this post is TMI
Yo.
So...last Friday, Sean came over to watch some Batman cartoons and we ended up dancing the horizontal tango instead, so HA! Wait, what? Exactly. Ignore me, I don't know what I'm talking about. Or how I feel about it, even.
You know, the entire time we went out, we only did the hokey pokey and turned ourselves about like, one and a half times. (I say one and a HALF because the first time we tried... didn't work out so well.) And that was within the first year of our relationship. After that, I decided I didn't like intercourse so much, and plus, I have weird body issues and can be a wee bit insecure sometimes. Sure, we fooled around all the effing time and that was fun, but no hoo-hoos in my hoo-ha.
Its kind of funny because if you know me, judging by the way I talk, I'm the horniest person ever. Since I hit puberty, I've been joking about how I need to get laid non-stop, no? Go figure.
Anyway, fast forward to me sitting next to Sean on the couch last Friday and I'm just arguing with my inner dialog: If I can lure this boy next to me into my bedroom, *I WILL* sleep with him GODDAMMIT. No you won't; you totally chickened out on Halloween. Shut the fuck up, me! Yes I will. I will not go through life being retarded and un-experienced. When I happen to bag another hottie boyfriend down the road, I refuse to be awkward and shy in the sack. I AM GOING TO BE SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN. With some Blair mixed in. Hell, I want to be both of them. Why must they be so damn fabulously beautiful and sleep with every guy on the show? I need to stop watching "Gossip Girl".
Or maybe I shouldn't watch "Cruel Intentions" with Annie anymore because this scene with Katherine and that dumb chick Selma Blair played TOTALLY SPEAKS TO ME:
KATHRYN
Think of Sebastian as a tutor. Let him
instruct you.
CECILE
I don't love him. I love Ronald.
KATHRYN
So? Don't you want to make Ronald happy?
Practice makes perfect,Cecile. My advice
is to sleep with as many people as possible.
CECILE
But that would make me a slut.
(beat)
Wouldn't it?
KATHRYN
Cecile, everybody does it. It's just
that nobody talks about it.
AND SHE IS TOTALLY RIGHT. See where I am going with this? guess I'm using Sean. That's probably bad, but I don't care. If he's getting laid out of it, I doubt he does either. He's totally the chick in whatever fucked up relationship we having going on right now. Every five minutes he has to remind me that no matter what we do, it doesn't mean that we are getting back together. No shit, Sherlock. I know he feels bad about how hurt I was when he dumped me, but I'm more or less over it. And there's no way we could work it out if we did get back together and that's not really what I'm looking for. Although I would be lying if I didn't make note that I still do have feelings for him and find him hot as hell. So... eh.
Fuck it. :P
So...last Friday, Sean came over to watch some Batman cartoons and we ended up dancing the horizontal tango instead, so HA! Wait, what? Exactly. Ignore me, I don't know what I'm talking about. Or how I feel about it, even.
You know, the entire time we went out, we only did the hokey pokey and turned ourselves about like, one and a half times. (I say one and a HALF because the first time we tried... didn't work out so well.) And that was within the first year of our relationship. After that, I decided I didn't like intercourse so much, and plus, I have weird body issues and can be a wee bit insecure sometimes. Sure, we fooled around all the effing time and that was fun, but no hoo-hoos in my hoo-ha.
Its kind of funny because if you know me, judging by the way I talk, I'm the horniest person ever. Since I hit puberty, I've been joking about how I need to get laid non-stop, no? Go figure.
Anyway, fast forward to me sitting next to Sean on the couch last Friday and I'm just arguing with my inner dialog: If I can lure this boy next to me into my bedroom, *I WILL* sleep with him GODDAMMIT. No you won't; you totally chickened out on Halloween. Shut the fuck up, me! Yes I will. I will not go through life being retarded and un-experienced. When I happen to bag another hottie boyfriend down the road, I refuse to be awkward and shy in the sack. I AM GOING TO BE SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN. With some Blair mixed in. Hell, I want to be both of them. Why must they be so damn fabulously beautiful and sleep with every guy on the show? I need to stop watching "Gossip Girl".
Or maybe I shouldn't watch "Cruel Intentions" with Annie anymore because this scene with Katherine and that dumb chick Selma Blair played TOTALLY SPEAKS TO ME:
KATHRYN
Think of Sebastian as a tutor. Let him
instruct you.
CECILE
I don't love him. I love Ronald.
KATHRYN
So? Don't you want to make Ronald happy?
Practice makes perfect,Cecile. My advice
is to sleep with as many people as possible.
CECILE
But that would make me a slut.
(beat)
Wouldn't it?
KATHRYN
Cecile, everybody does it. It's just
that nobody talks about it.
AND SHE IS TOTALLY RIGHT. See where I am going with this? guess I'm using Sean. That's probably bad, but I don't care. If he's getting laid out of it, I doubt he does either. He's totally the chick in whatever fucked up relationship we having going on right now. Every five minutes he has to remind me that no matter what we do, it doesn't mean that we are getting back together. No shit, Sherlock. I know he feels bad about how hurt I was when he dumped me, but I'm more or less over it. And there's no way we could work it out if we did get back together and that's not really what I'm looking for. Although I would be lying if I didn't make note that I still do have feelings for him and find him hot as hell. So... eh.
Fuck it. :P