum, Vampire Blood, Demon blood, Alien blood)”.
Notes: Look. Wands aren’t guns. Stop giving wizards holsters, and stop having them duel wield. The fact people honestly believe it would be physically possible to duel wield when you can only cast one spell at a time is honestly baffling. Another recent defender tried saying the crazy stuff Suethor’s pull is “a new take, self expression, unique point of view imagination”, but things like dual wands says the writer’s not thinking and only doing things because they’re super cool. Because we all know dual wielding is the coolest ability ever, but hard to achieve, so of course Wizards get to have it as well even though that makes no sense at all and they already have Wandless magic.
I guess people don’t want to admit they’ve imagined up a Mary Sue, or in this case a Gary Stu.
Sample:
Discomfort, it was the one word that described what he was feeling. His body sore, his mind numb, he didn't quite know what else to call it. Pain had long since lost it's meaning to him, as he had endured the worst physical aspects of it. Now, he would only feel numb whenever this happened.
Taking a deep breath, he centered himself, and made his choice. Letting out a loud sigh, he rose from his position on the floor. His body was in a cold sweat, but he barely noticed it. His breathing was going back to normal, though it didn't bother him.
Looking forwards, his eyes locked with the man who had been doing this to him. He wore a business suit, which was completely grey. Nothing made him more furious than to look at that man. Every instinct inside of him screamed that he should attack, fight, and rip the man to shreds, but he didn't. Taking another deep breath, he centered himself, and found some peace.
"You've done well Harry. Your improvement has been noted and will be passed on," the man said with a smile.
"Stop with this pointless banter, if you've nothing good to say than don't speak," A voice said within the man's head, causing him to grimace.
This caused a smile to appear on Harry's face. "Stop talking in my head Harry," The man said.
"Bother you does it? To bad, You're not worth the effort for that primal conversation you have," Harry said in an icy tone.
Title: The Ultimate Weapon
Perpetrator: Architect of Creation
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: Their avatar is of a green dragon big enough to swallow the tower of a castle whole.
Summary: “The moment after his parents died and Voldemort vanished, Harry was taken away by a secret muggle agency before Hagrid could show to save him. Vanishing from the face of the earth, for the next ten years he is lost and no longer sighted. The reason? he was kept in a lab to be experimented on. Bashing of Dumbledore, Ron, Some Hermione. Highly Intelligent! Harry. Powerful! Harry”
Full Name: Harry, Sarah. Johnathan
Species: I’ve got no clue. Scratch that, it’s revealed in his inheritance. It’s demon, vampire, alien, human and “muggle serum” as if serum is supposed to be different than blood.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: He legit has a second set of eyes because of his demon heritage.
Markings: n/a
Possessions: “Walking into Ollivanders shop last, they found two wands for Harry, one which had acromantula silk as it’s core, and the other with a phoenix feather core.” On the positive side, he’s only the heir to the Potters, Peverell and Blacks.
Connection to Canon: Harry isn’t raised by the Dursley’s walks into the wizarding world knowing everything he needs to know despite there is no logical reason for him to do so, but commands such a presence that the Goblin King makes his presence. (That gets the story the toxic rating.) By the way, here is the proof of Harry’s so called “Highly Intelligent” side. “He knew from experience that the Society had never used Demon blood on him, so assumed it came from his mother seeing as her middle name was Lilith.” No, Stuethor - for I’m guessing this is a male writer, not a female writer this time, this is not Harry being super intelligent. It’s him using your personal thought process which is not working very well. (I am seriously face palming on this one, and not sure whether I should be pleased with the fact I am enjoying how bad this is, or bad because the writer’s honestly got no clue how far overboard they took things. Then again, I REALLY suspect a younger writer.) We then get a flash back to the secret Muggle society experimenting on him before he gets onto the train where everybody stares at Harry and he actually thinks “If people are going to look at me like that the whole way I might as well shoot myself.” Sarah is the one running around with him, but is also how he’s introduced to Sarah. Then, we get the line of “Finding the cause of the problem, which was his demon blood acting all possessive of Sarah, he realized why he seemed to dislike this Ron boy. Dismissing his ill conceived anger, he returned to the real world, only to mind that a bushy haried witch had entered their compartment, and that Ron had his wand out.” Which heads into the scene with Hermione, Ron and Harry plus the parasite Sue Sarah (This is only two chapters, and the story is already this toxic!)
Origin: I’m not sure what the writer is thinking.
Special Abilities: Harry is a child genius. Contrary to what one of the recent defenders says, you don’t become “hyper smart” simply because of the environment your raised in. I’m still a bit baffled that someone would make that argument. I’m not saying Harry isn’t smart in his own way, but he’s neither book smart or child genius smart. Apparently his magical core - which does not exist in canon, nor should it exist in fanfic - is at 10% of 200%. He’s a natural Animagus, has wandless magic “available”, but is apparently proficient in both light and dark magic. Oh, and on top of being a natural Animagus despite the hard work it gets to be one, he can be any he wants, so he’s really just a shapeshifter. He gets telepathy from his alien blood, sharp teeth from his demon side, “Inhumane Strength, speed, stamina, endurance and magical reserves. (Demon and Vempire blood)”, “augmented regeneration (Muggle Serum)” which absolutely makes no sense, “shape-shifting (Muggle serum, Vampire Blood and Alien Blood)”, Shadow Manipulation (Vampire/ Demon blood.)”, “Energy manipulation (Alien Blood), “Inhumane Intellect (Muggle Serum, Vampire Blood, Demon blood, Alien blood)”.
Notes: Look. Wands aren’t guns. Stop giving wizards holsters, and stop having them duel wield. The fact people honestly believe it would be physically possible to duel wield when you can only cast one spell at a time is honestly baffling. Another recent defender tried saying the crazy stuff Suethor’s pull is “a new take, self expression, unique point of view imagination”, but things like dual wands says the writer’s not thinking and only doing things because they’re super cool. Because we all know dual wielding is the coolest ability ever, but hard to achieve, so of course Wizards get to have it as well even though that makes no sense at all and they already have Wandless magic.
I guess people don’t want to admit they’ve imagined up a Mary Sue, or in this case a Gary Stu.
Sample:
Discomfort, it was the one word that described what he was feeling. His body sore, his mind numb, he didn't quite know what else to call it. Pain had long since lost it's meaning to him, as he had endured the worst physical aspects of it. Now, he would only feel numb whenever this happened.
Taking a deep breath, he centered himself, and made his choice. Letting out a loud sigh, he rose from his position on the floor. His body was in a cold sweat, but he barely noticed it. His breathing was going back to normal, though it didn't bother him.
Looking forwards, his eyes locked with the man who had been doing this to him. He wore a business suit, which was completely grey. Nothing made him more furious than to look at that man. Every instinct inside of him screamed that he should attack, fight, and rip the man to shreds, but he didn't. Taking another deep breath, he centered himself, and found some peace.
"You've done well Harry. Your improvement has been noted and will be passed on," the man said with a smile.
"Stop with this pointless banter, if you've nothing good to say than don't speak," A voice said within the man's head, causing him to grimace.
This caused a smile to appear on Harry's face. "Stop talking in my head Harry," The man said.
"Bother you does it? To bad, You're not worth the effort for that primal conversation you have," Harry said in an icy tone.