Massacre of the Innocents: Mr & Mrs Granger
There's hardly anything to say about this one - this cliche has so little in the way of variation that there's really not much to laugh about.
I just think we should all take a moment to remember Hermione's poor, poor parents whose only crime was to give birth to a magical child, and who were then ruthlessly culled for no other reason than to unbalance Hermione emotionally, the better to propel her into the arms of some unsuitable man. Being killed in nasty ways (and they always are. If the man is really unsuitable, losing both parents in the normal way may still not provide sufficient angst) is never a bundle of laughs at the best of times, but for such intelligent and rational people (given their profession and their daughter) it is the final indignity.
I'd like to think that there are swathes of fics out there where the Grangers live normal, happy lives - pottering in the garden, doing fun runs for charity, taking evening classes and attending concerts of classical music laid on by the rather good local Music Society - but I've never come across them. It's dead or nothing, apparently.
Innocent martyrs, felled by the laziness and lack of imagination of a thousand third-rate fanfic writers - I salute you!
I just think we should all take a moment to remember Hermione's poor, poor parents whose only crime was to give birth to a magical child, and who were then ruthlessly culled for no other reason than to unbalance Hermione emotionally, the better to propel her into the arms of some unsuitable man. Being killed in nasty ways (and they always are. If the man is really unsuitable, losing both parents in the normal way may still not provide sufficient angst) is never a bundle of laughs at the best of times, but for such intelligent and rational people (given their profession and their daughter) it is the final indignity.
I'd like to think that there are swathes of fics out there where the Grangers live normal, happy lives - pottering in the garden, doing fun runs for charity, taking evening classes and attending concerts of classical music laid on by the rather good local Music Society - but I've never come across them. It's dead or nothing, apparently.
Innocent martyrs, felled by the laziness and lack of imagination of a thousand third-rate fanfic writers - I salute you!