LJ Idol Week 10 {Home}, in which a point is driven...
I'm reviving an ancient tradition from the primordial ooze of cyberspace for this one, because...well...because. Here in this intarwebz homeworld of ours, we've developed quite an intricate ecosystem - a digital food chain, a virtual circle (polygon?) of life if you will! Everything the light touches...except for that shadowy place over there. That's livejournal. Oh, and that other shadowy place. That's facebook. There's no sense is saying "you must never go there", because everyone goes there, but sometimes, you find yourself sitting there, staring gape-mouthed at the screen, with no words other than "WTFBBQ, you did NOT go there!"
For when the lights are on, but no one's home, and words escape you, but you need a special way to drive the point...well...you know where.
USENET-STYLE FORM FLAME, 2013 SOCIAL MEDIA EDITION
1) Copy below dotted line
2) Paste in response to offending post\poster
3) Check all that apply
4) Go hide in bomb shelter
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear:
[ ] Facebook friend [ ] LJ friend [ ] Friend-of-friend [ ] Random internet plague
You have engaged in one or more insipid online activities that is worthy of a flame, but is not worthy of the effort it would take to actually compose one. You are therefore receiving this automated message as a consolation prize because you:
[ ] Started a completely unnecessary flame war
[ ] Continued a completely unnecessary flame war
[ ] Posted a "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG!!1!11" message in response to a flamewar that actually *was* necessary
[ ] And then started a completely unnecessary flamewar someplace else over something totally irrelevant
[ ] Mistook an Onion article for real news
[ ] Mistook a Fox News article for real news
[ ] Which started a completely unnecessary flame war
[ ] In my journal
[ ] All over my news feed
[ ] Hijacked my thread
[ ] Hijacked multiple threads
[ ] Posted a thinly-veiled hissy fit
[ ] Posted a thinly-veiled martyr act
[ ] Posted a thinly-veiled potshot
[ ] And indignantly denied it when somebody called you on it
[ ] Posted an out-of-context quote with the sole purpose of making another poster look bad
[ ] Posted a blatant plea for attention
[ ] And tried to make it seem cryptic
[ ] And put Evanescence lyrics in your subject line
[ ] And indignantly denied it when somebody called you on it
[ ] Posted a declaration that everyone but you is a bad parent
[ ] Tagged me in an unflattering picture
[ ] Tagged me in an incriminating picture
[ ] Tagged me in an ancient picture
[ ] With my ex
[ ] Which resulted in (check all that apply): [ ] awkwardness [ ] drama [ ] nightmares
[ ] Spammed my newsfeed
[ ] Spammed my friendslist
[ ] Spammed my wall
[ ] With unwelcome app invites
[ ] With unwelcome religious quotes
[ ] With unwelcome motivational posters
[ ] With unwelcome chainletter hoaxes
[ ] That have been repeatedly debunked on snopes.com
[ ] And likely originated on Fox News
[ ] Spread some other hoax
[ ] Spread a virus
[ ] Are a virus
[ ] Updated 50 times in as many minutes
[ ] With links that contained a virus
[ ] With links to free iPad offers
[ ] That all contained a virus
[ ] With shameless cam whoring
[ ] Of your significant other
[ ] Of your kids
[ ] Of yourself
[ ] And you were making a duck face
[ ] Without using an LJ cut
[ ] Without cropping the pics
[ ] Without realizing you posted the exact same pic 5 or more times
[ ] And the pics were so dark, blurry, or otherwise FUBARed it was impossible to tell what they were supposed to be anyway
While your attempt at participating in social media is somewhat endearing, it really didn't turn out for the best.
[ ] Better luck next time.
[ ] Please don't let there be a next time.
[ ] There better *not* be a next time.
[ ] You are hereby voted off the island.
[ ] Please accept this Darwin Award as a parting gift.
[ ] Cheers, [ ] Regards, [ ] All my love, [ ] GTFO,
A Concerned Internet Citizen
For when the lights are on, but no one's home, and words escape you, but you need a special way to drive the point...well...you know where.
USENET-STYLE FORM FLAME, 2013 SOCIAL MEDIA EDITION
1) Copy below dotted line
2) Paste in response to offending post\poster
3) Check all that apply
4) Go hide in bomb shelter
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear:
[ ] Facebook friend [ ] LJ friend [ ] Friend-of-friend [ ] Random internet plague
You have engaged in one or more insipid online activities that is worthy of a flame, but is not worthy of the effort it would take to actually compose one. You are therefore receiving this automated message as a consolation prize because you:
[ ] Started a completely unnecessary flame war
[ ] Continued a completely unnecessary flame war
[ ] Posted a "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG!!1!11" message in response to a flamewar that actually *was* necessary
[ ] And then started a completely unnecessary flamewar someplace else over something totally irrelevant
[ ] Mistook an Onion article for real news
[ ] Mistook a Fox News article for real news
[ ] Which started a completely unnecessary flame war
[ ] In my journal
[ ] All over my news feed
[ ] Hijacked my thread
[ ] Hijacked multiple threads
[ ] Posted a thinly-veiled hissy fit
[ ] Posted a thinly-veiled martyr act
[ ] Posted a thinly-veiled potshot
[ ] And indignantly denied it when somebody called you on it
[ ] Posted an out-of-context quote with the sole purpose of making another poster look bad
[ ] Posted a blatant plea for attention
[ ] And tried to make it seem cryptic
[ ] And put Evanescence lyrics in your subject line
[ ] And indignantly denied it when somebody called you on it
[ ] Posted a declaration that everyone but you is a bad parent
[ ] Tagged me in an unflattering picture
[ ] Tagged me in an incriminating picture
[ ] Tagged me in an ancient picture
[ ] With my ex
[ ] Which resulted in (check all that apply): [ ] awkwardness [ ] drama [ ] nightmares
[ ] Spammed my newsfeed
[ ] Spammed my friendslist
[ ] Spammed my wall
[ ] With unwelcome app invites
[ ] With unwelcome religious quotes
[ ] With unwelcome motivational posters
[ ] With unwelcome chainletter hoaxes
[ ] That have been repeatedly debunked on snopes.com
[ ] And likely originated on Fox News
[ ] Spread some other hoax
[ ] Spread a virus
[ ] Are a virus
[ ] Updated 50 times in as many minutes
[ ] With links that contained a virus
[ ] With links to free iPad offers
[ ] That all contained a virus
[ ] With shameless cam whoring
[ ] Of your significant other
[ ] Of your kids
[ ] Of yourself
[ ] And you were making a duck face
[ ] Without using an LJ cut
[ ] Without cropping the pics
[ ] Without realizing you posted the exact same pic 5 or more times
[ ] And the pics were so dark, blurry, or otherwise FUBARed it was impossible to tell what they were supposed to be anyway
While your attempt at participating in social media is somewhat endearing, it really didn't turn out for the best.
[ ] Better luck next time.
[ ] Please don't let there be a next time.
[ ] There better *not* be a next time.
[ ] You are hereby voted off the island.
[ ] Please accept this Darwin Award as a parting gift.
[ ] Cheers, [ ] Regards, [ ] All my love, [ ] GTFO,
A Concerned Internet Citizen