4063: Whisered Lies - Tate Bones, Hermione
- The link of the day is fanbrat (essay) , and here are some of the previous links of the day which you may find useful. I’m actually curious to know who this person’s mother was. But, on the net your anon, so oh well. The essay is a fun read though.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
Here is the second fic written by RoseSecretsTC, or at least according to her profile.
TITLE: Whispered Lies
PERPETRATOR: RoseSecretsTC
SUE-O-METER: Awful
COVER/BANNER ART: Same as before...
SUMMARY:” When a young girls family is murdered and she is taken she is faced with a decision. Stay alive with the man that kidnapped her and discover a new world, or die like her parents at his wand. From the writer of Dragging Me In, presents a new DracoOc.”
FULL NAME: Tate Bones (also Hermione!)
SPECIES: She’s related to … it’s Rosmerta? Romerta? Turns out she’s the aunt. Her mother’s name is Paprika, and her husband was Victor Bones.
HAIR: “The face was so much alike, along with the curly mass of dark dirty blonde hair.”
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Her parents are killed, she’s kidnapped by Draco. Hemrione is surprised he is still alive. Second chapter has her having an outburst of uncontrolled magic, but never having received a letter to Hogwarts. We then find out that “two years ago she sat at his grave, tears pouring from her brown eyes.”
ORIGIN: This is the Suethor’s second story. Hermione is a police officer. Turns out her parents died seventeen years ago, but didn’t. Despite the fact the writer has the Sue describe Draco as a boy, he is not a boy.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: So Draco is an adult, the Sue is not, and that’s okay for a romantic relationship? Alright, so she’s seventeen. That wasn’t touched upon at the beginning of the story though. However, there still seems to be a major age gap between the two, as Draco’s disappeared for some time, and Hermione has had the time to become a police detective. There was also something going on between him and Hermione. She has bouts of accidental magic.
NOTES: So, pretty much for this story and the last the writer is pretty much writing Hermione, but the character isn’t Hermione, just the super cool version of Granger. However, I like this one. It’s interesting, even though it is still a Mary Sue.
In this case, having your character have unrealistic bouts of accidental magic because she’s way to special to be sent a letter for Hogwarts let alone trained by her own parents does not count as a fatal flaw.
SAMPLE:
Her breath hung in the air. Cold enveloped her as she shook violently. Her back pressed against the abrasive stone wall as she listened for any footsteps in the dungeons. Her eyes closed in fear as she heard the soft step of a heel coming towards her. Her breathing became rapid as she clamped her hand over her mouth.It was late summer. Her parents were enjoying a drive down through a mountain pass. Trees lined the roads heavily. The sun was setting casting an orange glow. She loved sitting in a window seat with the window down feeling the wind hit her face. The night had a bitter cold that stung her eyes and caused tears to stream from them.
Her eyes widened as she saw a boy on a broomstick, probably not even nineteen. She hit her moms shoulder as the boys silver eyes pierced into hers.
"Mom! There is a boy flying outside the window!" she yelled and her parents laughter died. They turned and looked quickly. She to searched for the boy she saw only moments ago.
"Tate, you're watching to many movies."
Tate saw her parents exchange frightful looks. She tried to find the boy again. Where had he gone? She knew she had saw him flying. He had a long black cloak with silvery blonde hair and those silver eyes that she couldn't get out of her head.
She decided to draw him. A small picture that seemed fitting. She was finished the eyes, nose, and mouth. Working on the silky hair took longer than anything. She finished and held it on her lap.
About an hour later her father slammed on the brakes. Tate went crashing forward then back in a dizzying speed. Her head hitting the frame of the door. Her father opened the door in a hurry and rushed out of the car. Her mother quickly followed. Tate couldn't move. Her head was splitting in a headache from the hit.
She heard a scream and her mother started opening the car door and pulling a stick out of the glove compartment.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
Here is the second fic written by RoseSecretsTC, or at least according to her profile.
TITLE: Whispered Lies
PERPETRATOR: RoseSecretsTC
SUE-O-METER: Awful
COVER/BANNER ART: Same as before...
SUMMARY:” When a young girls family is murdered and she is taken she is faced with a decision. Stay alive with the man that kidnapped her and discover a new world, or die like her parents at his wand. From the writer of Dragging Me In, presents a new DracoOc.”
FULL NAME: Tate Bones (also Hermione!)
SPECIES: She’s related to … it’s Rosmerta? Romerta? Turns out she’s the aunt. Her mother’s name is Paprika, and her husband was Victor Bones.
HAIR: “The face was so much alike, along with the curly mass of dark dirty blonde hair.”
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Her parents are killed, she’s kidnapped by Draco. Hemrione is surprised he is still alive. Second chapter has her having an outburst of uncontrolled magic, but never having received a letter to Hogwarts. We then find out that “two years ago she sat at his grave, tears pouring from her brown eyes.”
ORIGIN: This is the Suethor’s second story. Hermione is a police officer. Turns out her parents died seventeen years ago, but didn’t. Despite the fact the writer has the Sue describe Draco as a boy, he is not a boy.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: So Draco is an adult, the Sue is not, and that’s okay for a romantic relationship? Alright, so she’s seventeen. That wasn’t touched upon at the beginning of the story though. However, there still seems to be a major age gap between the two, as Draco’s disappeared for some time, and Hermione has had the time to become a police detective. There was also something going on between him and Hermione. She has bouts of accidental magic.
NOTES: So, pretty much for this story and the last the writer is pretty much writing Hermione, but the character isn’t Hermione, just the super cool version of Granger. However, I like this one. It’s interesting, even though it is still a Mary Sue.
In this case, having your character have unrealistic bouts of accidental magic because she’s way to special to be sent a letter for Hogwarts let alone trained by her own parents does not count as a fatal flaw.
SAMPLE:
Her breath hung in the air. Cold enveloped her as she shook violently. Her back pressed against the abrasive stone wall as she listened for any footsteps in the dungeons. Her eyes closed in fear as she heard the soft step of a heel coming towards her. Her breathing became rapid as she clamped her hand over her mouth.It was late summer. Her parents were enjoying a drive down through a mountain pass. Trees lined the roads heavily. The sun was setting casting an orange glow. She loved sitting in a window seat with the window down feeling the wind hit her face. The night had a bitter cold that stung her eyes and caused tears to stream from them.
Her eyes widened as she saw a boy on a broomstick, probably not even nineteen. She hit her moms shoulder as the boys silver eyes pierced into hers.
"Mom! There is a boy flying outside the window!" she yelled and her parents laughter died. They turned and looked quickly. She to searched for the boy she saw only moments ago.
"Tate, you're watching to many movies."
Tate saw her parents exchange frightful looks. She tried to find the boy again. Where had he gone? She knew she had saw him flying. He had a long black cloak with silvery blonde hair and those silver eyes that she couldn't get out of her head.
She decided to draw him. A small picture that seemed fitting. She was finished the eyes, nose, and mouth. Working on the silky hair took longer than anything. She finished and held it on her lap.
About an hour later her father slammed on the brakes. Tate went crashing forward then back in a dizzying speed. Her head hitting the frame of the door. Her father opened the door in a hurry and rushed out of the car. Her mother quickly followed. Tate couldn't move. Her head was splitting in a headache from the hit.
She heard a scream and her mother started opening the car door and pulling a stick out of the glove compartment.