4030: Age of the White Smoke - Tilly Partridge and company
- The link of the day is , and here are some of the previous links of the day which you may find useful. This one is an essay from The Universal Mary Sue Litmus Test regarding what a Mary Sue is.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
- The Fourteenth Annual Pottersues is also currently running.
Day five is “five gold rings” and ended up with quite a few. The first one was a doozy though.
TITLE:
PERPETRATOR: SnowWolf15
SUE-O-METER: Toxic.
COVER/BANNER ART: Cover art isn’t showing up today.
SUMMARY:”Muggle-born Tilly Partridge, a junior in college who's oblivious to the power she yields, is the key element to a prophecy involving an enemy from beyond the grave. Follow Tilly as she runs from death eaters and snatchers set on bringing their leader back from death. Will Tilly escape her faith while finding love along the way or will the prophecy ring true? Read to find out!”
FULL NAME: Tilly Partridge and company
SPECIES: She’s a college student who got passed over for her Harry Potter adventure, but is still super special and important to the plot. She also brings along with her a Braxton Dolohov, Cedric Knightheart, Amelia Petersons, Gabriella Sparrows, Douglas Eldernew, Shenzie Markeet, Malcom Markeet, Madison Kippler, Alexander Ruthford, Martha Partridge, Bobby Partridge.
HAIR:
EYES:
MARKINGS: Tilly is 22, Braxton 24, Cedric 27, Amelia 23, Gabriella 25, Douglas 19, Shenzie 18, Malcom 18, Alexander 22, Martha 45, Bobby 51. “Part of him wanted to fulfill the prophesy to save his mother but another part kept picturing Tilly’s soft skin pressed against his own.” He hated that feeling. Wait, isn’t Tilly, like, a character whose around when Voldemort died. Then again, it makes no sense.
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: The first part of chapter one involves “a vision Voldemort has three nights before his final battle”. Tilly already has Voldemort’s baby, and is trying to starve him, but decides he is nothing like his father. Voldemort then goes and tells everyone about his vision of everyone’s demise. Lucky them, their children will fulfill the prophesy. There is a Braxton Dolohov, son of Antonin running around. Then Voldemort dies at the end, sweating “see you soon Potter.” Skiping the character page, Flint is a teacher, and “Tilly stayed back to give her favorite teacher a gift.” Is he teaching at a Muggle school, or at Hogwarts? It isn’t really clear. She runs into Cedric, is called Tilly Willy, and it’s about them meeting, and nothing happening.
ORIGIN: I don’t know what the writer was thinking on this one beyond the fact she’s sixteen and rather inexperienced in regards to fanfiction. I’m struggling to make sense of this. Look. Voldemort is dead, gone for good. Rowling made that quite clear. This didn’t change with Cursed Child either, or we’d likely have a very different story. Braxton is the second key, but also pretends to hate Tilly. Cedric is Braxtons best friend and death eater. Amelia hates being on team “Save Voldemort”. (That is the writer’s own thing.) Gabriella’s this generation’s Bellatrix, and Tilly’s love rival and only useful for fulfilling the prophesy. Douglas, Shenzie and Macolm are “snathers. Madison is Tilly’s best friend and a witch., but so is Alexander. The last are her parents.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: First, “oblivious to the power she yields”. Second, “is the key element to a prophecy involving an enemy from be beyond the grave.” This one got an instant Toxic rating from the summary alone. I think she gives birth to Voldemort’s child instead of Bellatrix. Then, in the second chapter which is just character summaries, “she is a witch but has no idea that she is (I know you may be thinking “How would you knot know you’re a witch?” Well this child’s powers never really showed themselves…just yet!” Nope, sorry, but things don’t work that way, particularly since ypu labeled her as a Muggle. I’m also wondering why anybody would care to save Voldemort after his second defeat as well.
NOTES: The writer’s profile says they’re sixteen. It is the new year, so there are chances I may be including spoilers for Cursed Child now. The writer really needs to brush up on their Harry Potter canon, and I’m not talking about the Cursed Child play, but the actual books.
SAMPLE:
"You will be defeated..." said faint whispers within his dreams. More visions followed, his weakened body turning to ash and the pieces scattering by quiet wind. He...Voldemort, a mask of terror set forth to be prosperous in the world of magic, beaten by a group of lowly children.
The vision then panned around to his loyal death eaters and their demise...pathetic.
As that vision ended another one began. It started off completely dark, but gradually the darkness was replaced with light and muffled noise. A young dark-haired girl appeared laughing as she laid out upon crisp green grass gazing at a blue sky. "Tilly" called a voice. The girl got up and ran towards the caller. This picture once again faded and was replaced with screaming cries from the same girl, only she was surrounded by dark cloaked figures. "They must be their children" he said to himself referring to his fallen death eaters.
"Braxton Dolohov how is he?" A young man walked into the room and peered at the screaming girl;
However he was carrying something very small hidden beneath a jacket. Braxton sat down on the bed where the girl was bound. "You can't let him starve Tilly, you're his mother." The girl looked at him and spat "I want nothing to do with that monster now let me go!" By this point Voldemort was confused as to what exactly was going on, but he continued to watch. Braxton grabbed the girls arm with one hand and struck her hard across the face with the other causing her to fall back. "This is my son and our leader...I will beat you until you do as I've asked and feed him!" The boy removed the jacket revealing an infant boy. He was very pale and had jet black hair. Tilly reached out her hand allowing the babe to put his tiny hand in hers.
This child looked nothing like his father? Although eyes tell many stories of future and past, so Voldemort drifted to the mothers side and looked at the child's eyes...the color of blood.
He understood what the vision was trying to tell him...
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Voldemort jumped from his sleep and called his followers to a meeting.
"My brothers...sisters, I have had another vision. One that revealed to me of our demise." A gasp escaped and echoed from the entire room causing the whispering began. The Dark Lord raised his hand to silence them "In three days, we will go to war with the wizards and witches of Hogwarts and I will be killed." All were silent and he continued "Many of you as well will perish along my side..."
Antonin interrupted "That's rubbish! There is no one of this world that is stronger than you my lord-"
"My visions never deceive me!" Voldemort hissed causing Antonin to hold his tongue and sit down. "However, the vision has also revealed to me a way that I we may live on..."
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
- The Fourteenth Annual Pottersues is also currently running.
Day five is “five gold rings” and ended up with quite a few. The first one was a doozy though.
TITLE:
PERPETRATOR: SnowWolf15
SUE-O-METER: Toxic.
COVER/BANNER ART: Cover art isn’t showing up today.
SUMMARY:”Muggle-born Tilly Partridge, a junior in college who's oblivious to the power she yields, is the key element to a prophecy involving an enemy from beyond the grave. Follow Tilly as she runs from death eaters and snatchers set on bringing their leader back from death. Will Tilly escape her faith while finding love along the way or will the prophecy ring true? Read to find out!”
FULL NAME: Tilly Partridge and company
SPECIES: She’s a college student who got passed over for her Harry Potter adventure, but is still super special and important to the plot. She also brings along with her a Braxton Dolohov, Cedric Knightheart, Amelia Petersons, Gabriella Sparrows, Douglas Eldernew, Shenzie Markeet, Malcom Markeet, Madison Kippler, Alexander Ruthford, Martha Partridge, Bobby Partridge.
HAIR:
EYES:
MARKINGS: Tilly is 22, Braxton 24, Cedric 27, Amelia 23, Gabriella 25, Douglas 19, Shenzie 18, Malcom 18, Alexander 22, Martha 45, Bobby 51. “Part of him wanted to fulfill the prophesy to save his mother but another part kept picturing Tilly’s soft skin pressed against his own.” He hated that feeling. Wait, isn’t Tilly, like, a character whose around when Voldemort died. Then again, it makes no sense.
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: The first part of chapter one involves “a vision Voldemort has three nights before his final battle”. Tilly already has Voldemort’s baby, and is trying to starve him, but decides he is nothing like his father. Voldemort then goes and tells everyone about his vision of everyone’s demise. Lucky them, their children will fulfill the prophesy. There is a Braxton Dolohov, son of Antonin running around. Then Voldemort dies at the end, sweating “see you soon Potter.” Skiping the character page, Flint is a teacher, and “Tilly stayed back to give her favorite teacher a gift.” Is he teaching at a Muggle school, or at Hogwarts? It isn’t really clear. She runs into Cedric, is called Tilly Willy, and it’s about them meeting, and nothing happening.
ORIGIN: I don’t know what the writer was thinking on this one beyond the fact she’s sixteen and rather inexperienced in regards to fanfiction. I’m struggling to make sense of this. Look. Voldemort is dead, gone for good. Rowling made that quite clear. This didn’t change with Cursed Child either, or we’d likely have a very different story. Braxton is the second key, but also pretends to hate Tilly. Cedric is Braxtons best friend and death eater. Amelia hates being on team “Save Voldemort”. (That is the writer’s own thing.) Gabriella’s this generation’s Bellatrix, and Tilly’s love rival and only useful for fulfilling the prophesy. Douglas, Shenzie and Macolm are “snathers. Madison is Tilly’s best friend and a witch., but so is Alexander. The last are her parents.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: First, “oblivious to the power she yields”. Second, “is the key element to a prophecy involving an enemy from be beyond the grave.” This one got an instant Toxic rating from the summary alone. I think she gives birth to Voldemort’s child instead of Bellatrix. Then, in the second chapter which is just character summaries, “she is a witch but has no idea that she is (I know you may be thinking “How would you knot know you’re a witch?” Well this child’s powers never really showed themselves…just yet!” Nope, sorry, but things don’t work that way, particularly since ypu labeled her as a Muggle. I’m also wondering why anybody would care to save Voldemort after his second defeat as well.
NOTES: The writer’s profile says they’re sixteen. It is the new year, so there are chances I may be including spoilers for Cursed Child now. The writer really needs to brush up on their Harry Potter canon, and I’m not talking about the Cursed Child play, but the actual books.
SAMPLE:
"You will be defeated..." said faint whispers within his dreams. More visions followed, his weakened body turning to ash and the pieces scattering by quiet wind. He...Voldemort, a mask of terror set forth to be prosperous in the world of magic, beaten by a group of lowly children.
The vision then panned around to his loyal death eaters and their demise...pathetic.
As that vision ended another one began. It started off completely dark, but gradually the darkness was replaced with light and muffled noise. A young dark-haired girl appeared laughing as she laid out upon crisp green grass gazing at a blue sky. "Tilly" called a voice. The girl got up and ran towards the caller. This picture once again faded and was replaced with screaming cries from the same girl, only she was surrounded by dark cloaked figures. "They must be their children" he said to himself referring to his fallen death eaters.
"Braxton Dolohov how is he?" A young man walked into the room and peered at the screaming girl;
However he was carrying something very small hidden beneath a jacket. Braxton sat down on the bed where the girl was bound. "You can't let him starve Tilly, you're his mother." The girl looked at him and spat "I want nothing to do with that monster now let me go!" By this point Voldemort was confused as to what exactly was going on, but he continued to watch. Braxton grabbed the girls arm with one hand and struck her hard across the face with the other causing her to fall back. "This is my son and our leader...I will beat you until you do as I've asked and feed him!" The boy removed the jacket revealing an infant boy. He was very pale and had jet black hair. Tilly reached out her hand allowing the babe to put his tiny hand in hers.
This child looked nothing like his father? Although eyes tell many stories of future and past, so Voldemort drifted to the mothers side and looked at the child's eyes...the color of blood.
He understood what the vision was trying to tell him...
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Voldemort jumped from his sleep and called his followers to a meeting.
"My brothers...sisters, I have had another vision. One that revealed to me of our demise." A gasp escaped and echoed from the entire room causing the whispering began. The Dark Lord raised his hand to silence them "In three days, we will go to war with the wizards and witches of Hogwarts and I will be killed." All were silent and he continued "Many of you as well will perish along my side..."
Antonin interrupted "That's rubbish! There is no one of this world that is stronger than you my lord-"
"My visions never deceive me!" Voldemort hissed causing Antonin to hold his tongue and sit down. "However, the vision has also revealed to me a way that I we may live on..."