EPIC TWILIGHT POST!
After working at a stupid call center for so long with only the internetz to keep me from killing myself from monotonous boredom, there gets to a point where I believe that I have READ EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAS EVER BEEN TYPED ONLINE EVER. Really. I work, between six to nine hours a day, five times a week. How many time can I check my livejournal, my facebook, my friends' journals and facebooks, lolcats, engrish, postsecret, and television without pity? (The list goes on.)
Anyway, you should see some of this shit that is online about "Twilight". Its amazing. There are some fangirls that are just batshit. Bring on the lulz!
- Some dumb bitch out there actually named her baby Renesmee. No, I am not making this shit up. What's even better is that the babymama is FIFTEEN. And what's even better than that is that she only hooked up with the babydaddy is because his name is EDWARD. I cannot contain the look of horror on my face when I read that. Follow the link. It's amazing.
- OH! Go here >> ADVENTURES OF RPATTZ It made my laugh more than anything had a right to. I think my favorite is either between "DO I DAZZLE YOU? WHAT I DON'T? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" or "DOES RPATTZ HAVE TO SMACK A BITCH?"
- No, wait! "Growing Up Cullen" takes the cake on my having to mute the customers so that they don't hear me cackling while I totally pretend to fix their bill for them. Check it out over hurr. Its a series of IM conversations where these two people randomly came up with their own "Twilight" canon about what Edward did all those centuries while all the couples in the family were presumably fucking. Apparently, Edward is an anal, prissy virgin who scrapbooks and Emmett is a total fraternity douchebag.
"ALSO: A JOURNAL WHERE HE KEEPS TRACK OF HIS EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS AND WHAT BELLA DID EVERY DAY AND EDWARD FREAKS OUT. 10 AM: SHE TRIED TO KISS ME, I RESISTED. 10:01 AM: SHE TRIED TO KISS ME AGAIN, I RESISTED. BELLA DID NOT "FUCK A DUCK" ON THE 13TH. WHO TOUCHED MY CHARTS? EMMETT I KNOW IT WAS YOU. I CAN READ MINDS OKAY???"
Hee.
- OMG and have y'all seen the new trailer that came out the other day?
I seriously don't know where to start. LOL @ the RayBans. And how effing awesome is RPattz (yes, I'm calling him that now)? I know I originally gave a lot of shit about him not being Gaspard but homeboy is fully tapping into the creepy ass stalker douchebag that Edward really is. And has anyone read the interviews that he gives about the movie?
“When you read the book,” says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid and interesting even without makeup, “it’s like, ‘Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.’ I mean every line is like that. He’s the most ridiculous person who’s so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn’t to that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that’s how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus he’s an 108 year old virgin so he’s obviously got some issues there.” - from Empire Magazine
How can you hate a guy like that? The only way I can stomach this movie is to think of it as one giant parody of everything that was so, so deliciously wrong with the book. They're going to kick me out of the theater from the lulz, y'all.
Anyway, you should see some of this shit that is online about "Twilight". Its amazing. There are some fangirls that are just batshit. Bring on the lulz!
- Some dumb bitch out there actually named her baby Renesmee. No, I am not making this shit up. What's even better is that the babymama is FIFTEEN. And what's even better than that is that she only hooked up with the babydaddy is because his name is EDWARD. I cannot contain the look of horror on my face when I read that. Follow the link. It's amazing.
- OH! Go here >> ADVENTURES OF RPATTZ It made my laugh more than anything had a right to. I think my favorite is either between "DO I DAZZLE YOU? WHAT I DON'T? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" or "DOES RPATTZ HAVE TO SMACK A BITCH?"
- No, wait! "Growing Up Cullen" takes the cake on my having to mute the customers so that they don't hear me cackling while I totally pretend to fix their bill for them. Check it out over hurr. Its a series of IM conversations where these two people randomly came up with their own "Twilight" canon about what Edward did all those centuries while all the couples in the family were presumably fucking. Apparently, Edward is an anal, prissy virgin who scrapbooks and Emmett is a total fraternity douchebag.
"ALSO: A JOURNAL WHERE HE KEEPS TRACK OF HIS EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS AND WHAT BELLA DID EVERY DAY AND EDWARD FREAKS OUT. 10 AM: SHE TRIED TO KISS ME, I RESISTED. 10:01 AM: SHE TRIED TO KISS ME AGAIN, I RESISTED. BELLA DID NOT "FUCK A DUCK" ON THE 13TH. WHO TOUCHED MY CHARTS? EMMETT I KNOW IT WAS YOU. I CAN READ MINDS OKAY???"
Hee.
- OMG and have y'all seen the new trailer that came out the other day?
Click to viewI seriously don't know where to start. LOL @ the RayBans. And how effing awesome is RPattz (yes, I'm calling him that now)? I know I originally gave a lot of shit about him not being Gaspard but homeboy is fully tapping into the creepy ass stalker douchebag that Edward really is. And has anyone read the interviews that he gives about the movie?
“When you read the book,” says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid and interesting even without makeup, “it’s like, ‘Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.’ I mean every line is like that. He’s the most ridiculous person who’s so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn’t to that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that’s how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus he’s an 108 year old virgin so he’s obviously got some issues there.” - from Empire Magazine
How can you hate a guy like that? The only way I can stomach this movie is to think of it as one giant parody of everything that was so, so deliciously wrong with the book. They're going to kick me out of the theater from the lulz, y'all.