3644: Begin Again - Ella Wood
- The link of the day is Rant: KHR. I've no clue what this fandom is, but the rant was interesting.
- Flashback Sue
TITLE: Begin Again
PERPETRATOR: bellatrixD
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: None. The writer doesn't do cover are and avatars.
SUMMARY:”"Ella Wood," he whispered into the night, like a secret only for him to know. "You're the most infuriating, selfless, stupid, beautiful, idiotic, loving person I know. And I love you." I buried my head into is warm neck, glad to have my sunshine back in the midst of the surrounding darkness. "I'm broken," I said. "Bloody hell, you lose a bit of hair and you go mental. Women."”
FULL NAME: Ella Wood
SPECIES: spezul sqib
HAIR: dark
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: Nothing specific.
POSSESSIONS: A dog, but no magical powers.
CONNECTION TO CANON: Chapter 1: The Sue gets caught in a snowstorm, and found herself living with an old couple in Ottery St. Catchpole because they believe her when she claims her parents don't want her. (There names are Bill and Nanny Anne) Chapter 2: To the village she is an enigma, but again nobody asks where she came from, and instead she plays go fish only to say the game is stupid because she's to smart for the game, so Bill wants to teach her Black Jack. She goes to the backery, and meets one of the twins because they still her cupcake Turns out to be George. (Why does that feel like something neither one of the twins would do, particularly to a stranger?) Chapter 3: She doesn't see George in the school, and nobody in her class knows about the Weasley family. Mostly the chapter is about how they're now a real family, and she's upset because she's a “squib”, and tells them all about magic, and how she's never shown any signs. She gets excited when she sees the family conveniently use the Floo, and they're still not looking for her real parents. She meets up with George again in the forth chapter, and it's about her birthday as well. Woe be her, in chapter five Nanny Anne gets sick with coughing fits which involve a lot of blood. There are a ton of letters wishing the family well. Of course, by the end Nanny Anne dies, because the Sue isn't allowed to be happy long. Chapter six, she's grieving, and George talks to her some more. (Where's Fred?) Chapter seven is titled, “If this was a movie”, and we get the line “... then the next five years of my life would be thrown over the camera, completely ignored in favour of the grand scheme fate had planned. And possibly to shorten the amount of time for what would be deemed as dull to outsiders but completely mind boggling to the one undergoing the transformation, in this case me.” It's all about her now becoming a teenager, getting over Nanny Anne's death - the Sue really doesn't feel like she's doing anything, and the plot elements feel superficial for some reason. A bully conveniently shows up in chapter eight. In chapter nine, she gets a visit from Dumbledore, and nobody is questioning why she ran away from her family. She finds out now that Bill is dead, and he's been burried instantly as per wizard custom. (Seriously, don't make up things Suethor just to add more woe to your character. I was debating between the awful and toxic ratings, but this garanteed the toxic rating.) This allows for an arrangement to be made so she can go and live at Hogwarts to work and study. (Another thing justifying the toxic rating.) This allows her to be there the forth year so she can be romantically involved with George. I'm also done reading, as the plot is super forced.
ORIGIN: She's a runaway, but nobody turns her in and instead believe her. If we're not getting angst about her past, or her woes be mes, we're getting fluff about how good her life is now.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Ella's parents had an etiquette standard noted in the first chapter. She's eight at the beginning of the story.
NOTES: The writing honestly isn't bad, but the first problem lies in the fact the old couple does nothing to find her family and just believe her. Second, her “new” family, despite being wizards are known to the Muggles, but the Weasley family is not. The third problem is the fact there is no middle ground for the Sue. Either really happy stuff is going on, or really bad stuff. Oh, and let's not forget the problem of Fred not being around with his twin.
Having looked at the reviews, it seems the readers are more concerned with how “cute” the angst ridden Sue is rather than whether the plot is actually feasible. The character also felt really stilted personality wise. The story's over 175,000 words and 37 chapters.
SAMPLE:
"Goodbye Ella, don't be shy now, come around and play with Jonathan whenever you feel like."
"Thank you Mrs Pike, I'll try and visit soon."
At last, the remaining guests had finally left. All night the house was filled with families from the village of Ottery St. Catchpole after hearing of the appearance of the 'mysterious new girl'. The small village hardly had any exciting happenings and with the tight knit community, the rumour spread quickly and Nanny Anne and Bill were catering for a full house of people in no time.
After being accepted into the household of my new carers, Bill and Jimmy led me around the village despite Nanny Anne's protest for me to stay indoors for my health - I had only just returned to a somewhat average temperature. He showed me their paper shop first as it was adjacent to their - our - home. While he organised the stock, I was left to roam around the shop floor. The knick-knacks on the counter caught my attention and I spent most of my time analysing them. There were key rings showing sceneries of hills and foreign beaches, tiny packets of sweets, nuts and dried fruit, an array of colourful threads, yo-yos and a few packs of cards.
Bill then showed me through the market as he had to pick up a few items needed for lunch and dinner. Not many people were out and almost the entire street was barren of stalls due to the thick layer of snow splayed out from the storm. All the while Bill would be talking about the village and its occupants. I had found out my new home was now in Devon, a fact which did not surprise me as much it would have if it were not for the fact that I had been staying with my family at their holiday cottage in Somerset at the time, as opposed to our everyday London home.
Jimmy was constantly by my side, leading me this way and that, as if chaperoning me himself. The sweet dog didn't hesitate to pull me along to his favourite spots, one of them being a large tree at the bottom of Stoatshead Hill - a sign by the hill said. As I was about to venture further up the hill to discover the wonders of the village beyond (I could have sworn I heard a running stream close by), Bill had called out that we should be heading back.
Upon returning home, we were greeted with several cheerful faces much to my dismay. More people arrived late into the night and, for once, I felt a deep sense of loneliness surrounded by crowds of strangers. Nanny Anne and Bill were swept away, busy attending to the needs of the guests and Jimmy was being hassled by several children. This left me alone to deal with the relentless questioning. Question after question. The feeling of immense panic crept onto me like hundreds of spiders crawling over my bare skin. It itched and prickled but I couldn't escape. Bill and Nanny Anne had been nice enough to make a cover story for me as I was still unwilling to share my story to them after breakfast, however I still found myself freezing up whenever asked. It was only when Nanny Anne entered the room and sought me out amongst the crowd, registering the look of frightfulness on my face that she huddled me into the confines of the kitchen where I was left with the sweet and savoury smells of her lush dinner.
And that was when I met Zoe. Zoe Brimble wobbled into the kitchen and fell unceremoniously onto her behind, giggling like a lunatic and letting out snorts every few seconds. Her laughter caused her to fall back onto the floor where she rolled over several times and banged her fists on the floor before - finally - calming down enough to sit herself back up, red in the face splotched with tears. That was when she noticed me staring. She stood up and made her way towards me looking completely at ease, not at all embarrassed by how she was sprawled out on the floor in hysterics only moments before.
"I'm Zoe Brimble and I'm 10 years old. Dad says you're the new girl." Her greeting was so formal unlike any other child's. She stuck her hand out.
Zoe was a tall girl even for a ten year old. I had to stand to get a decent grip on her hand. After introducing myself for the umpteenth time that night, Zoe led me out of the kitchens and to a boy her age: Jonathan 'Nate' Pike. We spent the rest of the evening together finding out about each other's favourite hobbies and animals and childhood stories, until they all departed along with the rest of the guests, Nate leaving last with his mother as she was delightedly gushing over Johnny's new little friend, producing a bright red blush on his face.
- Flashback Sue
TITLE: Begin Again
PERPETRATOR: bellatrixD
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: None. The writer doesn't do cover are and avatars.
SUMMARY:”"Ella Wood," he whispered into the night, like a secret only for him to know. "You're the most infuriating, selfless, stupid, beautiful, idiotic, loving person I know. And I love you." I buried my head into is warm neck, glad to have my sunshine back in the midst of the surrounding darkness. "I'm broken," I said. "Bloody hell, you lose a bit of hair and you go mental. Women."”
FULL NAME: Ella Wood
SPECIES: spezul sqib
HAIR: dark
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: Nothing specific.
POSSESSIONS: A dog, but no magical powers.
CONNECTION TO CANON: Chapter 1: The Sue gets caught in a snowstorm, and found herself living with an old couple in Ottery St. Catchpole because they believe her when she claims her parents don't want her. (There names are Bill and Nanny Anne) Chapter 2: To the village she is an enigma, but again nobody asks where she came from, and instead she plays go fish only to say the game is stupid because she's to smart for the game, so Bill wants to teach her Black Jack. She goes to the backery, and meets one of the twins because they still her cupcake Turns out to be George. (Why does that feel like something neither one of the twins would do, particularly to a stranger?) Chapter 3: She doesn't see George in the school, and nobody in her class knows about the Weasley family. Mostly the chapter is about how they're now a real family, and she's upset because she's a “squib”, and tells them all about magic, and how she's never shown any signs. She gets excited when she sees the family conveniently use the Floo, and they're still not looking for her real parents. She meets up with George again in the forth chapter, and it's about her birthday as well. Woe be her, in chapter five Nanny Anne gets sick with coughing fits which involve a lot of blood. There are a ton of letters wishing the family well. Of course, by the end Nanny Anne dies, because the Sue isn't allowed to be happy long. Chapter six, she's grieving, and George talks to her some more. (Where's Fred?) Chapter seven is titled, “If this was a movie”, and we get the line “... then the next five years of my life would be thrown over the camera, completely ignored in favour of the grand scheme fate had planned. And possibly to shorten the amount of time for what would be deemed as dull to outsiders but completely mind boggling to the one undergoing the transformation, in this case me.” It's all about her now becoming a teenager, getting over Nanny Anne's death - the Sue really doesn't feel like she's doing anything, and the plot elements feel superficial for some reason. A bully conveniently shows up in chapter eight. In chapter nine, she gets a visit from Dumbledore, and nobody is questioning why she ran away from her family. She finds out now that Bill is dead, and he's been burried instantly as per wizard custom. (Seriously, don't make up things Suethor just to add more woe to your character. I was debating between the awful and toxic ratings, but this garanteed the toxic rating.) This allows for an arrangement to be made so she can go and live at Hogwarts to work and study. (Another thing justifying the toxic rating.) This allows her to be there the forth year so she can be romantically involved with George. I'm also done reading, as the plot is super forced.
ORIGIN: She's a runaway, but nobody turns her in and instead believe her. If we're not getting angst about her past, or her woes be mes, we're getting fluff about how good her life is now.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Ella's parents had an etiquette standard noted in the first chapter. She's eight at the beginning of the story.
NOTES: The writing honestly isn't bad, but the first problem lies in the fact the old couple does nothing to find her family and just believe her. Second, her “new” family, despite being wizards are known to the Muggles, but the Weasley family is not. The third problem is the fact there is no middle ground for the Sue. Either really happy stuff is going on, or really bad stuff. Oh, and let's not forget the problem of Fred not being around with his twin.
Having looked at the reviews, it seems the readers are more concerned with how “cute” the angst ridden Sue is rather than whether the plot is actually feasible. The character also felt really stilted personality wise. The story's over 175,000 words and 37 chapters.
SAMPLE:
"Goodbye Ella, don't be shy now, come around and play with Jonathan whenever you feel like."
"Thank you Mrs Pike, I'll try and visit soon."
At last, the remaining guests had finally left. All night the house was filled with families from the village of Ottery St. Catchpole after hearing of the appearance of the 'mysterious new girl'. The small village hardly had any exciting happenings and with the tight knit community, the rumour spread quickly and Nanny Anne and Bill were catering for a full house of people in no time.
After being accepted into the household of my new carers, Bill and Jimmy led me around the village despite Nanny Anne's protest for me to stay indoors for my health - I had only just returned to a somewhat average temperature. He showed me their paper shop first as it was adjacent to their - our - home. While he organised the stock, I was left to roam around the shop floor. The knick-knacks on the counter caught my attention and I spent most of my time analysing them. There were key rings showing sceneries of hills and foreign beaches, tiny packets of sweets, nuts and dried fruit, an array of colourful threads, yo-yos and a few packs of cards.
Bill then showed me through the market as he had to pick up a few items needed for lunch and dinner. Not many people were out and almost the entire street was barren of stalls due to the thick layer of snow splayed out from the storm. All the while Bill would be talking about the village and its occupants. I had found out my new home was now in Devon, a fact which did not surprise me as much it would have if it were not for the fact that I had been staying with my family at their holiday cottage in Somerset at the time, as opposed to our everyday London home.
Jimmy was constantly by my side, leading me this way and that, as if chaperoning me himself. The sweet dog didn't hesitate to pull me along to his favourite spots, one of them being a large tree at the bottom of Stoatshead Hill - a sign by the hill said. As I was about to venture further up the hill to discover the wonders of the village beyond (I could have sworn I heard a running stream close by), Bill had called out that we should be heading back.
Upon returning home, we were greeted with several cheerful faces much to my dismay. More people arrived late into the night and, for once, I felt a deep sense of loneliness surrounded by crowds of strangers. Nanny Anne and Bill were swept away, busy attending to the needs of the guests and Jimmy was being hassled by several children. This left me alone to deal with the relentless questioning. Question after question. The feeling of immense panic crept onto me like hundreds of spiders crawling over my bare skin. It itched and prickled but I couldn't escape. Bill and Nanny Anne had been nice enough to make a cover story for me as I was still unwilling to share my story to them after breakfast, however I still found myself freezing up whenever asked. It was only when Nanny Anne entered the room and sought me out amongst the crowd, registering the look of frightfulness on my face that she huddled me into the confines of the kitchen where I was left with the sweet and savoury smells of her lush dinner.
And that was when I met Zoe. Zoe Brimble wobbled into the kitchen and fell unceremoniously onto her behind, giggling like a lunatic and letting out snorts every few seconds. Her laughter caused her to fall back onto the floor where she rolled over several times and banged her fists on the floor before - finally - calming down enough to sit herself back up, red in the face splotched with tears. That was when she noticed me staring. She stood up and made her way towards me looking completely at ease, not at all embarrassed by how she was sprawled out on the floor in hysterics only moments before.
"I'm Zoe Brimble and I'm 10 years old. Dad says you're the new girl." Her greeting was so formal unlike any other child's. She stuck her hand out.
Zoe was a tall girl even for a ten year old. I had to stand to get a decent grip on her hand. After introducing myself for the umpteenth time that night, Zoe led me out of the kitchens and to a boy her age: Jonathan 'Nate' Pike. We spent the rest of the evening together finding out about each other's favourite hobbies and animals and childhood stories, until they all departed along with the rest of the guests, Nate leaving last with his mother as she was delightedly gushing over Johnny's new little friend, producing a bright red blush on his face.