Jennifer Bouvier/Jeff Desrosiers
I feel like I should be getting time and half for this...well, you know, if I was getting paid. A hellspawn that I suspect is a troll, for your enjoyment.
TITLE: Jack's Lost Daughter
CULPRIT: punkfoot
SUMMARY: "A girl named Jennifer escapes from her orphanage and finds herself a job on the Black Pearl. Meanwhile Jack finds out he has a daughter and has to find her. Will and Elizabeth come later in the story. (my ferst fic so be nice)"
BEST LINE: "Jennifer followed them after adjusting her bandana but as she was walking she saw her reflection on something. ‘Oh no my chest she thought!’ she thought to herself. But she hunched down slightly in order to hide them." She saw her reflection in her-- But how-- And she hunched over to-- Does she wax them or-- What. The. Fuck?!
THE VERDICT
This shot is meant for you, Sue.
NAME: Jennifer Bouvier calls herself Jeff Desrosiers
EYES: "nice emerald eyes"
HAIR: "brown long hair"
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: "a pointy nose (but not that pointy). She was fit (but not muscular fit) and she was pretty skinny." A stupid tattoo of the sun around her navel.
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: "She had four daggers on her black leather belt, two in her shoes, two strapped on her knees, two strapped on her back, and two strapped on her wrists." She also gets a necklace from her friends that is a skull with emerald eyes.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Jack's daughter who has lived at an orphanage for the last two years after her uncle's ship sunk and she washed up on shore in Tortuga.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: [See Above]
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: She's an amazing fighter.
THE "PLOT": Sue runs away from the orphanage. She dresses like a boy (this involves putting on some pants and a bandana) and joins Jack's crew. She hangs around on the Black Pearl as a pirate for a few months, constantly wondering what would happen if another pirate ship were to attack the Black Pearl. Eventually one does and Sue pretty much kills the entire crew by herself, even though I can't figure out how she can even draw her daggers since she bandaged them to herself to hide them. I'm not even going to comment on whether or not anyone ever wondered why she had malformed growths on her wrists, back, knees, and ankles. Neither am I going to wonder how exactly someone straps daggers to their knees and still manages to walk around. I don't have the strength. Anyway, after Sue saves Jack and his entire inept crew from the other pirates they sail into Tortuga. It's conveniently Sue's sixteenth birthday so she visits her orphan friends who give her a necklace that I have no idea how they could afford or why exactly they would have gotten it at all considering that she was supposed to be running away forever. Jack visits Scarlett who, since his daughter is sixteen now, tells him about his daughter who went missing from the orphanage. Jack is upset and distraught and assembles his crew to look for his daughter. One of them suggests that it's Sue, but Jack rejects this suggestion because as far as he knows Sue's a boy, even though she does a dismal job of disguising the fact that she's a girl.
NOTES: I would rant again about the implausibility of girls passing for boys with minimal effort, especially a fifteen year old girl passing for a eighteen year old boy, but really, haven't I done that enough times by now? It's bullshit and we all know it's bullshit. Moving on.
This fic sucks ass. Besides that thing that I refuse to rant about again we also have the richest orphans in the world who are able to afford skull necklaces with emeralds for eyes. Not to mention the fact that Sue has a dozen daggers with emerald "J"s on them. I suppose one could assume that they were from when she was on her uncle's pirate ship, then one would also have to wonder how the hell she didn't sink like a rock with a dozen daggers strapped to her body as opposed to washing up on a shore in Tortuga. Then there's this thing where Jack has only ever seen one other person with green eyes. Yeah. Right. Then, of course, there's the complete idiocy wherein Scarlett for some reason doesn't tell Jack about his daughter until she's sixteen. There's no reason given for this. It was just what they decided to do.
That's not even everything, but I have a headache now.
Oh, and on an amusing note, every last one of her reviews is by the same person. Some fool called Jack Sparrow's Only Love. She must never have read any PotC fanfiction.
EXCERPT:
When I first started to report this fic, I read this first chapter and had to take a break for a while.
A/N. this is my first fic so plz tell me if it’s good or not.
Chapter One: The Orphanage
Jennifer looked outside through the window, it was almost dark and she thought it would be a good day to do it today. Yes today was the day she’d escape that awful orphanage. Today was the last day she’d ever see those nuns ever again. (A/n: I don’t know if there are nuns in Torgtuga, but let’s just say that there are) When she thought of that she took her daggers and put them where they belonged. She asked her best friend Sebastien if she could have a pair of pants and shirt. She also took her red and black bandana and put it on to keep her hair from falling.
Jennifer got dressed and looked like a teenage boy. She decided that if she wanted run away she should at least look like a boy because there would be a smaller chance of getting caught and put back into the orphanage. She was fifteen years old but she wasn’t allowed to leave until she was eighteen years old, but she couldn’t wait that long.
Jennifer checked herself to see if everything was in place. She wore grey pants, a white shirt, and brown boots. Her hair was just below her shoulders so it was easy for her to keep it under her red and black bandana. She had twelve daggers in total and two metal plates that were especially made for her knuckles incase of defense.
She had four daggers on her black leather belt, two in her shoes, two strapped on her knees, two strapped on her back, and two strapped on her wrists. But none of those daggers were visible because they were hidden, accept for the ones on her belt. She wrapped cloth like bandages on her knuckles, knees, wrists, and back in order to keep the daggers and metal plates for her knuckles hidden. When she finished everything she hugged her two best friends Sebastien and Jamie, then carefully climbed out of the window.
Jennifer was a good fighter because after her mother died her uncle taught her how to throw so she can have good aim. He told her to always aim for the heart and he also taught her how to sword fight. Jennifer’s uncle knew many techniques and taught then all to her. He taught her how to sword fight by using two swords and she quickly mastered it. Her uncle also taught her how to punch, kick, elbow, and knee.
Jennifer was an average height teenage girl with nice emerald eyes, brown long hair, and a pointy nose (but not that pointy). She was fit (but not muscular fit) and she was pretty skinny.
As Jennifer walked around, she asked herself where she would stay for the night. She walked around for about an hour and a half and found herself walking on the docks. While looking at all of them she spotted a beautiful black ship with black sails. She thought to herself for about a minute and decided that this was the place she would stay at since she did look like a man, why not.
Jennifer walked up on deck and saw a man with a singing parrot. She walked up to the man and asked in your best pirate voice, “Do ye kno’ where be the cap’n o’ this ship?”
The man didn’t answer but his parrot said, “In his cabin lad, in his cabin!”
“Iight thanks mate,” she said as she walked towards the cabin. Before going inside the cabin Jennifer knocked on the door.
“Hmm?” a light voice said. You opened the door to the cabin you could smell rum in the air and saw a man sitting and drinking. “Yes wha’ do ye need fro’ me?” asked the drunken pirate.
“Umm... can I be a part of ye crew?” asked Jennifer.
“Wha’s yer name lad?,” he asked.
She quickly thought and replied, “Jeff...Jeff Desrosiers.”
“Well Mr. Desrosiers I guess there’s no reason why I shouldn’t let ye on me she, but how old are ye?” he asked.
“I’m eighteen cap’n,” she replied.
“Alright Mr. Desrosiers, I’ll show ye the crew’s cabin and yer bed for the night,” he said with a smile.
“Aye cap’n,” she said.
“Oh and it’s Captain Jack Sparrow,” he introduced.
Jack showed Jennifer her bunk with the other pirates and then Mr. Gibbs said dinner was ready.
A/N. So what do you guys think!?!?!? Please review!!!!! Thx.
Bizarre randomosity.
After a whole month of being on the Black Pearl, Jennifer was enjoying it greatly. She had many friends and realized that these pirates were like the pirates on her uncle’s ship. She was swabbing the deck without complaining because she thought of all the great times on the Pearl. Then without realizing it Jack walked up to her, looking down on her with a confused look.
“Aye Cap’n?” Jennifer asked standing up.
“Are ye feelin’ alright Mr. Desrosiers?” he asked.
“Aye of coarse Cap’n, why do ye ask?” she replied.
“Oh nothin’,” he said as he felt Jennifer’s bandana.
‘Uh oh’ she thought to herself and then she then she put her hand on her bandana. “There be sumthin’ wrong Cap’n?” she asked as she pulled her head away from the Captain’s hand.
“Maybe ye should wash tha’ bandana of yers cause it’s gettin’ real sweaty,” he suggested.
“Aye Cap’n,” she replied.
Jennifer then headed to the cabin with a bucket of water. She took of her bandana to see that her hair smelled really bad, after all she hadn’t washed it in about a month. She cleaned her bandana in the bucket and then she dipped her hair into the water. It felt good to feel the water on her head again. When she finished she dried her hair and put her bandana back on. When she finished she walked to the deck and started to her job again.
Jennifer looked at the sun as she wiped the sweat off her forehead. Her emerald eye’s stood out from everyone else’s brown or black eyes. Jack saw his new crew member’s eye’s and knew that he’d never seen anyone with green eye’s before except for another pirate he met in Tortuga.
Jennifer was happy to have a captain like him because he was kind and was always drunk. She was happy that he always drank rum because he didn’t really notice her girl features. Jennifer thought that if she was on a pirate’s ship there would be a lot of fighting like her uncle’s ship. She wanted some action but she thought it was better off like this because at least none of her crew members got hurt.
“Time for dinner lad!” shouted Mr. Gibbs from across he deck pulling you out of her thoughts.
At dinner Jennifer sat beside Mr. Cotton. Mr. Cotton was a nice man even though he couldn’t talk.
“Hey Desrosiers why do ye always gots bandages on your knuckles and wrists?” asked one of the crew members.
Jennifer hesitated trying to think. “Oh is cause once I got me self some cuts and I had to keep them bandages on for a long time and I guess I jus’ got used to ‘em,” she replied waiting for them to believe her.
“o0o0o0o,” the whole crew nodded. Jennifer was happy that they bought it and then they went to bed.
That night Jennifer thought of what would happen if fierce some pirates came and attacked the Black Pearl. She thought that it would be really exciting and adventurous. Then while thinking of that she slowly went to sleep.
Look! It's Super Sue! And everyone else is inept.
Jennifer saw that the strawny pirate was headed her way and she also saw that they were out numbered. She still felt bad because she thought it was her fault so she knew she had to help out as much as she could.
Jennifer ran to the pirate and after a few stokes he was down. ‘That was easy’ she thought to herself. Then she took the sword of the pirate she just killed because she was used to fighting with two swords rather than one. Jennifer saw that Captain Lefebvre was still on the ship with another man. The man he was with was bigger than the others as they watched everyone fight.
She saw that Mr. Cotton had just lost his sword and two pirates were coming his way. Jennifer ran behind Mr. Cotton put both her swords down, took out two daggers from her belt and threw then at the two pirates hearts. She then gave Mr. Cotton the sword she took from the pirate and she picked up the sword Jack had given her.
Jennifer was having a lot of fun because these pirates were so pathetic. Then another pirate approached her and they drew swords. But then both the swords fell into the water and Jennifer became really pissed off. She punched the pirate across the face as he fell to he ground. Jack, Captain Lefebvre and the man standing beside him were all shocked that with one punch he was down.
Another two pirates approached you as you threw the other two daggers from your belt. They both fell to the ground with a dagger in their heart. Jennifer ran across the deck to try and get a sword but then two pirates with daggers approached her. The pirates were swinging their daggers at her but she was able to dodge them. When Jack saw this he quickly stabbed his apponent, took his sword and ran to Jennifer.
“I’m commin’ lad!!” he said as he ran towards her. Then the pirates who were swinging their daggers stopped and looked behind him. That gave Jennifer time to bend down and get the daggers from her knees. When the infamous Jack Sparrow got there he saw the two pirates fall on their backs with a dagger in their heart. Jack looked at her and handed her a sword. They both went back to their fighting, then Jennifer saw another two pirates approach another one of her crew members who lost his sword so she ran behind him, bent down, grabbed the two daggers from her shoes and threw them as usual in the hearts. The crew member turned around, thanked her and then she gave him her sword.
A/N: I’m so mean leaving this battle unfinished. You just gotta keep reading when it get there cause I still gotta type it. Plz Review if it’s good=) thx
More Super Sue antics! And look Jack's even more inept than you may have thought and he's stupid too!
When Jennifer gave her sword away all she had were four daggers left so she just had to use her fists. There weren’t a lot of pirates left so she decided to run up to one, kick his sword off his hands and punch him over board. Jennifer did that to about five pirates then she saw Jack trying his best to dodge two pirates at the same time. She then ran behind him and threw her two daggers from her back. Jack then grabbed his sword to see that there were only about six pirates left.
Jennifer kept fighting not knowing that the man who was standing beside Captain Lefebvre walked on the Black Pearl. He grabbed her from behind and told the rest of his crew to go back to their ship. When the last six pirates from Captain Lefebvre’s crew were back on the ship everyone turned towards Jennifer and the pirate holding her.
“Surrender or I’ll cut this lad’s throat!!!” he ordered. She then realized that she had two more daggers left strapped onto her wrists. The crew looked at each other then at Jack who was looking straight towards Jennifer. Jennifer let out a small smile but Jack was confused.
“Well what are ye waiting for?” asked the man with Jennifer.
When Jack heard this he slowly lowered his sword but he kept his eyes on Jennifer to see if he was going to pull a fast one. Captain Lefebvre and his were also watching this. Then the rest of the crew started to put down their swords but Jennifer shook her head lightly.
“No don’t!” said Jennifer.
“Shut up ye stupid boy!” said the pirate.
“Don’t call me stupid or else,” she said.
“Or else what?” asked the pirate holding her.
Jennifer was getting really impatient. She felt her wrists then looked back at Jack, who was watching what she was doing. Jennifer smirked at him but he was still confused because there was no way out. Then out of no where Jennifer kicked up right into the pirate’s eye which made him drop his sword. Jennifer kicked the sword across the deck and saw the man’s fist come right to her but she ducked. She then swept her foot across the floor making the pirate fall on his back.
Then she stood up to see Captain Lefebvre’s reaction. Captain Lefebvre’s face was full of shock. Jennifer then turned around to look at the pirate when he was just about to punch her when she moved. Then she took out her daggers from her wrists twirled them around her fingers then stabbed both of them in his heart.
“Or else that!” she said to the pirate just before he fell to the ground.
When she finished the whole crew looked at her in shock as Captain Lefebvre’s ship sailed away. She smiled at them then they began to cheer including Jack. When they finished cheering she walked around and started picking up her daggers. When she was half way through the Black Pearl started to set sail.
She then saw that Mr. Gibbs was on the helm and Jack tried to pick up a dagger that she threw but was having a really hard time taking it out. She walked over to him and asked, “Do ye need some help Cap’n?”
“Aye this one seems to be stuck,” he said as he let go of the dagger. Jennifer went over to it and pulled it out. Jack’s eye’s widened and said, “how the bloody hell did ye do tha’?”
“I dunno cap’n, but can I wash me daggers?” she asked.
“Aye, ye can get some water and a cloth from the galley if ye’d like,” he said as he helped Mr. Cotton and the rest of the crew throw the bodies overboard. (I knoe kinda scary but I didn’t knoe what to do with them)
Jennifer then went to get the water and cloth then walked back to the crew’s cabin. She washed each of them carefully then whipped them and put them on the on the floor. Jack then walked in with his saying hips and sat across from you.
“Are ye alright lad?” he asked.
“Aye Cap’n,” she replied.
“Well then tha’s good,” he said.
“It was very exciting even though those pirates were pathetic,” she said while whipping her daggers.
“Wha’ do ye mean pathetic?” he asked looking very confused.
“Well I’ve fought other pirates before and they were tougher then them,” she replied.
“Ah...Are ye sure yer only eighteen?” he asked with the same confusing look.
“No,” she replied truthfully.
“Ah I knew it. Ye fooled me then but the way ye fight is like a professional’s pirate’s way. So how old are ye? Twenty? Thirty?” he asked curiously
“Cap’n do I really look that ol’ to ye?” asked Jennifer. She felt so insulted.
“No actually ye look pretty young if yer older than eighteen,” he replied. “So how old are ye?” he asked again.
“But if I tell ye how old I am please dun’ kick me off yer ship?” she asked.
“Of coarse I won’t kick ye off me ship, yer a good lad and a good fighter,” he replied.
“Aliright, I’m fifteen years ol’,” said Jennifer.
“WHAT!?” he yelled with his eye’s widening.
“Please dun’ get mad Cap’n I’ll be turnin’ sixteen pretty soon,” she said.
“Who said I was mad lad?” he asked returning to his same drunken calm voice.
“Well ye did yell at me,” she replied
“Oh surry bout tha’ I was jus surprised tha’ a fifteen year ol’ bout nearly killed twenty pirates,” he said.
“Is alright Cap’n,” she said as she finished whipping her last dagger.
“Where do ye keep al those daggers neways?” he asked.
Why do I do this to myself?
When Jack got to the Black Pearl he saw that the whole crew was there except for Jennifer. Mr. Gibbs saw that Jack had a worried look on his face then asked, “Are ye alright Cap’n?”
“Just Peachy,” answered Jack.
“Alright everyone get into a bloody line!!” he yelled looking very frustrated.
Then the crew stood side by side. Then Jack said, “Alright I was jus-“he stopped then asked “Where’s the lad?”
“Not back yet Cap’n” said Mr. Cotton’s parrot.
“Alright I’ll jus’ tell him later. As I was sayin, I was just informed that I have a daughter.” He stopped as the crew gasped, then started again, “Aye, tha’s why we gotta find ‘er. She ran away a couple o’ months ago and probably went on another ship,” Jack explained. “She’s sixteen years old, looks exactly like me but has green eyes. Oh and she has a tattoo on her belly button,” Jack then said.
“Maybe it’s Desrosiers?!” shouted out one of the crew members.
“DAUGHTER, DAUGHTER!!! She’s a LASS not a LAD, a LASS!!!” Jack yelled because he was tired and worried about his daughter and frustrated that she ran away.
“Oh right,” said the crew member. (lol dumbass)
TITLE: Jack's Lost Daughter
CULPRIT: punkfoot
SUMMARY: "A girl named Jennifer escapes from her orphanage and finds herself a job on the Black Pearl. Meanwhile Jack finds out he has a daughter and has to find her. Will and Elizabeth come later in the story. (my ferst fic so be nice)"
BEST LINE: "Jennifer followed them after adjusting her bandana but as she was walking she saw her reflection on something. ‘Oh no my chest she thought!’ she thought to herself. But she hunched down slightly in order to hide them." She saw her reflection in her-- But how-- And she hunched over to-- Does she wax them or-- What. The. Fuck?!
THE VERDICT
This shot is meant for you, Sue.
NAME: Jennifer Bouvier calls herself Jeff Desrosiers
EYES: "nice emerald eyes"
HAIR: "brown long hair"
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: "a pointy nose (but not that pointy). She was fit (but not muscular fit) and she was pretty skinny." A stupid tattoo of the sun around her navel.
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: "She had four daggers on her black leather belt, two in her shoes, two strapped on her knees, two strapped on her back, and two strapped on her wrists." She also gets a necklace from her friends that is a skull with emerald eyes.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Jack's daughter who has lived at an orphanage for the last two years after her uncle's ship sunk and she washed up on shore in Tortuga.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: [See Above]
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: She's an amazing fighter.
THE "PLOT": Sue runs away from the orphanage. She dresses like a boy (this involves putting on some pants and a bandana) and joins Jack's crew. She hangs around on the Black Pearl as a pirate for a few months, constantly wondering what would happen if another pirate ship were to attack the Black Pearl. Eventually one does and Sue pretty much kills the entire crew by herself, even though I can't figure out how she can even draw her daggers since she bandaged them to herself to hide them. I'm not even going to comment on whether or not anyone ever wondered why she had malformed growths on her wrists, back, knees, and ankles. Neither am I going to wonder how exactly someone straps daggers to their knees and still manages to walk around. I don't have the strength. Anyway, after Sue saves Jack and his entire inept crew from the other pirates they sail into Tortuga. It's conveniently Sue's sixteenth birthday so she visits her orphan friends who give her a necklace that I have no idea how they could afford or why exactly they would have gotten it at all considering that she was supposed to be running away forever. Jack visits Scarlett who, since his daughter is sixteen now, tells him about his daughter who went missing from the orphanage. Jack is upset and distraught and assembles his crew to look for his daughter. One of them suggests that it's Sue, but Jack rejects this suggestion because as far as he knows Sue's a boy, even though she does a dismal job of disguising the fact that she's a girl.
NOTES: I would rant again about the implausibility of girls passing for boys with minimal effort, especially a fifteen year old girl passing for a eighteen year old boy, but really, haven't I done that enough times by now? It's bullshit and we all know it's bullshit. Moving on.
This fic sucks ass. Besides that thing that I refuse to rant about again we also have the richest orphans in the world who are able to afford skull necklaces with emeralds for eyes. Not to mention the fact that Sue has a dozen daggers with emerald "J"s on them. I suppose one could assume that they were from when she was on her uncle's pirate ship, then one would also have to wonder how the hell she didn't sink like a rock with a dozen daggers strapped to her body as opposed to washing up on a shore in Tortuga. Then there's this thing where Jack has only ever seen one other person with green eyes. Yeah. Right. Then, of course, there's the complete idiocy wherein Scarlett for some reason doesn't tell Jack about his daughter until she's sixteen. There's no reason given for this. It was just what they decided to do.
That's not even everything, but I have a headache now.
Oh, and on an amusing note, every last one of her reviews is by the same person. Some fool called Jack Sparrow's Only Love. She must never have read any PotC fanfiction.
EXCERPT:
When I first started to report this fic, I read this first chapter and had to take a break for a while.
A/N. this is my first fic so plz tell me if it’s good or not.
Chapter One: The Orphanage
Jennifer looked outside through the window, it was almost dark and she thought it would be a good day to do it today. Yes today was the day she’d escape that awful orphanage. Today was the last day she’d ever see those nuns ever again. (A/n: I don’t know if there are nuns in Torgtuga, but let’s just say that there are) When she thought of that she took her daggers and put them where they belonged. She asked her best friend Sebastien if she could have a pair of pants and shirt. She also took her red and black bandana and put it on to keep her hair from falling.
Jennifer got dressed and looked like a teenage boy. She decided that if she wanted run away she should at least look like a boy because there would be a smaller chance of getting caught and put back into the orphanage. She was fifteen years old but she wasn’t allowed to leave until she was eighteen years old, but she couldn’t wait that long.
Jennifer checked herself to see if everything was in place. She wore grey pants, a white shirt, and brown boots. Her hair was just below her shoulders so it was easy for her to keep it under her red and black bandana. She had twelve daggers in total and two metal plates that were especially made for her knuckles incase of defense.
She had four daggers on her black leather belt, two in her shoes, two strapped on her knees, two strapped on her back, and two strapped on her wrists. But none of those daggers were visible because they were hidden, accept for the ones on her belt. She wrapped cloth like bandages on her knuckles, knees, wrists, and back in order to keep the daggers and metal plates for her knuckles hidden. When she finished everything she hugged her two best friends Sebastien and Jamie, then carefully climbed out of the window.
Jennifer was a good fighter because after her mother died her uncle taught her how to throw so she can have good aim. He told her to always aim for the heart and he also taught her how to sword fight. Jennifer’s uncle knew many techniques and taught then all to her. He taught her how to sword fight by using two swords and she quickly mastered it. Her uncle also taught her how to punch, kick, elbow, and knee.
Jennifer was an average height teenage girl with nice emerald eyes, brown long hair, and a pointy nose (but not that pointy). She was fit (but not muscular fit) and she was pretty skinny.
As Jennifer walked around, she asked herself where she would stay for the night. She walked around for about an hour and a half and found herself walking on the docks. While looking at all of them she spotted a beautiful black ship with black sails. She thought to herself for about a minute and decided that this was the place she would stay at since she did look like a man, why not.
Jennifer walked up on deck and saw a man with a singing parrot. She walked up to the man and asked in your best pirate voice, “Do ye kno’ where be the cap’n o’ this ship?”
The man didn’t answer but his parrot said, “In his cabin lad, in his cabin!”
“Iight thanks mate,” she said as she walked towards the cabin. Before going inside the cabin Jennifer knocked on the door.
“Hmm?” a light voice said. You opened the door to the cabin you could smell rum in the air and saw a man sitting and drinking. “Yes wha’ do ye need fro’ me?” asked the drunken pirate.
“Umm... can I be a part of ye crew?” asked Jennifer.
“Wha’s yer name lad?,” he asked.
She quickly thought and replied, “Jeff...Jeff Desrosiers.”
“Well Mr. Desrosiers I guess there’s no reason why I shouldn’t let ye on me she, but how old are ye?” he asked.
“I’m eighteen cap’n,” she replied.
“Alright Mr. Desrosiers, I’ll show ye the crew’s cabin and yer bed for the night,” he said with a smile.
“Aye cap’n,” she said.
“Oh and it’s Captain Jack Sparrow,” he introduced.
Jack showed Jennifer her bunk with the other pirates and then Mr. Gibbs said dinner was ready.
A/N. So what do you guys think!?!?!? Please review!!!!! Thx.
Bizarre randomosity.
After a whole month of being on the Black Pearl, Jennifer was enjoying it greatly. She had many friends and realized that these pirates were like the pirates on her uncle’s ship. She was swabbing the deck without complaining because she thought of all the great times on the Pearl. Then without realizing it Jack walked up to her, looking down on her with a confused look.
“Aye Cap’n?” Jennifer asked standing up.
“Are ye feelin’ alright Mr. Desrosiers?” he asked.
“Aye of coarse Cap’n, why do ye ask?” she replied.
“Oh nothin’,” he said as he felt Jennifer’s bandana.
‘Uh oh’ she thought to herself and then she then she put her hand on her bandana. “There be sumthin’ wrong Cap’n?” she asked as she pulled her head away from the Captain’s hand.
“Maybe ye should wash tha’ bandana of yers cause it’s gettin’ real sweaty,” he suggested.
“Aye Cap’n,” she replied.
Jennifer then headed to the cabin with a bucket of water. She took of her bandana to see that her hair smelled really bad, after all she hadn’t washed it in about a month. She cleaned her bandana in the bucket and then she dipped her hair into the water. It felt good to feel the water on her head again. When she finished she dried her hair and put her bandana back on. When she finished she walked to the deck and started to her job again.
Jennifer looked at the sun as she wiped the sweat off her forehead. Her emerald eye’s stood out from everyone else’s brown or black eyes. Jack saw his new crew member’s eye’s and knew that he’d never seen anyone with green eye’s before except for another pirate he met in Tortuga.
Jennifer was happy to have a captain like him because he was kind and was always drunk. She was happy that he always drank rum because he didn’t really notice her girl features. Jennifer thought that if she was on a pirate’s ship there would be a lot of fighting like her uncle’s ship. She wanted some action but she thought it was better off like this because at least none of her crew members got hurt.
“Time for dinner lad!” shouted Mr. Gibbs from across he deck pulling you out of her thoughts.
At dinner Jennifer sat beside Mr. Cotton. Mr. Cotton was a nice man even though he couldn’t talk.
“Hey Desrosiers why do ye always gots bandages on your knuckles and wrists?” asked one of the crew members.
Jennifer hesitated trying to think. “Oh is cause once I got me self some cuts and I had to keep them bandages on for a long time and I guess I jus’ got used to ‘em,” she replied waiting for them to believe her.
“o0o0o0o,” the whole crew nodded. Jennifer was happy that they bought it and then they went to bed.
That night Jennifer thought of what would happen if fierce some pirates came and attacked the Black Pearl. She thought that it would be really exciting and adventurous. Then while thinking of that she slowly went to sleep.
Look! It's Super Sue! And everyone else is inept.
Jennifer saw that the strawny pirate was headed her way and she also saw that they were out numbered. She still felt bad because she thought it was her fault so she knew she had to help out as much as she could.
Jennifer ran to the pirate and after a few stokes he was down. ‘That was easy’ she thought to herself. Then she took the sword of the pirate she just killed because she was used to fighting with two swords rather than one. Jennifer saw that Captain Lefebvre was still on the ship with another man. The man he was with was bigger than the others as they watched everyone fight.
She saw that Mr. Cotton had just lost his sword and two pirates were coming his way. Jennifer ran behind Mr. Cotton put both her swords down, took out two daggers from her belt and threw then at the two pirates hearts. She then gave Mr. Cotton the sword she took from the pirate and she picked up the sword Jack had given her.
Jennifer was having a lot of fun because these pirates were so pathetic. Then another pirate approached her and they drew swords. But then both the swords fell into the water and Jennifer became really pissed off. She punched the pirate across the face as he fell to he ground. Jack, Captain Lefebvre and the man standing beside him were all shocked that with one punch he was down.
Another two pirates approached you as you threw the other two daggers from your belt. They both fell to the ground with a dagger in their heart. Jennifer ran across the deck to try and get a sword but then two pirates with daggers approached her. The pirates were swinging their daggers at her but she was able to dodge them. When Jack saw this he quickly stabbed his apponent, took his sword and ran to Jennifer.
“I’m commin’ lad!!” he said as he ran towards her. Then the pirates who were swinging their daggers stopped and looked behind him. That gave Jennifer time to bend down and get the daggers from her knees. When the infamous Jack Sparrow got there he saw the two pirates fall on their backs with a dagger in their heart. Jack looked at her and handed her a sword. They both went back to their fighting, then Jennifer saw another two pirates approach another one of her crew members who lost his sword so she ran behind him, bent down, grabbed the two daggers from her shoes and threw them as usual in the hearts. The crew member turned around, thanked her and then she gave him her sword.
A/N: I’m so mean leaving this battle unfinished. You just gotta keep reading when it get there cause I still gotta type it. Plz Review if it’s good=) thx
More Super Sue antics! And look Jack's even more inept than you may have thought and he's stupid too!
When Jennifer gave her sword away all she had were four daggers left so she just had to use her fists. There weren’t a lot of pirates left so she decided to run up to one, kick his sword off his hands and punch him over board. Jennifer did that to about five pirates then she saw Jack trying his best to dodge two pirates at the same time. She then ran behind him and threw her two daggers from her back. Jack then grabbed his sword to see that there were only about six pirates left.
Jennifer kept fighting not knowing that the man who was standing beside Captain Lefebvre walked on the Black Pearl. He grabbed her from behind and told the rest of his crew to go back to their ship. When the last six pirates from Captain Lefebvre’s crew were back on the ship everyone turned towards Jennifer and the pirate holding her.
“Surrender or I’ll cut this lad’s throat!!!” he ordered. She then realized that she had two more daggers left strapped onto her wrists. The crew looked at each other then at Jack who was looking straight towards Jennifer. Jennifer let out a small smile but Jack was confused.
“Well what are ye waiting for?” asked the man with Jennifer.
When Jack heard this he slowly lowered his sword but he kept his eyes on Jennifer to see if he was going to pull a fast one. Captain Lefebvre and his were also watching this. Then the rest of the crew started to put down their swords but Jennifer shook her head lightly.
“No don’t!” said Jennifer.
“Shut up ye stupid boy!” said the pirate.
“Don’t call me stupid or else,” she said.
“Or else what?” asked the pirate holding her.
Jennifer was getting really impatient. She felt her wrists then looked back at Jack, who was watching what she was doing. Jennifer smirked at him but he was still confused because there was no way out. Then out of no where Jennifer kicked up right into the pirate’s eye which made him drop his sword. Jennifer kicked the sword across the deck and saw the man’s fist come right to her but she ducked. She then swept her foot across the floor making the pirate fall on his back.
Then she stood up to see Captain Lefebvre’s reaction. Captain Lefebvre’s face was full of shock. Jennifer then turned around to look at the pirate when he was just about to punch her when she moved. Then she took out her daggers from her wrists twirled them around her fingers then stabbed both of them in his heart.
“Or else that!” she said to the pirate just before he fell to the ground.
When she finished the whole crew looked at her in shock as Captain Lefebvre’s ship sailed away. She smiled at them then they began to cheer including Jack. When they finished cheering she walked around and started picking up her daggers. When she was half way through the Black Pearl started to set sail.
She then saw that Mr. Gibbs was on the helm and Jack tried to pick up a dagger that she threw but was having a really hard time taking it out. She walked over to him and asked, “Do ye need some help Cap’n?”
“Aye this one seems to be stuck,” he said as he let go of the dagger. Jennifer went over to it and pulled it out. Jack’s eye’s widened and said, “how the bloody hell did ye do tha’?”
“I dunno cap’n, but can I wash me daggers?” she asked.
“Aye, ye can get some water and a cloth from the galley if ye’d like,” he said as he helped Mr. Cotton and the rest of the crew throw the bodies overboard. (I knoe kinda scary but I didn’t knoe what to do with them)
Jennifer then went to get the water and cloth then walked back to the crew’s cabin. She washed each of them carefully then whipped them and put them on the on the floor. Jack then walked in with his saying hips and sat across from you.
“Are ye alright lad?” he asked.
“Aye Cap’n,” she replied.
“Well then tha’s good,” he said.
“It was very exciting even though those pirates were pathetic,” she said while whipping her daggers.
“Wha’ do ye mean pathetic?” he asked looking very confused.
“Well I’ve fought other pirates before and they were tougher then them,” she replied.
“Ah...Are ye sure yer only eighteen?” he asked with the same confusing look.
“No,” she replied truthfully.
“Ah I knew it. Ye fooled me then but the way ye fight is like a professional’s pirate’s way. So how old are ye? Twenty? Thirty?” he asked curiously
“Cap’n do I really look that ol’ to ye?” asked Jennifer. She felt so insulted.
“No actually ye look pretty young if yer older than eighteen,” he replied. “So how old are ye?” he asked again.
“But if I tell ye how old I am please dun’ kick me off yer ship?” she asked.
“Of coarse I won’t kick ye off me ship, yer a good lad and a good fighter,” he replied.
“Aliright, I’m fifteen years ol’,” said Jennifer.
“WHAT!?” he yelled with his eye’s widening.
“Please dun’ get mad Cap’n I’ll be turnin’ sixteen pretty soon,” she said.
“Who said I was mad lad?” he asked returning to his same drunken calm voice.
“Well ye did yell at me,” she replied
“Oh surry bout tha’ I was jus surprised tha’ a fifteen year ol’ bout nearly killed twenty pirates,” he said.
“Is alright Cap’n,” she said as she finished whipping her last dagger.
“Where do ye keep al those daggers neways?” he asked.
Why do I do this to myself?
When Jack got to the Black Pearl he saw that the whole crew was there except for Jennifer. Mr. Gibbs saw that Jack had a worried look on his face then asked, “Are ye alright Cap’n?”
“Just Peachy,” answered Jack.
“Alright everyone get into a bloody line!!” he yelled looking very frustrated.
Then the crew stood side by side. Then Jack said, “Alright I was jus-“he stopped then asked “Where’s the lad?”
“Not back yet Cap’n” said Mr. Cotton’s parrot.
“Alright I’ll jus’ tell him later. As I was sayin, I was just informed that I have a daughter.” He stopped as the crew gasped, then started again, “Aye, tha’s why we gotta find ‘er. She ran away a couple o’ months ago and probably went on another ship,” Jack explained. “She’s sixteen years old, looks exactly like me but has green eyes. Oh and she has a tattoo on her belly button,” Jack then said.
“Maybe it’s Desrosiers?!” shouted out one of the crew members.
“DAUGHTER, DAUGHTER!!! She’s a LASS not a LAD, a LASS!!!” Jack yelled because he was tired and worried about his daughter and frustrated that she ran away.
“Oh right,” said the crew member. (lol dumbass)