(no subject)
i'm gonna actually sit here and pour my heart out. haha, first off i realize i write on here because it's like helping me get everything out and in the open and quite frankly, i'd rather type it then write but THEN i realized that my friends actually read this and you guys know whats actually going on like beyond what i tell people outloud....yeah, weird.
Ok previous entry kinda left you a little (?) so the guy's name is Josh. Joshua James Jefferey. He's not the skinniest guy, or the "hottest", he weighs 230 lbs, 6 foot 1 and works with me. But, like I said there is something deep down like "from the bottom of my heart" that says...correction, knows he's the one for me, no idea why but he is the ONLY guy that I trust....after what happened with Ashton I thought it was nearly IMPOSSIBLE to trust, our personalities mesh so well it's almost ridiculous, he would NEVER hurt me - ever, he's a genuinly nice guy and I can't really explain it, but I just know it. I'm not "ready" per say for a relationship and i'm sure as hell not rushing a thing into this, i'm just letting you all know he's the one for me. Now, when we start dating and all this stuff will be based purely on when i'm ready, and i for one, don't think i'm ready haha.
I miss my old weight. I used to weigh 123, and I loooved it. I had boobs (almost C) I could wear my favorite jeans, and tanks and still look skinny. But now, I have no boobs anymore, I have no butt, I look sickly, everyone thinks i'm anorexic (when i'm clearly not) and I don't do anything in the world to keep from losing this weight!!! like my default picture on myspace is of me last summer before I left for michigan and i'm like good grief what i could kill for my old boobs and weight back :/
Ok previous entry kinda left you a little (?) so the guy's name is Josh. Joshua James Jefferey. He's not the skinniest guy, or the "hottest", he weighs 230 lbs, 6 foot 1 and works with me. But, like I said there is something deep down like "from the bottom of my heart" that says...correction, knows he's the one for me, no idea why but he is the ONLY guy that I trust....after what happened with Ashton I thought it was nearly IMPOSSIBLE to trust, our personalities mesh so well it's almost ridiculous, he would NEVER hurt me - ever, he's a genuinly nice guy and I can't really explain it, but I just know it. I'm not "ready" per say for a relationship and i'm sure as hell not rushing a thing into this, i'm just letting you all know he's the one for me. Now, when we start dating and all this stuff will be based purely on when i'm ready, and i for one, don't think i'm ready haha.
I miss my old weight. I used to weigh 123, and I loooved it. I had boobs (almost C) I could wear my favorite jeans, and tanks and still look skinny. But now, I have no boobs anymore, I have no butt, I look sickly, everyone thinks i'm anorexic (when i'm clearly not) and I don't do anything in the world to keep from losing this weight!!! like my default picture on myspace is of me last summer before I left for michigan and i'm like good grief what i could kill for my old boobs and weight back :/