Plastic Stars
Well... We're almost done painting the attic... I'm really happy with how it's turning out...
I guy was hitting on my yesterday... But... I'm so shallow... He wasn't attractive, but he was a little creepy too... He didn't tell me his name until I gave him my phone number... Anna and I are hoping he loses it... I wrote it on a little gum wrapper...
I guess I should let go of my idea of true love... Of my prince... I don't think I'll ever find him... I'm living in a fake world full of delusions... I don't know why I keep fooling myself that faerie tales do happen, because they don't... Everyone seems to be in a faerie tale... Like Nick and Anna... Or even Lauren... She's just at the nightmare part... I don't know... I can't see me being like them... I can't see a lot of things... Like how I could be happy if I wasn't so damn shallow... I like to dilute myself with hallow ideas and imaginary worlds... I don't understand myself...
I guess... I'm being melodramatic... I don't know what I should be thinking... I think about meaningless things... People stop and wonder, "Why would you think about that?" and I have no anwser to give them... I don't know why I think... It seems like such a waste of time... You know, a lot of people admire it, but I don't get why... I never think about things like tests, grades, friends... I think about Love, myself, trees, nature... It's very selfish, this place in my head...
This place is also very messed up... I have too many dreams, dreams that are helping me get lost in hopes... These hopes aren't false, since I don't believe in false hope, but I do believe in pointless hopes, and that is just what I have... A pointless hope in true love... In faerie tales and charming princes... In happiness and heavens... Angels and sanctuary... People noticing me and me being outgoing...
I also hope that maybe I'll become important to someone I care about... I know I'm important... Lauren never tells me anything, but she says I'm her best friend... I don't know anymore... She wants me to tell her everything about me, and I ususally do to the best of my abilities... But that's never good enough for her... And she won't say a word to me... I don't feel like I'm important in her eyes, even though she tells me that I am... I don't know... I don't think I'm capable of anything...
I guess I feel worthless... I wish for impossible things... I dream impossible dreams... And not like the "dream that is America" but the dreams that people are afraid to say they've had... Or else they just don't care anymore...
I don't understand people anymore... I don't think I can...
I guy was hitting on my yesterday... But... I'm so shallow... He wasn't attractive, but he was a little creepy too... He didn't tell me his name until I gave him my phone number... Anna and I are hoping he loses it... I wrote it on a little gum wrapper...
I guess I should let go of my idea of true love... Of my prince... I don't think I'll ever find him... I'm living in a fake world full of delusions... I don't know why I keep fooling myself that faerie tales do happen, because they don't... Everyone seems to be in a faerie tale... Like Nick and Anna... Or even Lauren... She's just at the nightmare part... I don't know... I can't see me being like them... I can't see a lot of things... Like how I could be happy if I wasn't so damn shallow... I like to dilute myself with hallow ideas and imaginary worlds... I don't understand myself...
I guess... I'm being melodramatic... I don't know what I should be thinking... I think about meaningless things... People stop and wonder, "Why would you think about that?" and I have no anwser to give them... I don't know why I think... It seems like such a waste of time... You know, a lot of people admire it, but I don't get why... I never think about things like tests, grades, friends... I think about Love, myself, trees, nature... It's very selfish, this place in my head...
This place is also very messed up... I have too many dreams, dreams that are helping me get lost in hopes... These hopes aren't false, since I don't believe in false hope, but I do believe in pointless hopes, and that is just what I have... A pointless hope in true love... In faerie tales and charming princes... In happiness and heavens... Angels and sanctuary... People noticing me and me being outgoing...
I also hope that maybe I'll become important to someone I care about... I know I'm important... Lauren never tells me anything, but she says I'm her best friend... I don't know anymore... She wants me to tell her everything about me, and I ususally do to the best of my abilities... But that's never good enough for her... And she won't say a word to me... I don't feel like I'm important in her eyes, even though she tells me that I am... I don't know... I don't think I'm capable of anything...
I guess I feel worthless... I wish for impossible things... I dream impossible dreams... And not like the "dream that is America" but the dreams that people are afraid to say they've had... Or else they just don't care anymore...
I don't understand people anymore... I don't think I can...