LJI Week 1, in which Washington needs to grow some Pokeballs
Dear Mike Pence:
It has come to my attention that you believe gay people are in need of electroshock therapy in order to "cure" homosexuality, which you believe to be a disease.
I would therefore like to request a pikachu as a service animal to provide me with shocks on demand whenever the situation may warrant.
While, in a perfect world, America would have a single-payer health care system like every other civilized nation in the world, I understand the reality of the situation - namely that this country isn't going to be civilized by any conceivable definition of the word with you and your cronies running things. Plus you strike me as the type of person who probably hates kittens, so it stands to reason you hate pikachus too. I therefore understand if you and\or the government are unable or unwilling to provide a pikachu for me.
However, I would like to know a means by which I may acquire one before you gut the Affordable Care Act. You see, I'm fairly sure being a raging homo would be considered a pre-existing condition, as I've been unrepentantly lezzing out since my early college days - and with private medical insurance, I run the risk of being given an off-brand electric Pokemon with far less medical value. Or worse yet, a digimon, and those aren't good for anything other than the off-label use of trolling Pokemon fans.
Please advise. I look forward to resolving this situation at your earliest possible convenience before you build a wall and send all the pokemon back to Kanto.
Sincerely,
A Concerned American
PS: As indicated in the image below, I tried contacting you via Twitter last month regarding this issue, but received no response. Maybe you were out with Trump grabbing Meowths and conspiring with Team Rocket to hack the election, IDK, but I'm pretty disappointed in you so far. Get it together, bro. What are you, Team Instinct? SMDH.
It has come to my attention that you believe gay people are in need of electroshock therapy in order to "cure" homosexuality, which you believe to be a disease.
I would therefore like to request a pikachu as a service animal to provide me with shocks on demand whenever the situation may warrant.
While, in a perfect world, America would have a single-payer health care system like every other civilized nation in the world, I understand the reality of the situation - namely that this country isn't going to be civilized by any conceivable definition of the word with you and your cronies running things. Plus you strike me as the type of person who probably hates kittens, so it stands to reason you hate pikachus too. I therefore understand if you and\or the government are unable or unwilling to provide a pikachu for me.
However, I would like to know a means by which I may acquire one before you gut the Affordable Care Act. You see, I'm fairly sure being a raging homo would be considered a pre-existing condition, as I've been unrepentantly lezzing out since my early college days - and with private medical insurance, I run the risk of being given an off-brand electric Pokemon with far less medical value. Or worse yet, a digimon, and those aren't good for anything other than the off-label use of trolling Pokemon fans.
Please advise. I look forward to resolving this situation at your earliest possible convenience before you build a wall and send all the pokemon back to Kanto.
Sincerely,
A Concerned American
PS: As indicated in the image below, I tried contacting you via Twitter last month regarding this issue, but received no response. Maybe you were out with Trump grabbing Meowths and conspiring with Team Rocket to hack the election, IDK, but I'm pretty disappointed in you so far. Get it together, bro. What are you, Team Instinct? SMDH.