3667: Sex, Love, Bell jaws, and Time Travel - Hermione Granger
- The link of the day is Warning!! RANT! 'ANNOYING FANFICTION'.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
TITLE: Sex, Love, Bell jars, and Time Travel
PERPETRATOR: BiblioCat13
SUE-O-METER:
COVER/BANNER ART:
SUMMARY:”Hermione Granger: Heroine, bookworm, beauty, seductress and liar. A hypocritical ex, PTSD, a grieving sex fiend AND time travel!”
FULL NAME: Hermione Granger
SPECIES: not Hermione Granger
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: A letter to past Dumbledore, and a sex drive which is out of character for Hermione.
CONNECTION TO CANON: The first chapter is about Hermione fucking George to help him get over the loss of Fred. Second chapter has her in a positive mood about Harry and Ginny being back together, only for Harry to climb into her bed next without Ginny knowing. The chapter also claims they had sex while Ron was gone during the seventh book. Chapter three is her making out with Ron, only to later find out that Harry and Ginny are engaged. Forth chapter has her telling Harry he has to tell Ginny, and she tells Ron, and he tells her to rightfully shove off, and not mention Harry's name either. Fifth chapter she's randomly getting raped by Fenrir Greyback. Chapter six has her place the blame on Ron, while Harry comforts her, and George is suddenly moving in. We then skip around and she's finished fucking George, and George goes off on Ron for being a git. (Dude, this girls just slept with your brothers best friend, and you. He's got good reason to be pissed off with her.) Of course, this gets ignored. She then later on whines about how when she tries to get it on, she sees Fenrir Greyback, and she makes out with George again. Again in chapter eight. Chapter nine is an author's note about the writer having cancer, and whether Hermione should end up with Remus or Sirius. (How about neither, due to the fact being a sex fiend is actually not healthy for relationships?) Chapter ten and eleven are more making out with George, and she takes a pregnancy test. She asks if she wants him to be pregnant, and he says he doesn't mind because they love each other, only for her to tell them they're not together. (Um, considering the fact she has sex with him more than any other character, I'd say yes, they are a couple.) Since he decides to be serious about her relationship, she treats him like shit, he reasonably gets upset, and she blames him, or the writer does. Suddenly in chapter twelve Ron, Ginny and Harry get killed off by “pureblood extremists” despite the canon material. She then decides to run away from everybody, and erases George's memory of her. (Apparently Dumbledore is still alive.) She randomly time travels despite the regulations. Chapter fifteen is an author's note about a death in the family. Chapter sixteen goes into how this is a special mission, just like all the other time traveling Sues out there. She's also now thinking of who she wants to have sex with first, Remus or Sirius. Chapter eighteen, hand over her letter that is her proof, and they believe her way to easily. She lectures Albus and Minerva about Snape being important and their prejudices which didn't exist in the original canon in chapter nineteen. It ends with her trying to get them to go after Peter Petigrew instead. Chapter twenty, apparently they noticed, but choose to do nothing about it.
ORIGIN: The writer wanted to write smut, decided to explain Hermione's out of character behavior by giving her PTSD, but also tries to pretend the story is more than just sex.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: This isn't Hermione. The past doesn't need to be changed. End of story.
NOTES: I wish Suethors wouldn't use grief and PTSD as an excuse to have sex, but also excuse making a character a sex fiend when they're not.
SAMPLE:
Rain. Rain is what I heard when I first woke up. Rain like pebbles against the windows of Grimmauld Place. The first thing I saw was the gray sky outside the tear stained windows. The second thing I saw was the tear stained face of one George Weasley.
"Dreaming about Fred again?" I asked him. I knew the answer. It was always Fred. George didn't bother with a reply, instead he pressed his lips to my collar bone and I felt his need against my leg. His grief had made him insatiable, and I, Hermione Granger, was sleeping with the one Weasley brother I never thought I'd end up with.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
TITLE: Sex, Love, Bell jars, and Time Travel
PERPETRATOR: BiblioCat13
SUE-O-METER:
COVER/BANNER ART:
SUMMARY:”Hermione Granger: Heroine, bookworm, beauty, seductress and liar. A hypocritical ex, PTSD, a grieving sex fiend AND time travel!”
FULL NAME: Hermione Granger
SPECIES: not Hermione Granger
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: A letter to past Dumbledore, and a sex drive which is out of character for Hermione.
CONNECTION TO CANON: The first chapter is about Hermione fucking George to help him get over the loss of Fred. Second chapter has her in a positive mood about Harry and Ginny being back together, only for Harry to climb into her bed next without Ginny knowing. The chapter also claims they had sex while Ron was gone during the seventh book. Chapter three is her making out with Ron, only to later find out that Harry and Ginny are engaged. Forth chapter has her telling Harry he has to tell Ginny, and she tells Ron, and he tells her to rightfully shove off, and not mention Harry's name either. Fifth chapter she's randomly getting raped by Fenrir Greyback. Chapter six has her place the blame on Ron, while Harry comforts her, and George is suddenly moving in. We then skip around and she's finished fucking George, and George goes off on Ron for being a git. (Dude, this girls just slept with your brothers best friend, and you. He's got good reason to be pissed off with her.) Of course, this gets ignored. She then later on whines about how when she tries to get it on, she sees Fenrir Greyback, and she makes out with George again. Again in chapter eight. Chapter nine is an author's note about the writer having cancer, and whether Hermione should end up with Remus or Sirius. (How about neither, due to the fact being a sex fiend is actually not healthy for relationships?) Chapter ten and eleven are more making out with George, and she takes a pregnancy test. She asks if she wants him to be pregnant, and he says he doesn't mind because they love each other, only for her to tell them they're not together. (Um, considering the fact she has sex with him more than any other character, I'd say yes, they are a couple.) Since he decides to be serious about her relationship, she treats him like shit, he reasonably gets upset, and she blames him, or the writer does. Suddenly in chapter twelve Ron, Ginny and Harry get killed off by “pureblood extremists” despite the canon material. She then decides to run away from everybody, and erases George's memory of her. (Apparently Dumbledore is still alive.) She randomly time travels despite the regulations. Chapter fifteen is an author's note about a death in the family. Chapter sixteen goes into how this is a special mission, just like all the other time traveling Sues out there. She's also now thinking of who she wants to have sex with first, Remus or Sirius. Chapter eighteen, hand over her letter that is her proof, and they believe her way to easily. She lectures Albus and Minerva about Snape being important and their prejudices which didn't exist in the original canon in chapter nineteen. It ends with her trying to get them to go after Peter Petigrew instead. Chapter twenty, apparently they noticed, but choose to do nothing about it.
ORIGIN: The writer wanted to write smut, decided to explain Hermione's out of character behavior by giving her PTSD, but also tries to pretend the story is more than just sex.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: This isn't Hermione. The past doesn't need to be changed. End of story.
NOTES: I wish Suethors wouldn't use grief and PTSD as an excuse to have sex, but also excuse making a character a sex fiend when they're not.
SAMPLE:
Rain. Rain is what I heard when I first woke up. Rain like pebbles against the windows of Grimmauld Place. The first thing I saw was the gray sky outside the tear stained windows. The second thing I saw was the tear stained face of one George Weasley.
"Dreaming about Fred again?" I asked him. I knew the answer. It was always Fred. George didn't bother with a reply, instead he pressed his lips to my collar bone and I felt his need against my leg. His grief had made him insatiable, and I, Hermione Granger, was sleeping with the one Weasley brother I never thought I'd end up with.