4029: Floral and Fading - Rhiannon Greenwood
- The link of the day is , and here are some of the previous links of the day which you may find useful. In this particular case, I picked the entry because the test is useful, but the creator also has a ton of essays regarding creating an OC.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
Today I went through my e-mails looking for past entries beyond the one I got over LJ. One of the writers of a Twilight crossover apparently attempted to contact me back in August in regards to something I posted back in 2014 over two years ago. According to them, I need permission to do what I’m doing, which I do not, as critique falls under fair use. Nor do I need to let them know. They posted an author’s note to one of their stories calling the minions wannabe fans, but referred to themselves as a Pureblood Potterhead. I’m still wrapping my head around the fact the referred to themselves with the word Pureblood, if they’re such a serious Potter fan. I mean, there are some serious derogatory connotations to that word. And no, getting a bunch of Twihards to say your story is good doesn’t really work, as we all know many are in denial about how bad Twilight is.
TITLE: Floral and Fading
PERPETRATOR: Cyan Rubies
SUE-O-METER: Good
COVER/BANNER ART: The writer’s avatar looks like an Anime character with a crown being placed on his head run through a negative filter.
SUMMARY:”Rhiannon Greenwood is a lost girl returning to Britain after years. With her transfer to Hogwarts, she discovers two things: 1. The entire Quidditch team is unbelievably attractive. 2. 'Tergeo' is easily the most important spell of all, especially if your best mates are called Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas. [Rated T for trigger warnings. Begins in COS with minor canon divergence]”
FULL NAME: Rhiannon Greenwood
SPECIES: Character with Mary Sue traits
HAIR: In chapter one, there is a mentioning of her mom brushing away her hair from her face.
EYES: “Her eyes were a warm brown, as compared to my own- my eyes were a colder, harsher grey.”
MARKINGS: Nothing that really stood out to me.
POSSESSIONS: She has typical stuff for a student. She’s got a Puddlemere United scarf, and Green Day, Nirvana, Queen, Three Days Grace banners. (Excelent selection of bands for the OC to be interested in, all of which fall into time requirements.)
CONNECTION TO CANON: In the first chapter, she gets a letter from Draco. We don’t know the exact connection, other than the fact they are on good enough terms for Draco (I am assuming that is what D.M. stands for) are the same person. She gets her Hogwarts letter. In chapter two, she finds the sorting strange. She ends up being a Gryffindor. I’m cutting this short, as I really want people to check this one out.
ORIGIN: I’m under the impression the writer is fully aware of how transfer student stories normally turn out, and decided they want to write a story where the character doesn’t fall into all of the traps. I don’t honestly, as of writing this part, not yet know why she’s transferring, as I’ve just done a quick glance over, but I’m not “not believing” it either. She’s also friends with Draco, at least distantly, and yet this part is believable. And while the canon events do go on, they’re in the background and she’s an onlooker. She may possibly be a relative of the Malfoy family, but I’m still reading the first chapter at this point.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Nothing. By this I mean she’s a well balanced character with sound strengths and weaknesses. She is a third year from France, and feels like a character who moved to a new country.
NOTES: Today’s entry jumped out at me because of the summary. The summary for starters listed off a bunch of Mary Sue traits, but it was also rather well written, so I went in hoping for a story with the Mary Sue trait of being a transfer student, and yet the character wasn’t a Mary Sue. My hopes weren’t dashed on this one. So please, do check this one out and review. I’d say I’m surprised the story doesn’t have more reviews, but as I and the minions know, people seem to gravitate towards the Mary Sues in regards to OCs.
SAMPLE:
Lugging my belongings back home after what seemed to be a dream too good to be true.
Staring at the house before me, I raised my hand as I rapped the door lightly. There was a loud crack as the door opened, and I was met with a familiar house elf.
Pattie had long since served my family. She frowned while looking up at me, her nose even sniffling a bit.
"Young Mistress certainly looks as unruly as she did the last time she came to visit." Pattie half-lectured as I walked through the door. Compliantly, my hand made its way to my hair and I quickly retied it into a neater ponytail.
"Hello, Pattie. Has Mom come home yet?" I asked her, tugging my luggage behind me. Pattie shook her head.
Mom worked long hours at the Ministry. One summer a few years ago, she sent me overseas and barely contacted me. On the other hand, I never did find out why she had sent me overseas. Though to be honest, I didn't know why she had asked for me to return, either.
Climbing upstairs, I stepped tentatively to last room to the left of the hall. It felt strange stepping foot here after what felt like a few years.
I pushed open the door to my room. A small wooden sign hung on the door, with words written on it.
'Rhiannon'.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
Today I went through my e-mails looking for past entries beyond the one I got over LJ. One of the writers of a Twilight crossover apparently attempted to contact me back in August in regards to something I posted back in 2014 over two years ago. According to them, I need permission to do what I’m doing, which I do not, as critique falls under fair use. Nor do I need to let them know. They posted an author’s note to one of their stories calling the minions wannabe fans, but referred to themselves as a Pureblood Potterhead. I’m still wrapping my head around the fact the referred to themselves with the word Pureblood, if they’re such a serious Potter fan. I mean, there are some serious derogatory connotations to that word. And no, getting a bunch of Twihards to say your story is good doesn’t really work, as we all know many are in denial about how bad Twilight is.
TITLE: Floral and Fading
PERPETRATOR: Cyan Rubies
SUE-O-METER: Good
COVER/BANNER ART: The writer’s avatar looks like an Anime character with a crown being placed on his head run through a negative filter.
SUMMARY:”Rhiannon Greenwood is a lost girl returning to Britain after years. With her transfer to Hogwarts, she discovers two things: 1. The entire Quidditch team is unbelievably attractive. 2. 'Tergeo' is easily the most important spell of all, especially if your best mates are called Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas. [Rated T for trigger warnings. Begins in COS with minor canon divergence]”
FULL NAME: Rhiannon Greenwood
SPECIES: Character with Mary Sue traits
HAIR: In chapter one, there is a mentioning of her mom brushing away her hair from her face.
EYES: “Her eyes were a warm brown, as compared to my own- my eyes were a colder, harsher grey.”
MARKINGS: Nothing that really stood out to me.
POSSESSIONS: She has typical stuff for a student. She’s got a Puddlemere United scarf, and Green Day, Nirvana, Queen, Three Days Grace banners. (Excelent selection of bands for the OC to be interested in, all of which fall into time requirements.)
CONNECTION TO CANON: In the first chapter, she gets a letter from Draco. We don’t know the exact connection, other than the fact they are on good enough terms for Draco (I am assuming that is what D.M. stands for) are the same person. She gets her Hogwarts letter. In chapter two, she finds the sorting strange. She ends up being a Gryffindor. I’m cutting this short, as I really want people to check this one out.
ORIGIN: I’m under the impression the writer is fully aware of how transfer student stories normally turn out, and decided they want to write a story where the character doesn’t fall into all of the traps. I don’t honestly, as of writing this part, not yet know why she’s transferring, as I’ve just done a quick glance over, but I’m not “not believing” it either. She’s also friends with Draco, at least distantly, and yet this part is believable. And while the canon events do go on, they’re in the background and she’s an onlooker. She may possibly be a relative of the Malfoy family, but I’m still reading the first chapter at this point.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Nothing. By this I mean she’s a well balanced character with sound strengths and weaknesses. She is a third year from France, and feels like a character who moved to a new country.
NOTES: Today’s entry jumped out at me because of the summary. The summary for starters listed off a bunch of Mary Sue traits, but it was also rather well written, so I went in hoping for a story with the Mary Sue trait of being a transfer student, and yet the character wasn’t a Mary Sue. My hopes weren’t dashed on this one. So please, do check this one out and review. I’d say I’m surprised the story doesn’t have more reviews, but as I and the minions know, people seem to gravitate towards the Mary Sues in regards to OCs.
SAMPLE:
Lugging my belongings back home after what seemed to be a dream too good to be true.
Staring at the house before me, I raised my hand as I rapped the door lightly. There was a loud crack as the door opened, and I was met with a familiar house elf.
Pattie had long since served my family. She frowned while looking up at me, her nose even sniffling a bit.
"Young Mistress certainly looks as unruly as she did the last time she came to visit." Pattie half-lectured as I walked through the door. Compliantly, my hand made its way to my hair and I quickly retied it into a neater ponytail.
"Hello, Pattie. Has Mom come home yet?" I asked her, tugging my luggage behind me. Pattie shook her head.
Mom worked long hours at the Ministry. One summer a few years ago, she sent me overseas and barely contacted me. On the other hand, I never did find out why she had sent me overseas. Though to be honest, I didn't know why she had asked for me to return, either.
Climbing upstairs, I stepped tentatively to last room to the left of the hall. It felt strange stepping foot here after what felt like a few years.
I pushed open the door to my room. A small wooden sign hung on the door, with words written on it.
'Rhiannon'.