'Yes, Minister' or 'Why Tonks is not Kathy Bates'

Nov 16, 2005 13:33

I was inspired by this post in Sparklystuff's
journal about all those Draco is Tonks, Tonks is Draco type arguments that are floating around, to write

'Yes, Minister' or 'Why Tonks is not Kathy Bates'.

Scrimgeour: Tonks, as part of your continuing professional development, I expect you to brush up on your healing skills. Your last buttock re-attachment spell produced decidedly lopsided results, and you really need to work on getting those broken noses nicely re-aligned, that always brings good press for the Ministry. It raises public confidence in the Law Enforcement to see a nicely mended, aquiline nose in the news.

Tonks: Yes Minister.

Scrimgeour: And Tonks, I obviously don't expect you to personally go round breaking people's noses, or to advocate the carrying of a wand in a back pocket, but...

Tonks: ..No, no, I quite understand. But if I should happen to think of someone else who likes a bit of recreational nose-breaking, for example, one of the less savoury members of my extended family...

Scrimgeour: ...then you would be doing a public service by highlighting your relative's unpleasant habits, and of course, by mending the damage in the Ministry's service.

Tonks: Yes, Minister. Understood.

Scrimgeour: And if the nose in question happened to belong to someone high-profile, someone whose patronage would be of great use to the Ministry...

Tonks ...someone who might show their gratitude to the Ministry, by visiting from time to time?

Scrimgeour: Exactly. It would be a most pleasing circumstance.

Tonks: Yes, Minister.

Scrimgeour: I believe you have a cousin at Hogwarts, son of a Death Eater? He sounds like he might indulge in these sort of practices...

Tonks: Yes, Minister. I’m sure he will. Does.

Scrimgeour: He's in Harry Potter’s year at school, I think?

Tonks: Yes, Minister.

Scrimgeour: Lovely nose, that Harry Potter, don’t you think? I know most people are struck by his eyes, but I've always admired the Potter family nose, very aquiline. Very aquiline indeed...

Previous post Next post
Up