4116: Crazy Heart - Rozana Constantin
Sorry for the long time not updating. I had quite a few family issues to resolve.
Title: Crazy Heart
Perpetrator: SincerelyAna
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: I think the writer’s avatar is a picture of themselves.
Summary: “Roxana Constantin, accomplice of the Weasley twins and caretaker of the one and only Harry Potter, has been lied to her entire life. Will her past come to take over her future or will she leave everything she's ever known behind? What'll happen when she meets the notorious Sirius Black? Will she lie for him? Sirius/OC (Very slow burn) No bashing!”
Full Name: Roxana Constantin
Species: She’s from Romania, but all of her family were squibs, and she’s the first to be born which isn’t a squib, unlike her grandparents, parents and uncle.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Possessions: She leaves her possessions in her grandfather and grandmother’s place in Romania.
Connection to Canon: Roxana is kind of a confusing character. We have a thirteen-year-old acting like she’s already much older, not wanting to scare Hermione when she enters the compartment. For some reason, Hermione is also crying, but Roxana decides to leave her luggage for the guys to lift up because she’s too weak to do so, despite the fact in first year every student learned the levitation charm. The two bond, but Hermione is horribly out of character, spilling her woes to this OC because “I still feel unprepared” despite all the preparation Hermione’s done. The OC then spills her background story about how she’s born to squibs, and dealt with the economic ruin going on in Romania. (I’m actually a little worried about the timing here. The year is 1991, meaning the Sue would have been three in 1981, which was actually towards the end of an economic growth spurt for Romania. There were other issues the people of Romania were having to deal with, like the lack of basic consumer goods, but would it have been a big enough issue to move that early during the 1980s?) Apparently Hermione’s “almost finished” with Hogwarts: A History, again, another OoC thing for Hermione. Then Fred and George showed up, and the Sue calls them Fredy and Georgy, but she’s super hyper as well. We then later on find out that she spent Christmas’ and summers with them instead of her family, she taught Charlie Romanian - how convenient - and always helped with the cooking, which is awesome because Ginny hated it. (So, I was only going to give this the awful rating until I got to that part. It shot up to Toxic) It’s then revealed that she has special dreams, but is told by her parents that dreams aren’t real despite the fact they’re all squib. It’s then revealed that she’s pulled away from her parents. (This is all from one chapter.) Second chapter jumps to Halloween, but is rather short in nature. Next is December and or some reason she is visiting her grandmother in Romania. (Her grandfather is over a hundred-eighty. Sure…) For a family that went through economic trouble, it’s a very nice house with a “large terrace, and a bedroom that doubles as a library. IT’s where she keeps her belongings, because she spends most of her time here. (Nope.) She knows about what happens at the end of the year because of the map.
Origin: “Greeting lovely readers! To put it short, this is not the first fan-fiction I’ve written. Crazy at Heart, is however, the only story that has kept my interest long enough to surpass 30000 words and probably the only one that will be published and completed. Truth be told, I’m not even halfway done with writing, the story plot gets much more captivating and detailed later on, so that’s probably why. Crazy at Heart starts in the Golden Trio’s first year, when the twins are in their third. I thought of skipping to Prisoner of Azkaban, since the story “officially” begins there, which wouldn’ve made many things easier for me, but I really wanted to expand the main characters personality and back story before the ball started rolling. So, if you believe the beginning to be slow, feel free to skip ahead; though be warned that some small key details will appear later on and the last thing I want is anyone to be confused.” See the actual complicated origin story in the sample, and the connection to canon.
Special Abilities: The characters seem to have an obsession with running their hands through their hair, more so than normal. She’s friends with the twins, but caretaker of Harry, which really makes no sense as she’s only two years older than him. We find out in the first paragraph she’s top of her class, which means she’ll be natural friends with Hermione.
Notes: So, not describing what your character looks like doesn’t make them a Mary Sue. The writer’s first language isn’t English either, but I also like their attitude. However, I also suspect that Roxana is a self-insert, and wouldn’t be surprised to find out the writer themselves was from Romania. Still, if that’s why she got going like she did, all the more power to her, no matter how Mary Sue-ish the story gets. I actually like this Sue though, because it is a self-insert. Yes, it’s Toxic in the levels of how amazing the Sue is, but it is still enjoyable to read.
Sample:
Roxana Constantin once thought she was quite an ordinary girl, but that all changed two years ago when she found out she was a witch. Life before Hogwarts had been dim, now however, as she was entering her third year, things were looking a whole lot brighter. Her best friends were two redheaded brothers that seemed to always be seeking trouble, she was at the top of the class, and this year they were finally allowed into Hogsmeade for the first, well, for the first official time.
That's why she wasn't all that upset when there seemed to be no more empty compartments or when she still hadn't found the twins. She was surprised, however, to hear crying when she opened the door. Must be a first year, Roxana thought, poor thing.
She gently closed the door, not wanting to scare the little girl that still hadn't noticed her. The first year had light brown bushy hair and she was wearing muggle clothing. Roxana tried picking up her own luggage, but found it too heavy. She decided to wait for the boys to put it up and took a seat across from the girl instead. An awkward minute passed until she couldn't bear the sound of sniffs any longer; she cleared her throat.
The little girl gasped looking up just as her shoulders tensed. Roxana noticed that she had brown eyes and her face was very red and blotchy. She regretted startling her instantly.
"Sorry I scared you. There weren't anymore compartments left." She motioned carelessly to the corridor outside. "I'm Roxana Constantin, I'm entering third year. You're going into first year aren't you?" She asked the girl, that had stopped crying and was now wiping her ears with her sleeve.
"I'm Hermione Granger. I didn't know I was a witch until I got my letter. I… I don't know if I'll fit in here. I mean, my family isn't magic, so I don't know any spells. I've been reading all the course books, but I still feel unprepared." The young girl sighed and Roxana let out a chuckle, the girl sure could ramble.
"Nice to meet you, Hermione. I think you'll be just fine. Even magical children aren't always prepared for Hogwarts and even if they are, school is for learning. You have nothing to fear." Hermione smiled slightly in relief and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Is that how you felt your first time going to Hogwarts?" She tilted her head in curiosity.
Roxana's thoughts went back while she answered, "Of course, though I had other issues to deal with." Hermione gave her a look that meant to keep going. "Are you sure? It's quite a long story."
The girl shrugged, "There's enough time." She did have a point, the train had just started moving.
"Alright… where should I start? I was born in Romania," Hermione eyed her curiously, "...no, I'm not a vampire, even though they do exist. Well, my grandparents are all magic, but my parents and my uncle are squibs." Hermione frowned, "A squib is a person born to magical parents or a parent, that doesn't have any powers themselves. Sad really." Roxana continued seeing that Hermione understood the gist.
"Anyways, when I was about three my parents decided to move to England. You see, Romania was under economic ruin and them being squibs and all… needed to find better jobs. So we came to here, and let me tell you it wasn't all tea and crumpets." She let out a shaky laugh, "My parents never told me I was a witch. When inexplicable things started happening, we packed up and moved. Since this happened basically every two years, it was impossible for me to make friends. I turned my attention to books and got bullied for being the "know it all foreign girl."
She sighed along with Hermione, "Instead of telling me the truth, my parents lied to me repeatedly and told me that what was happening, was all inside my head. I honestly believed I was going crazy. Well one day, when I was ten, I made a shattered streetlight fix itself on my way to the bus stop. I was so happy I had proof that I ran home to tell my parents. That's when I guess they decided that they could no longer control my magic. We went back to Romania where my grandmother told me I was a witch. Biggest shock of my life, though I cried more over the fact that my parents lied to me. They even admitted they'd been planning to hid my letter from Hogwarts."
Hermione gasped and Roxana wiped her eyes. "We got into a massive fight and in the end they left me with my grandparents. To this day, things still aren't how they used to be. I talk and write to them, but we're not very close. So, obviously I was a wreck when I got on the train my first year."
"That's… that's wow. I'm sorry." Hermione offered a half smile.
Roxana chuckled trying to get her act together and shook her head, "It's fine. So have you read, Hogwarts: A History?"
Title: Crazy Heart
Perpetrator: SincerelyAna
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: I think the writer’s avatar is a picture of themselves.
Summary: “Roxana Constantin, accomplice of the Weasley twins and caretaker of the one and only Harry Potter, has been lied to her entire life. Will her past come to take over her future or will she leave everything she's ever known behind? What'll happen when she meets the notorious Sirius Black? Will she lie for him? Sirius/OC (Very slow burn) No bashing!”
Full Name: Roxana Constantin
Species: She’s from Romania, but all of her family were squibs, and she’s the first to be born which isn’t a squib, unlike her grandparents, parents and uncle.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Possessions: She leaves her possessions in her grandfather and grandmother’s place in Romania.
Connection to Canon: Roxana is kind of a confusing character. We have a thirteen-year-old acting like she’s already much older, not wanting to scare Hermione when she enters the compartment. For some reason, Hermione is also crying, but Roxana decides to leave her luggage for the guys to lift up because she’s too weak to do so, despite the fact in first year every student learned the levitation charm. The two bond, but Hermione is horribly out of character, spilling her woes to this OC because “I still feel unprepared” despite all the preparation Hermione’s done. The OC then spills her background story about how she’s born to squibs, and dealt with the economic ruin going on in Romania. (I’m actually a little worried about the timing here. The year is 1991, meaning the Sue would have been three in 1981, which was actually towards the end of an economic growth spurt for Romania. There were other issues the people of Romania were having to deal with, like the lack of basic consumer goods, but would it have been a big enough issue to move that early during the 1980s?) Apparently Hermione’s “almost finished” with Hogwarts: A History, again, another OoC thing for Hermione. Then Fred and George showed up, and the Sue calls them Fredy and Georgy, but she’s super hyper as well. We then later on find out that she spent Christmas’ and summers with them instead of her family, she taught Charlie Romanian - how convenient - and always helped with the cooking, which is awesome because Ginny hated it. (So, I was only going to give this the awful rating until I got to that part. It shot up to Toxic) It’s then revealed that she has special dreams, but is told by her parents that dreams aren’t real despite the fact they’re all squib. It’s then revealed that she’s pulled away from her parents. (This is all from one chapter.) Second chapter jumps to Halloween, but is rather short in nature. Next is December and or some reason she is visiting her grandmother in Romania. (Her grandfather is over a hundred-eighty. Sure…) For a family that went through economic trouble, it’s a very nice house with a “large terrace, and a bedroom that doubles as a library. IT’s where she keeps her belongings, because she spends most of her time here. (Nope.) She knows about what happens at the end of the year because of the map.
Origin: “Greeting lovely readers! To put it short, this is not the first fan-fiction I’ve written. Crazy at Heart, is however, the only story that has kept my interest long enough to surpass 30000 words and probably the only one that will be published and completed. Truth be told, I’m not even halfway done with writing, the story plot gets much more captivating and detailed later on, so that’s probably why. Crazy at Heart starts in the Golden Trio’s first year, when the twins are in their third. I thought of skipping to Prisoner of Azkaban, since the story “officially” begins there, which wouldn’ve made many things easier for me, but I really wanted to expand the main characters personality and back story before the ball started rolling. So, if you believe the beginning to be slow, feel free to skip ahead; though be warned that some small key details will appear later on and the last thing I want is anyone to be confused.” See the actual complicated origin story in the sample, and the connection to canon.
Special Abilities: The characters seem to have an obsession with running their hands through their hair, more so than normal. She’s friends with the twins, but caretaker of Harry, which really makes no sense as she’s only two years older than him. We find out in the first paragraph she’s top of her class, which means she’ll be natural friends with Hermione.
Notes: So, not describing what your character looks like doesn’t make them a Mary Sue. The writer’s first language isn’t English either, but I also like their attitude. However, I also suspect that Roxana is a self-insert, and wouldn’t be surprised to find out the writer themselves was from Romania. Still, if that’s why she got going like she did, all the more power to her, no matter how Mary Sue-ish the story gets. I actually like this Sue though, because it is a self-insert. Yes, it’s Toxic in the levels of how amazing the Sue is, but it is still enjoyable to read.
Sample:
Roxana Constantin once thought she was quite an ordinary girl, but that all changed two years ago when she found out she was a witch. Life before Hogwarts had been dim, now however, as she was entering her third year, things were looking a whole lot brighter. Her best friends were two redheaded brothers that seemed to always be seeking trouble, she was at the top of the class, and this year they were finally allowed into Hogsmeade for the first, well, for the first official time.
That's why she wasn't all that upset when there seemed to be no more empty compartments or when she still hadn't found the twins. She was surprised, however, to hear crying when she opened the door. Must be a first year, Roxana thought, poor thing.
She gently closed the door, not wanting to scare the little girl that still hadn't noticed her. The first year had light brown bushy hair and she was wearing muggle clothing. Roxana tried picking up her own luggage, but found it too heavy. She decided to wait for the boys to put it up and took a seat across from the girl instead. An awkward minute passed until she couldn't bear the sound of sniffs any longer; she cleared her throat.
The little girl gasped looking up just as her shoulders tensed. Roxana noticed that she had brown eyes and her face was very red and blotchy. She regretted startling her instantly.
"Sorry I scared you. There weren't anymore compartments left." She motioned carelessly to the corridor outside. "I'm Roxana Constantin, I'm entering third year. You're going into first year aren't you?" She asked the girl, that had stopped crying and was now wiping her ears with her sleeve.
"I'm Hermione Granger. I didn't know I was a witch until I got my letter. I… I don't know if I'll fit in here. I mean, my family isn't magic, so I don't know any spells. I've been reading all the course books, but I still feel unprepared." The young girl sighed and Roxana let out a chuckle, the girl sure could ramble.
"Nice to meet you, Hermione. I think you'll be just fine. Even magical children aren't always prepared for Hogwarts and even if they are, school is for learning. You have nothing to fear." Hermione smiled slightly in relief and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Is that how you felt your first time going to Hogwarts?" She tilted her head in curiosity.
Roxana's thoughts went back while she answered, "Of course, though I had other issues to deal with." Hermione gave her a look that meant to keep going. "Are you sure? It's quite a long story."
The girl shrugged, "There's enough time." She did have a point, the train had just started moving.
"Alright… where should I start? I was born in Romania," Hermione eyed her curiously, "...no, I'm not a vampire, even though they do exist. Well, my grandparents are all magic, but my parents and my uncle are squibs." Hermione frowned, "A squib is a person born to magical parents or a parent, that doesn't have any powers themselves. Sad really." Roxana continued seeing that Hermione understood the gist.
"Anyways, when I was about three my parents decided to move to England. You see, Romania was under economic ruin and them being squibs and all… needed to find better jobs. So we came to here, and let me tell you it wasn't all tea and crumpets." She let out a shaky laugh, "My parents never told me I was a witch. When inexplicable things started happening, we packed up and moved. Since this happened basically every two years, it was impossible for me to make friends. I turned my attention to books and got bullied for being the "know it all foreign girl."
She sighed along with Hermione, "Instead of telling me the truth, my parents lied to me repeatedly and told me that what was happening, was all inside my head. I honestly believed I was going crazy. Well one day, when I was ten, I made a shattered streetlight fix itself on my way to the bus stop. I was so happy I had proof that I ran home to tell my parents. That's when I guess they decided that they could no longer control my magic. We went back to Romania where my grandmother told me I was a witch. Biggest shock of my life, though I cried more over the fact that my parents lied to me. They even admitted they'd been planning to hid my letter from Hogwarts."
Hermione gasped and Roxana wiped her eyes. "We got into a massive fight and in the end they left me with my grandparents. To this day, things still aren't how they used to be. I talk and write to them, but we're not very close. So, obviously I was a wreck when I got on the train my first year."
"That's… that's wow. I'm sorry." Hermione offered a half smile.
Roxana chuckled trying to get her act together and shook her head, "It's fine. So have you read, Hogwarts: A History?"