(no subject)
yea i havent writtenin here in a while... sorry.
spring break is almost over, thank fucking god, im so sick of it... this is the complete worst spring break in the entire history of... my spring breaks... by far... it didnt even compare to the ones where me n tatiana wasted our days away on our porches... even though that was fun... and when dakota almost bit chad... hah... funny funny, but chad deserves every bite in the world... i hate him so much... hes such a fag... and he goes to fhs now... so now we have the whole glynock group at fhs... it kinda pisses me off when i see them, theyre so disgusting... yea so im pretty sure it was tatianas friend who keeps on calling my cell and saying that bens cheating on me... im sure he is... lets not get into that...
ben never calls me when he says hes gonna... i dont know why i get so frustrated at that.... maybe its my problem, maybe my stupid messed up brain created more stupid problems just so more flow through my head... im sick of this shit.. it hurts so bad, it hurts me when u do this ben... ooouuuccchhh... but when i think about it, its really just me being selfish... what the fuck is my problem?!?!?!? hes allowed to have friends, and hes allowed to hang out with them... whats going on with me? am i becomming obbsessive? why am i being so annoying... all these things seem to build up inside of me, and its my fault, bcuz i let them... but i just dont understand why... maybe i like being frustrated, and maybe i like being depressed, surely, thats it... i like feeling like this... i like making the person i love feel so bad about the things he does... i like making him feel miserable about himself just bcuz a little thing like this makes me feel....... upset... but why? why why why why WHY?!?!?
...Just had to let that out.
Theres just so much admiration in ur eyes. So much sparkle that brings a smile to my face. Everything about u i love. Can't stop thinking about u... ever, even if i wanted to. Sometimes i wish i could. Sometimes maybe i should. Maybe that would take away this selfish feeling where i want u all to myself, because surely, i shouldnt be feeling like this. Maybe its just that im still used to the past... "J" or maybe its that im afraid of it... "N"... The only thing that i can see so clearly is ur face. You're simply everything to me... You make me so happy... And i dont care what other people think, they can get annoyed when they read my lj bcuz im in love with a new person, i dont care... i should be able to express my feelings in whatever way i want, and since im tired of wasting away, writing myy life down, i figured i'd type it. fuck you.
Ok, well whatever that all was. I dont know why im in such deep thought right now. Hmm so, about what i did:
Watched Francis. Watched Bradley... thats about it. I think I'm just now realizing that im seriously not allowed to have friends... my mom is keeping me to chained into my room, that i dont even have friends there to let me out at all... i do have friends, but no good ones... ive lost them all, and its all her fault, bcuz she doesnt care thati should be having fun, she doesnt want me to turn into what she was... TRUST me, thats not what i plan on doing...
err, g2g <3
spring break is almost over, thank fucking god, im so sick of it... this is the complete worst spring break in the entire history of... my spring breaks... by far... it didnt even compare to the ones where me n tatiana wasted our days away on our porches... even though that was fun... and when dakota almost bit chad... hah... funny funny, but chad deserves every bite in the world... i hate him so much... hes such a fag... and he goes to fhs now... so now we have the whole glynock group at fhs... it kinda pisses me off when i see them, theyre so disgusting... yea so im pretty sure it was tatianas friend who keeps on calling my cell and saying that bens cheating on me... im sure he is... lets not get into that...
ben never calls me when he says hes gonna... i dont know why i get so frustrated at that.... maybe its my problem, maybe my stupid messed up brain created more stupid problems just so more flow through my head... im sick of this shit.. it hurts so bad, it hurts me when u do this ben... ooouuuccchhh... but when i think about it, its really just me being selfish... what the fuck is my problem?!?!?!? hes allowed to have friends, and hes allowed to hang out with them... whats going on with me? am i becomming obbsessive? why am i being so annoying... all these things seem to build up inside of me, and its my fault, bcuz i let them... but i just dont understand why... maybe i like being frustrated, and maybe i like being depressed, surely, thats it... i like feeling like this... i like making the person i love feel so bad about the things he does... i like making him feel miserable about himself just bcuz a little thing like this makes me feel....... upset... but why? why why why why WHY?!?!?
...Just had to let that out.
Theres just so much admiration in ur eyes. So much sparkle that brings a smile to my face. Everything about u i love. Can't stop thinking about u... ever, even if i wanted to. Sometimes i wish i could. Sometimes maybe i should. Maybe that would take away this selfish feeling where i want u all to myself, because surely, i shouldnt be feeling like this. Maybe its just that im still used to the past... "J" or maybe its that im afraid of it... "N"... The only thing that i can see so clearly is ur face. You're simply everything to me... You make me so happy... And i dont care what other people think, they can get annoyed when they read my lj bcuz im in love with a new person, i dont care... i should be able to express my feelings in whatever way i want, and since im tired of wasting away, writing myy life down, i figured i'd type it. fuck you.
Ok, well whatever that all was. I dont know why im in such deep thought right now. Hmm so, about what i did:
Watched Francis. Watched Bradley... thats about it. I think I'm just now realizing that im seriously not allowed to have friends... my mom is keeping me to chained into my room, that i dont even have friends there to let me out at all... i do have friends, but no good ones... ive lost them all, and its all her fault, bcuz she doesnt care thati should be having fun, she doesnt want me to turn into what she was... TRUST me, thats not what i plan on doing...
err, g2g <3